Today at work I checked my phone during a break and this was the text message I received:

“Good Morning Beautiful! Just wanted to wish you happy anniversary! For we have been communicating nearly each of the past 365 days. Crazy eh? Miss you and hope you have a great day.”

September 15, 2014 was the first day that David sent me questions on eharmony. For those of you that know my story, David is Mr. Knows Just What To Say. I figured it was time for me to introduce his first name because honestly it feels weird referring to him as Mr. KJWTS these days.

For those of you new to my story, it all started with a crazy idea of going on 30 dates in a 6 month span before my 30th birthday. If you are new to this blog post, scroll down to the first post and you will get a better understanding of what I’m talking about. I was new to this “dating scene.” I don’t remember going on more than three or four dates with the same individual since my college years (and even in college I never really knew if they were dates or just two friends hanging out) and never in my life had I referred to someone as my boyfriend – never. So this whole “anniversary” thing is new to me to say the least. New to us both really, as David has shared with me that he didn’t often date women longer than three months and his longest relationship was around 7 or 8 months.

We hung out with some of his best friends this past weekend and one of his friends said, “I still think it is odd that a woman is sitting here in your house and she hasn’t gotten up to leave yet!” We certainly make quite a pair as I think my friends and family are also still in shock a bit that I am dating someone.

Getting that text today brought a smile to my face and immediately made me a bit nostalgic thinking back to what all transpired a year ago today. September 15th last year was on a Monday and I had just recently joined eharmony a few days prior on Saturday to see if this crazy idea in my head could turn into a reality. Looking back on it now, I still sit in awe of the whole adventure and know without a doubt that God had His Mighty Hand in it all.

Dating websites don’t work for everyone, I know that. In fact, I had tried it several years prior to last year and I failed miserably at it. But with a new perspective and a new adventurous spirit, this time it worked. I have been an advocate for eharmony lately because of my experience, but I understand that God’s plan for me will not necessarily be the same for someone else. I do know that each person will have a different experience with it. But as I travel down memory lane today, I thought I would let you in on some details with my experience with the man that I have now known for an entire year.

Eharmony starts off with one person initiating the communication by sending 5 multiple choice questions and then after a few rounds back and forth you can ask each other some open ended questions.

Here was an example of a question that David asked me: List 3 general pet peeves that really irritate you and 3 immediate turnoffs that make even an extremely handsome guy completely unattractive.

I remember thinking at the time that he must be a thoughtful and smart man. It may seem silly, but none of the other questions that guys seemed to ask sparked my interest as much as this one. I wanted to reply right away, while many other questions seemed general and original and my responses to the others became generic and mundane.

Here was my response in case you were interested. Ha.

Oh, that is a great question! This took some thought. 3 pet peeves: (1) when someone leaves their blinker on but they are not really going to turn (2) when someone asks me a question, but then doesn’t really pay attention to me when I am answering (they are usually looking past me, seeing who else they should talk to next). (3) When people are more than 15 minutes late and they do not let me know or they don’t really have a good reason. Now for the turnoffs. (1) When guys curse. (2) When guys say racially offensive comments. (3) When a guy is so insecure that it comes across as he is trying to overcompensate and then he just sounds like he is bragging (I am not sure this one will make sense to you – but it is hard to explain).

On these open ended questions, you have a space limit, so you have to type something that catches the other person’s attention in less than 150 words. I can’t quite remember the limit, but I know there was one.

On one question I asked him to tell me a joke because I couldn’t think of something so original as his above question to me. His response to me was shortened as much as he could before he ran out of space.

Here was his response to my joke inquiry.

So a priest, a rabbi, and a blonde woman walk into a bar. Just kidding! Here’s a story that isn’t my original story but rather some advice my favorite college professor shared with us: “I’ve been married over 40 years now, & I gotta tell u that I have learned the secret to a successful & happy marriage. You men should write this down for when u get married one day. See my wife & I have just one rule which is quite simple yet alleviates any drama or fighting. The rule is: She takes care of all the small decisions & I take care of the big decisions. So that means that she makes decisions on all the small stuff that doesn’t really matter like where to go on vacation, how our kids should act, what to spend our money on, who gets to drive what car, where we should buy a house, what furniture to buy, etc. And she let’s me make all the big decisions like should the USA go to war with Afghanistan, who should we vote for President, & whether or not taxes are fair. See it’s a great compromise!

