As I am sure many of you already know, there is this trend on social media where people are reminiscing about the year 2016, usually with personal photos regarding what happened in their lives that year – ten years ago.

I am not always one to replicate the recent trends on my personal Facebook page, but it did get me curious that IF I did, what would I share? So, just like all of the other 2016 posters, I scrolled back on my phone to my 2016 pictures yesterday.

This was the first one that popped out at me. This was Valentine’s Day. My first Valentine’s Day having a boyfriend.

I know some of you have followed my story during this time, some of you learned about my story at my wedding, while others may still not really know.

So just in case – to catch some of you up on my history in relationships – there weren’t any.

There, you are caught up 😉

I started a dating challenge (one that I personally made up for myself) and back in September of 2014 decided I would go on 30 dates before I turned 30 in March 2015. Then I decided to start this blog and I posted about each date.

I met David on my date #3. His blog nickname was Mr. Knows Just What To Say/KJWTS because from day one his messages and texts brought warmth to my heart and butterflies to my stomach. And then my 30 dates journey took an unexpected turn when I realized I wanted most of my dates to be with him. That is what happened (I was making up the rules as I went along) and about 15 out of the 30 dates belonged to Mr. KJWTS. Those that were following my blog posts of each date soon entered into my journey with all of the feelings and emotions of what it felt like for me to enter into my first real dating relationship.

And then heartbreak.

That was 2016 for me.

The next picture in my phone from the capsule of 2016 was a screenshot of the text David sent me after our breakup conversation on the phone.

I honestly still get tears in my eyes when I read his words to me. He didn’t get nicknamed Mr. KJWTS for no reason.

But in the midst of pain, sometimes words like that are hard to take in. I remember just hoping he would change his mind.

Spoiler alert – he did change his mind – actually it was right around Valentine’s Day 8 years later.

I’ll get to that in another post, but right now, let’s put the spotlight back to 2016.

2016 was the year I graduated with my Masters in Educational Leadership.

I remember being proud of my accomplishment that weekend, but still sad – sad that David was not there with me to celebrate.

In June I went to the Rascal Flatts concert with the tickets that I bought David for his birthday that I never was able to give him. I didn’t go alone. I had my best friend with me and it was an amazing concert. But no matter how much I tried to get over him (it was 4 months by then, come on, it should not take this long!), I couldn’t shake the hollowness in my heart and pit in my stomach.

I should have given myself a bit more grace because I didn’t know it then but I had lost the only man I had ever loved.

The rest of the year’s photo collage were screenshots of guys from dating apps, screenshots of sweet and flirty text messages from them and lots of selfies with and without Luci which I am sure were being sent via those text message threads.

I have a picture from July 1st holding one of my best friend’s new babies.

This was the summer I learned that being amazingly happy for someone else and amazingly sad for my deferred hope of what I thought my life was going to look like can co-exist.

In August I took a screenshot of a post that a friend shared regarding a book she was reading.

I never read it. But ironically some friends that I met from a single’s Facebook group (The Grownup’s Table) suggested getting together to read this exact book and discuss this book every other week and that starts next Monday. I ordered it from Amazon yesterday – 9.5 years later 🙂

I smiled at the irony when I saw this screenshot. Especially because all of my local friends here are single people I met from a Facebook group that I would have never joined if I wasn’t still single when the group was created in November 2022. More on this in another post as well.

October had more Luci selfies when I got sick of the dating apps and realized I would rather just spend my Friday nights home with her. Crying was still involved, but I had Luci to kiss away the tears.

My next significant photo was of this popcorn.

Three bags of gourmet popcorn from a shop in Gatlinburg were sent to me from David on December 21st. I honestly don’t even think there was a note that came with it, but I knew they were from David because he was the only one that knew it was the best popcorn I ever had. We discovered it on a trip to Gatlinburg the previous year.

One part of my Valentine’s Day present that year was a coupon that entitled me to 3 large bags of gourmet popcorn. I of course had never redeemed it. I don’t think David sent me the popcorn because of this coupon, in fact I had forgotten about it myself and just now made the connection.

Receiving that popcorn warmed my heart and even if there was just 2% of me that thought to have hope that maybe we would get back together, I didn’t let it grow. Instead I stuffed it down as far as I could and just reveled in the thought that he was still thinking of me too.

I ended the year in Florida with my parents. This started the desire to spend Christmas on the beach as often as I could. We had amazing weather, enough to end the year with a tan.

One of the many reasons that I am so thankful for my parents is because they have been by my side through it all. They were right there ready to take a vacation, so I could get away and try to forget any sadness. And if I had to sit with sadness, even if it was on the beach, they sat in it with me.

So to be honest when I started seeing the 2016 trend, I was for sure not going to do it. Why would I want to relive the year of heartache?

But then I realized why. Because thinking back to all that God has done in the last ten years always makes me thankful for His plan. I would have told you in 2016 that I just wanted to know his plan then. I wanted some sort of glimpse that this sadness was not going to be my entire future.

I just looked up “God’s promises to us.” And this was the list I found:

• Love & Acceptance: God promises unending, unconditional love, welcoming believers as His children. 
• Presence & Guidance: He promises to be with us, never leave us, and guide us into truth (Matthew 28:20, Hebrews 13:5, John 16:13). 
• Provision & Strength: Promises include strength for the weary, provision for needs, and help in times of trouble (Isaiah 40:31, Philippians 4:19). 
• Salvation & Forgiveness: Through Jesus, God offers forgiveness for sins and the gift of eternal life (John 3:16, 1 John 1:9). 
• Peace & Comfort: He promises peace that guards hearts and minds and comfort during trials (Philippians 4:6-7, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4). 
• Purpose & Goodness: All things, even difficult circumstances, will work together for the good of His children (Romans 8:28). 
• Answered Prayer: God promises to hear and answer the prayers of His people (Psalm 34:17, Luke 11:13). 

These promises were comforting to me in 2016 and they are comforting to me now. Nowhere in that list is a promise to us that we will not have heartbreak, sadness or hurt. But instead He promises to give us strength and peace during those times. And the most amazing promise of all – the promise to never leave us and to give us a way to spend eternal life with Him.

My years after 2016 blend together. I am sure that when I look back through the pictures of 2017, 2018 and beyond, I will remember the highlights. But at first I just remember living year after year of unfulfilled dreams while many of my friends around me were experiencing them.

So if you are like me at first and the 2016 trend is a bit sad for you, when people are sharing when their preteens were born or their teenagers were toddlers. And you are wondering how did ten years go by and this is still my life? I get you.

Please know that while my circumstances finally did change in 2024 and I cannot wait to share the details of how that all unfolded, I still remember 2016. And 2017. And 2018. And…

And I know what it is like to look back on a decade and just wonder – wonder if God can give you a slight glimpse into a future that you long for.

If you are there – I am praying for you today. I am praying for El Roi’s (The God who sees) strength and peace to be larger than the sadness and hurt that co-exists.

And I am praying for a year of joy for you. So that in 2036, you can look back on 2026 with a smile.

Speaking of joy – I am going to go ask David if we can go to a gourmet popcorn shop today.