On eharmony, you send questions back and forth to one another until eventually it opens up into an email stage. One question that I usually ask right before eharmony unleashes us into the gates of unknown is if they saw my profile and what their thoughts are on my 30 dates idea. It is very interesting to read the responses. Of course, my favorite responses, are ones that fall along the premise that they think it is a wonderful idea. Here are a few responses that I have received so far regarding that question. The responses I typed under each quote, are just my thoughts, I didn’t use those exact phrases to respond to them.

“Sounds like fun. Nothing to lose but an evening of time! I am sure it will be a great tool for you as you mentor young women.”

Thanks for already seeing character in me to think I am capable of mentoring young women.

“Meeting new people can be good, and challenging and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone in order to grow and experience life, is almost always a good thing.”

“I think you shouldn’t get disappointed if you don’t make it to 30 dates before you turn 30. It’s not about quantity, but quality. 🙂 And something tells me you’ll be going on plenty of dates pre- and post- 30.”

Not sure what that “something” was, but I think he got a few points for that.

“So is that 30 dates with 30 different people or what? But as to how I feel about it, I am a youth pastor so I am a little crazy to start with.”

“My Dad told me that the only way I’m going to find out what I really want in a lady is to date more often. I think that it’s a good idea as long as you are safe. It takes much courage to do what you are doing. That shows me that you are special. Hopefully you will pick me…”

Way to go in bringing up your father, wise man he seems to be. Oh and thanks for calling me special.

One guy, the best communicator so far, actually commented about it before I even had a chance to ask him. He filled in a multiple choice question with a free response instead of choosing a multiple choice answer and then added the following to the end of his response:

“BTW I think your little dating experiment is AWESOME! Even if there’s no chemistry I’d be honored to be 1 of your 30 dates! Certain we’d have a great time regardless. =]”

See why he is my favorite?

Then there was the response below, pretty witty.

“Well one date with me and you will cancel this. Lol I think it would be hard to find 30 decent candidates.”

The funny thing about the quote above is that it came from the guy that was supposed to be my first date. He did a great job of getting the ball rolling and asked to go get coffee the following weekend (which was last weekend). After a bit of self questioning in my head, “Self, are you really sure you want to follow through on this idea?!” I said yes and we planned to meet at 8. However at 6, he emailed and cancelled due to a bad headache from allergies and he said, and I quote, “hope we can reschedule, later{enter in the name of the guy who I thought was witty, but now I am thinking chickened out to be my first date}. My first thought was you could at least apologize, but then I realized that I didn’t care. Not even one inch of me felt bad about being cancelled on. For once, I didn’t do the “girl thing” and overanalyze it. I didn’t wonder what I must have done wrong, if he was telling the truth or if for some reason he got another date that was better than me. Instead, I wrote him back and told him I hoped he felt better and that he could contact me when/if he wanted to reschedule. I haven’t heard from him since.

So instead of jumping in the shower, I decided to settle in for a night of correspondence via my laptop. Then an email popped up, from that “crazy” youth pastor and he was wondering if I wanted to get together tonight at 8! It was 7:15 already, what was he thinking? I guess he was crazy. But then again, I didn’t think either, because the… what I will refer to myself as… the “20s me” normally would have thought to myself, “Oh no, if I respond now and say yes, he will think I don’t have a life.” But the newly “about to be 30 me” responded and said sure! But I pushed it back to 8:30, since I had yet put on an ounce of make-up for the day. Not wearing make-up may have to be saved for the next decade, the “I am 40 and just don’t care me.”

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that I would have a backup date after a guy cancelled on me.

So, enter, date one: (sorry it has taken so long to get here…)

He suggested we go putt-putting. Which may I add, several other guys, okay just three, have already told me that they thought that would be a good first date experience. I am not jumping for joy at the idea of playing miniature golf, but I see the justification of why guys are gravitating towards that idea. We are going to need some more date options though people. I can only take playing putt putt about once a month, if that.