From the beginning, I knew this was a man that I wanted to get to know. Soon after these limited open ended questions, eharmony unleashes you into what they call ehmail. And during this time there is no space or character limits. But don’t worry, I kept my messages under 1000 words. Just kidding – I kept them short but still long enough to show interest, thank you very much.

He emailed me first and made a bachelorette reference since it was written in my profile about the 30 dates idea. So here is an excerpt of my first message back to him.

First off, you are my favorite so far. I am a little overwhelmed by it all. But so far, you are setting yourself apart. I am not the “bachelor show” type quality material either. I would have been kicked off the first week. I just figured that by doing these 30 dates, it would get me into the dating scene a bit. I put so much pressure on myself during the first date, that this was a good way to take it off.  I didn’t really love first dates and therefore would just stay home on my couch and eat ice cream and watch the Bachelorette 🙂 I figured that by telling myself I have 30 dates to go on from the beginning, I can be more open to saying yes and then not feel ridiculously horrible about myself when there isn’t a 2nd date. The people that really know me, cannot believe that I am doing this, since it is so unlike me. However, I have had a lot of good support from my friends and family. And when I first proposed the idea, they all said, “Do it!” Okay, so what do I want to know about you?! Do you like bacon? 

I thought that I might as well get an important question out of the way from the beginning in my reference to asking him about eating bacon. He said yes by the way.

So now that we were on the same page about our breakfast foods, who wouldn’t feel comfortable with meeting this guy? His next email to me brought up that very topic. Which I have come to really appreciate by the way. We were only a couple of messages in, but what were we both waiting for? Might as well meet and see if the chemistry existed beyond a computer screen.

Here is how he asked about the next step.

Here is my question for you: How would you like to proceed? Would you like to continue emailing for awhile? Or move to a phone conversation? Or skip ahead to just meeting in person? I have justifications for each of the above approaches. Sometimes if both parties are comfortable meeting, sooner is better that later, for if there is no chemistry in person then there is no reason to drag it out. But on the other hand it may take time for both parties to become comfortable with each other before meeting. I know my mere words carry little weight on here, but as a man, I would never ask you to compromise your sense of security in any way. Thus, you’re in complete control … I’m just seeking a rose. =] If you ever feel like sending me a text my number is below. And I think your first text should be you simply telling me what your favorite month is. But if you want to stick to email, I completely understand and will continue to look forward to hearing from you! =] David 

That message was on September 17th. The next day we sent over 30 emails back and forth to one another. And the reason I have all of this documented is because after you report to eharmony that you experienced success, they send you a pdf of your whole communication on the site. Pretty cool, huh?! It is very fun to go back and read those messages. We began texting that night and I really think we have sent at least one text every single day since then. So like David said in my text from earlier today – it is crazy, crazy indeed!

Looking back on this past year, I can’t tell you that finally gaining a boyfriend after almost 30 years on this earth has turned all of life’s sadness, pain and frustrations in my life into sunshine and butterflies. A boyfriend won’t do that. A boyfriend can’t do that. A husband can’t either. Being single for so many years, I actually learned that. I learned to not rely on another person to complete me. I was already complete before I even knew David existed. But I will admit that getting to know this man these past 365 days has brought me many smiles, and  yes, even some butterflies in the pit of my stomach. It has brought me many wonderful memories that I will forever cherish. I don’t know what the future has for us. But I do know that if for some reason God calls us apart, I will not be incomplete without him. You can be sure that I will be sad and that many tears will be in store for me, but I will not become a broken person. Understanding who Jesus is at an early age and understanding that I am a child of God has allowed me to find completion in my Savior and my Savior alone. So while I feel that I have actually finally given a little piece of my heart to David because of him being my first real boyfriend and my first kiss, I still know that the future is up to God alone. So when I sometimes face a bit of anxiety knowing that details are unclear in my eyes and that I really don’t know how long we will be in each other’s lives for, I remember that being in God’s hands is the safest place I can be.

And as David and I prayed last Sunday, we want our lives to glorify Jesus, so if we can do that in a relationship together then maybe I will be posting yearly blog updates for years to come. But if God calls us to something else, I will forever be blessed to share this story.

I started writing this evening with the intention of giving you an update on our relationship, but so far all I have done is re-live the past. I guess it is because my life with David is still pretty normal. We both go to work each day, text each other in the evenings, which ends in a good night message and then do it all again the next day. We see each other most weekends, which always ends with both of us dreading the goodbye and an immediate feeling of missing one another the second we drive away.

At the beginning of summer, we both traveled to my hometown and spent 12+ hours in a car with one another followed by another five or so days at my parents’ cottage in Michigan. I remember thinking that this would be a bit of a test for us. Being an only child, I usually like my space. But that didn’t happen with David. Not once did I wish for our time together to be over. At the end of the week, he flew home to get back to work and I stayed with my parents for another week. On the way to the airport, he admitted to me that he felt a bit uneasy. He said, “I am not sure if it is because I am getting ready to leave you or because I am getting ready to get on a plane.” He isn’t the biggest fan of flying. I laughed and thought that was adorable. I told him it was probably because he was about to fly, but secretly hoping that it was because he was going to miss me instead.

When people ask us how long we have been dating, I usually just look at David and wait for an answer. Do we consider our one year dating anniversary to be our first date even though I went on several dates with other guys after that? Do we consider it to be in January since that was when I decided that my last half of the 30 dates were going to be with him? Or do we consider it to be the end of March, when my 30 date adventure was officially over and we declared our exclusivity? I still do not have an answer to that question actually.

But I will admit, reading “Happy Anniversay” this morning felt pretty darn cool.

So Happy Anniversary back to you, Mr. Knows Just What To Say. I am so glad God has brought you into my life. It feels so great to have someone “get me.” Thank you for making dating actually seem easy. You are one of the most servant-hearted people that I know and I feel blessed that you choose to serve me each day that I am with you.

My plan was to write a follow up blog post after the 30 dates ended but it has taken a bit longer than I originally thought. My weekends have still been filled with dates with Mr. Knows Just What To Say. It actually seems a bit foreign to type Mr. KJWTS‘ blog name out again because it has been so long. It is almost like I am resurfacing a fictional character. But then I remember he is not fictional, he is a real person, a person I get to spend most weekends with and a person that I like more than ever. So yes, just in case you were wondering, we are still together 🙂

For so long, the guy “that I was going to date one day” was always just a figment of my imagination, almost like a fictional character in my mind. I imagined it for years – that sometimes I still have to stop and remind myself that this is indeed happening. I am dating… like officially exclusively dating someone.

A little while ago, I was talking to one of my best friends and I was telling her that I feel like I am literally experiencing a miracle by being in a dating relationship. I know that may seem a bit extreme to most of you. But to me, being involved in a dating relationship was such an unrealistic concept, something that happened to everyone else, but not me. So the fact that I end each date liking Mr. KJWTS more and more is a thrilling adventure for me.

I told my friend that liking a man and having him like me back feels like a miracle. The fact that we do not get tired of hanging out with one another each weekend and that we have a hard time saying goodbye is miracle 2 and 3. I realize that I am feeling this way because this is a new relationship. After years of dating or being married, I know there are times where two people do get quite sick of one another. I am sure at times, I may even look forward to having a break from him. But right now, I am experiencing the thrill of the early stages of romance and it’s pretty awesome.

My friend agreed with me about it being a miracle. See, when waiting is involved and when the gift finally does arrive, it does feels like a miracle. Maybe that is why kids love opening Christmas gifts so much. As a kid, Christmas seems to take forever to get here. As an adult, we lose a bit of that magic with opening gifts (or we just don’t get them anymore), because Christmas seems to come around ten times faster than when we were kids.

There is something to that wait.

My mom and some friends experienced what it was like to have to wait to get pregnant. I have heard their stories and have experienced it right along with some of them. The waiting is never fun. Who enjoys the waiting room? Not anyone I have met. But the waiting room exists for a reason; even though we might never understand why and we will certainly have our times of frustration. But if we ignored the waiting room altogether, we would head back to an area that wasn’t ready for us. The doctors would be busy and we would probably just start taking things into our own hands, which can be quite disastrous to say the least.

The waiting room exists for a reason.

All I know is when “it” finally happens, whatever that “it” is – a pregnancy, a boyfriend/girlfriend, a dream job, a specific prayer request etc. – the wait just doesn’t seem as bad anymore. It seems to get lost in the joy of “it” finally happening. For those of you waiting, I know what you are going through. I have had my share time of feeling like I was alone in the wilderness by myself, waiting on something that I wasn’t quite sure would ever come.