Anyway, when I arrived, he was already waiting for me at the entrance, it was 8:29. I love that he was early by the way, or at least there before 8:29. It was very nice as the woman, to walk up to the man already waiting on her. I tucked my cell phone in my purse and hid that in the backseat of my car, but grabbed my credit card and placed it in my back shorts pocket – just in case. I thought leaving my cell phone in the car was a good idea at the time, I wouldn’t be tempted to check my text messages. However, as I am typing that now, I realize that I should probably have my phone on me at all times, you know, just in case things get too crazy and I need a quick escape.

The first thing I said was, “Way to take the initiative in asking me out tonight, I am proud of you!” He smiled and asked how I was. We walked in and I explained I had never been there before and he said the last time he was there was in 2010. “So do you take all of your first dates putt putting?” I asked. He laughed and said no and it came out that we were both each other’s first dates from eharmony. I told myself I was not going to tell the guys what number out of the 30 they were, but I had just accidentally spilled the beans. An hour of mini golf consisted of me getting a hole in one, him winning the game by 4 and both of us becoming a lot more comfortable with each other. It was a bit hard to carry a conversation though, when one of us was constantly bending down to get the ball. Although, I must say, I was not nervous at all. I thought I might be, since it was the 1st first date, but I found myself trying to be the one to make him feel comfortable. Since the game ended after only an hour, I told him I was kind of hungry. I was just giving him a nudge not to end the date after just one hour and saving myself from playing another round. He asked me what I wanted and I asked him if he was hungry. He shrugged a bit and said, “yeah, I guess a little.” Which started making me feel a little self conscious. Note to guys ( I wonder if guys will read my blog), if you don’t want the date to end, then the answer is, “Yes, I am hungry, that’s a great idea, let’s go get something to eat!” I suggested ice cream and we took off towards a nearby ice cream place, in our separate cars by the way.

While we were in line for ice cream, I offered to pay, but he insisted that would not be necessary. Point for crazy youth pastor, since I was already feeling a bit guilty that I was the one that suggested we go eat something. We spent the next hour talking outside the ice cream shop and he did a great job carrying the conversation, or maybe it was me carrying the conversation, regardless, the conversation was carried. After that hour, I thanked him for being my first date, I thanked him for paying and we both left. That was the best ending of a first date ever! We didn’t need to talk about if we were going to see each other again, he didn’t ask for my number and there wasn’t an awkward hug. Later that night, he emailed me to make sure I got home safe and said, “We should do that again sometime!” I emailed him back and told him I did get home safe, but left out a response to his second part. Not because he wasn’t a great guy, but because I have 29 other dates to plan.

Now this post is even longer than the first and I am staying up past my bedtime two nights in a row. And..I haven’t even answered the question of what I was going to do if I found Mr. Right on date number ___(fill in the blank). That will be next post with date number 2, which was the following day. I am not saying date number 2 was “Mr. Right,” I am just saying I will answer the question in that same blog post.

29 and counting down. Until tomorrow.

Thank you to everyone who encouraged me to blog. I have never considered doing it before because, well, I hate the word blog and my life was pretty boring, busy, but boring nonetheless. All of that changed when I got my crazy 30 dates idea. I am now using my iPhone calendar to help schedule my dates and I am starting to get used to the word blog after all. This idea came to fruition the weekend before last, although it was an idea in the making since July. I still wonder what in the heck (and if I cursed, that would have been a good time to do so) I am actually doing. I am also a little bit nervous about comments. I have read blogs before, mostly just ones that people share on facebook, but I always cringe when I read the comments, because people can be mean. I am nervous my intentions will not fully shine through and my sarcasm might offend people. I just do not have the time to re-explain myself after each blog post or defend myself from each nasty comment. So let’s just hope that is a problem I do not have to deal with.