So my prayer for you is to remember that “it” is coming, so as hard as it is, just try and take a little nap in the waiting room and trust that God’s timing really is best – it’s not just a cute little cliché to say.

So have I mentioned yet that I just recently finished my 20th date with Mr. KJWTS? I don’t think he thought I was still counting, but this past weekend we were driving to the park and I turned and informed him of the count. He turned to me and gave me a look and a little roll of his eyes. I think his preference would be that we stop counting our dates – but I just can’t help it 😉

I am not going to recap the past 5 dates that have taken place since my last blog post. I told Mr. KJWTS that after date 30, we were going to date a bit more privately these days. Not once did he complain that our story was being shared to hundreds of people. Not once did he act like he was on egg shells, wondering what he could or could not say, in fear of what was going to be written in my post. He supported me and let me do my thang. But now I think I owe it to him, well to us, to date without readers. Although, my goodness, it sure has been fun!

However, before I go, let’s go back to one more date – the date that took place “after the rose.” The date that made me feel like we were an official couple.

I was interviewed by a web based radio show, MOD Love, back at the beginning of my journey. I posted that first interview back in date 11’s post. At the end of that interview, the host of the show, Jodi Riley, said it would be fun to catch up again when I ended my 30 dates. So sometime at the beginning of March, Jodi contacted me again to schedule that follow up interview. Jodi and her co-host, Steven Cardinal, record the show in Charleston and so she offered for me to come to them and do more of a live show instead of a call in. I thought the idea sounded terrific and asked Mr. KJWTS how he felt of coming with me and being part of the show as well. After a bit more explanation to him, he agreed and we set plans to have our first date after the 30 dates in Charleston –  the weekend after my birthday.

During our date 30, we set some plans for our Charleston weekend. Turns out one of Mr. KJWTS‘ best friends was going to be there the same weekend with his wife. They asked if we wanted to get together with them and we agreed. I had met them one other time on my date 25 and was excited to get to spend more time with them.

While Mr. KJWTS was going over the plans with me, hour by hour, I thought to myself how much I appreciated him. I am a planner and like to have things set. Even if they don’t end up happening and things change, I like to have a plan. So while he was in the midst of a sentence that went something like this, “So we are going to leave your house at 10:30 am and we can stop for lunch and then get to Charleston sometime before 1:00 pm and then go to the beach, like you wanted, for about 1.5 hours and then…” I began to smile and thought to myself how much we were alike. Planning our date out by the hour might annoy some people, but I was thankful for it and it made me like him even more. After he was finished, I told him how much I liked his planning.

So at 10:30 am, we loaded into his car and took off towards Charleston. During our drive there, we recapped our date 30. So of course our first kiss was brought up and he actually admitted to me that he had downloaded some songs in preparation for our first kiss. He told me he didn’t get a chance to play them on our date 30, but asked if I wanted to listen to them now.

Uhh, yes, of course I did.

He turned to me with an embarrassed look and said, “Kinda, cheesy, I know.” But I thought it was adorable. So our “first kiss” playlist, that I had just found out existed, began to play. Some of the songs included Just A Kiss by Lady Antebellum and Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not by Thompson Square. That was so cute of him to plan that in anticipation of our first kiss. He told me that some of his friends were giving him a hard time about all of the thought he was putting in towards our kiss, but that his response to them was, “This is her first kiss, it has to be special.”

After stopping for lunch, we went to the beach. Because of the difficulty of finding parking and the fact that It was a bit windy, we only stayed for about an hour. Shortly after the beach we met up with the other couple and went on a carriage ride and then out to dinner.

The next day was our radio interview. As we were driving to record the show, Mr. KJWTS admitted he was a bit nervous. He looks so cute when he is nervous and I got a quick flashback to our first date. I told him he had nothing to worry about and that I would do most of the talking. He said he preferred it that way. Afterwards, he told me that it wasn’t as bad as he thought. He did great. I, on the other hand, wish I could go back and change some of the things I said. But oh well.

In case you missed the live show that aired about a month ago and are interested in listening, you can get to their shows from their website at http://www.modloveradio.com/episodes.html. The direct link to the show we were on is: http://hwcdn.libsyn.com/p/1/0/7/10712d78778b8a24/20150409_-_MOD_Love_-_30_Dates_Before_30_-_A_Reflection.mp3?c_id=8746328&expiration=1428724493&hwt=468cd5e771c629b643fec3a80663e015.

Our part picks up around minute 24.

After our interview, we met back up with his friends and now my friends too. They have accepted me very well and I appreciate that. We are actually going camping with them this coming weekend for our date 21…maybe I’ll stop counting when we hit the 30s….maybe.

We ate lunch with them and then spent the rest of the day walking around downtown Charleston. Walking down the street, with my hand in Mr. KJWTS‘ hand, on a beautiful day in a beautiful city, I felt so very happy. I don’t ever remember walking hand in hand with a man before and this is when I felt like an official couple. The kisses in between each event (when we were by ourselves and no one was looking of course), didn’t hurt either.

After a few hours of walking in and out of stores, getting some ice cream and enjoying the sunshine, we headed back home. Mr. KJWTS dropped me off at my house and then headed back home himself. I immediately began anticipating our date 17 and he later texted me a countdown of how many hours we had left until we could see each other again.

A part of me still wishes I could share every experience with those that read this blog. I am so appreciative of each person that has come up to me inquiring if we are still together and telling me they want an update. It warms my heart to have taken you along on this journey. I say this a lot, but every little comment, post and message means so much. Thank you for your excitement, encouragement and words along the way. Getting to share this part of my life with you has been so rewarding for me and I will never forget the 6 months leading up to my 30th birthday, especially because now I have way over 30,000 documented words from it. How many words does it take to write a book anyway?!

As I get ready to officially end my “30 dates before 30” blog, I wanted to share with you a picture from my birthday. It is a picture of the cake my parents ordered for me.

It was made by such a sweet woman – Ava Maria of For Goodness Cakes by Ava. I feel honored by how much hard work she put into making this cake, which represented my life. The cake entailed three volumes.

You can check her out on facebook – https://www.facebook.com/pages/For-Goodness-Cakes-by-Ava-Lexington-SC/706213239431437?sk=timeline.

The first volume of my life is when I entered this world; for my parents gave me my name because of its meaning of “God’s Promise.” Then there is volume 29 when I decided to do a crazy thing and attempt “Thirty dates before thirty.” Both volumes have come and gone, and both volumes were very enjoyable to live out (and to eat). However, volume 30 has just begun. Volume 30 which has been named “The Best is Yet to Come,” seems like an appropriate title. I truly do believe this – not because I deserve the best, and not because I am someone special, but because I serve a pretty special God.

As I say goodbye for now and begin living out this part of my journey, please do not forget that what God is doing in my life, He can also do in yours. Let’s trust the only One who can give us immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine.

Together, let’s believe…the best is yet to come!

My 30th date took place the day of my 30th birthday, which was at the end of March. I just have not had a few hours to myself since last posting about my date 29 because of a busy schedule and traveling. Sorry for the delay. But thanks for staying interested and following me to the end 🙂

I woke up on the day of my birthday feeling beyond blessed. I went into this journey dreading turning 30, but along the way I came to embrace it. There was a bit of anticipation going into this date, knowing it was my final date, but I had been looking forward to it for quite some time.

The morning of my birthday, I woke up to another sweet note from my best friend on the refrigerator and 30 Hershey’s Candy bars on my kitchen table.

Ready or not, I was turning 30 years old. What a beautiful road I traveled leading up to it all.

About a month ago I was in a cute little boutique in the town I live in and met the owners. After telling them about my 30 dates journey, they became excited for my date 30 as well – so much so – that they offered to dress me for the occasion! So about a week prior to my birthday, I spent one evening trying on many different outfits in their store. Everything that the store owners picked out for me to try on, I absolutely loved! I had to stop myself from buying several outfits and stay disciplined to choose just one to wear for my date 30. Because of the constant change of weather, I could not bank on a warm day at the end of March. Therefore I decided to set aside the sleeveless dresses and tops and focus on some tops with sleeves. After much debate and help from my mom and the owners, I decided on a beautiful light tan crochet-fringed top. I knew this top would very easily rank as my new favorite item in my closet. The owners accessorized it with an adorable white watch with a pop of color and a long key shaped necklace. After all, I would be wearing this outfit with Mr. Knows Just What To Say and he was beginning to enter into parts of my heart that have been locked up for over a decade, a key necklace seemed quite fitting for this special final date.