A Little Background:

Those of you that really know me, know that I have not dated much. I could probably count on my hands the number of guys I have gone out with and half of those, I wasn’t sure if it was really a date or not. I would say I have averaged less than 2 dates a year since moving to South Carolina. I could blame a lot of factors for this. One, I didn’t really want to go out with the graying 45 year old car mechanic that asked me out my first year down here, mind you I was a lot further from 30 at the time. And two, I didn’t want to go out with the 55 year old with a cane (although to give him some credit, he told me it was because he had just had surgery, what do they say down here?, bless his heart!) who I met at the library, that asked me to go see a movie after I helped him up from getting a book from the bottom shelf. You don’t even want to know about three and four.

But in all seriousness, while the above two incidents were very real, the main reason is because I just didn’t meet men very often. And sometimes, when I actually did, I put way too much pressure on myself in regards to the first date. I was on my guard the whole time, I was nervous that if I flirted, it meant I wanted to marry him. I was scared that if I didn’t laugh at his jokes, he would think I didn’t have a good sense of humor, but if I did laugh, he would think he was funny. I was apprehensive about what I shared with him, yet asked him a lot of questions to see whether our entire belief system seemed to align. Then there were times that just after two dates, I had to have, what I call a “break up conversation” with him, even though we never started a relationship to begin with. Whew, I am worn out just thinking about it all again.

Then there were the guys that just didn’t seem to notice me, he didn’t notice my smile and inner workings of my mind, silently begging him to ask me out. Wait, what? Guys can’t read our minds?! There were a few other “hang out” times, when I hoped I would get a call for another date, but it just didn’t happen. Needless to say, dating just wasn’t my thang, folks.

So enter my idea and here we are. When I was telling my best friend of my idea, she asked me the time frame. I told her, that 30 dates BEFORE turning 30 sounded pretty catchy, which then led me to calculate that I would need about 5 dates in a month. She looked at me and busted out laughing. 2 dates a year to 5 dates a month, I could feel a brand new woman slowly approaching.

Obviously, in order to get 30 dates in less than seven months, I needed to join a dating website. I cannot believe that I have spent the past few years singing the tune, “Where have all the single guys gone?” when quite frankly, I now know they are all on eharmony. I set up an account and arrived home to spend two hours of my night responding to messages. For some reason these past few weeks, I have completely forgotten what GRAD school homework looks like. And this blog sure is not helping with that amnesia. Now would be a great time to mention that I am telling these guys about my little 30 dates plan.

This is part of my profile:

“Okay so here is the deal…By nature I am not a very adventurous person, but since I am turning 30 soon I figured now is the time to try something out of my comfort zone. Some people climb mountains, run marathons or go swimming with the sharks. Me on the other hand, decided I will go on 30 dates before my 30th birthday. I spent my 20s focused on my job and ministry and did not date often. So now is the time. Are you willing to be one of my 30? Or am I crazy?”

So there you have it. 30 dates before 30. It all began with date number 1 this past Saturday. I will share more about these dates the next blog post, cross my fingers, tomorrow, because then I have two more scheduled this weekend and I can’t get behind on updating everyone. Just don’t tell my GRAD school professors. I already have learned quite a bit. About men. About myself. And about dating in general. So more to come on all of that as well.

When I write about my dates, I will just share some details about the date and about what I am learning along the way instead of my inner most feelings and thoughts towards the guy. I want to try my absolute hardest to portray these guys in a positive light. They are so sweet to be willing to take me out, all while knowing that I will be planning different dates, with different guys, for the next 6 months. You may ask, “So how will we know if you meet, Mr. Right?” And basically, what you have to remember is, if that is the case, I will scream it from the rooftops – so don’t you worry.

I will also answer the question, “So what happens if you meet someone you really like on date number, say 7, will you still go out with 23 more guys after that?” However, now is the time to end my very first blog post. I kinda feel like patting myself on the back. I read somewhere, or maybe this is just my own wisdom in my head (sometimes I get those two confused), but after blog posts get to be a certain length, people quit reading. I am neglecting some eharmony mail right now to be writing this, so I can’t afford to have people quit reading. Seriously though, thanks for your curiosity. Thanks for caring. Thanks for your support. It means the world to me and I just began this journey.

30 and counting down. Until tomorrow.