The great thing about this boutique is that they travel and you can also purchase their clothes online. They are beginning their traveling season now. To find out more information about them and the traveling boutique, along with their fashionable clothes for women of all ages, view their website at http://www.shopgypsychic.com. They even featured my 30 dates journey in one of their blog posts! I could not be more grateful to them for giving me such a fun evening of trying on clothes and then getting to take home my favorite items.

Here are a few pictures of the outfit I wore given to me from Gypsy Chic along with the birthday balloons from my best friend.

Mr. Knows Just What To Say (I call him my favorite, but we all knew that after the second date with him, I am sure) arrived to my house shortly after I got ready for the day. The 2 of us, plus my best friend and Nathan (see date 29 blog post), drove over to my parents house for brunch. I spent the morning around the table filled with some of my favorite people.

After brunch, I was told to head downstairs. Mr. KJWTS and I walked down first. After getting downstairs in my parents basement, I noticed his gift to me right away – it was a hammock swing! He had it delivered to my parents’ house a few days prior. Mr. KJWTS knew my love for swings, for I had mentioned it to him on a date prior that I always wanted a hammock. So as to not take up the entire space on my back porch, he got the idea of a hammock swing and I absolutely loved it!

I hugged him and told him thank you and that it was a perfect gift for me. Shortly after, my parents came downstairs and directed me to their garage area where I received another gift too large to be wrapped. It was a beautiful credenza that perfectly matched my living room furniture, specifically bought to hold all of the Precious Moments figurines that my grandma left to me.

It was exactly what I needed.

After we all said our goodbyes at my parents house, the four of us piled back in Mr. KJWTS’ car and went back to my house. Nathan was going to leave shortly, so we spent his last few minutes talking in my living room.

During that time, I began trying to take some pictures of the accessories I wore with my outfit that day, but was having a hard time doing so.

As I was finagling my phone to get the perfect angle of my wrist, Mr. KJWTS noticed I was having some trouble and immediately came to my side to take over. He positioned my wrist for the picture and took several pictures, making sure he got my approval after each one.

I thought it was endearing and I remember looking at him while he was so intently focused on taking the pictures, thinking how blessed I was to meet such a caring man. He had a way of taking care of me, even when I didn’t really realize I needed taken care of.

While we were finishing up taking the pictures, Nathan noticed some bugs in my house. As he pointed them out, my best friend and I shrieked and Mr. KJWTS got up and immediately took on the role as bug terminator. I gladly let him. After Nathan left, my best friend graciously volunteered to clean up any bug spray remains and told Mr. KJWTS we should go start our date.

So we did just that. He told me that I might want to grab a jacket, because although it was a lovely sunny day, it was still a bit chilly. I grabbed a coat from the closet and began to try and unzip the attached hood that I didn’t need for our outing. Mr. KJWTS again sensed my struggle and came over to help me. As he did that, I felt the familiar sense of appreciation and I turned to him and said, “You just did three things in the last hour that has made me like you more.” He looked at my questioningly and I explained to him what I meant. Photographing my accessories, killing bugs and taking off the hood of my coat, may seem like trivial things, but they showed his servant heart and that is not necessarily common in all men. I wanted him to know that I noticed and even more so, that I appreciated it. And while I know that I put way more detail into these blog posts, than most people need, I felt that including those acts really encapsulated some of the many reasons that I am falling for this guy.

As we were driving, he asked if I knew where we were going. I had an idea, but I kept it to myself, just in case I was wrong. Surprisingly, I was right. He took us to the same river walk that we went to at the end of our first date back in September. We started our time there sitting on the same concrete steps overlooking the river. It was fun to think back to our first date, when we barely even knew each other and how far we have come since then. I guess 15 dates will do that to ya.

15 dates.

I would never have imagined on my date 3, that I would spend exactly half of my 30 dates with this man. But I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

As we were sitting on a bench overlooking the river, I began to think that 30 isn’t so bad after all. Although, I still had about one more hour of being 29. My mom had mentioned at brunch that my exact birth time was at 3:42 pm, so there I sat with one more hour to enjoy being in my 20s.

After we left the riverwalk, we went back to my house and had a bit of time to spare before we had to start getting ready for part two of our date. As we were passing the time, Mr. KJWTS began to rub my shoulders a bit and then turned to me and leaned in. He has gotten pretty close to my face before and has kissed me on my cheeks more times than I can count. But I knew something was different and I closed my eyes before I could really register my thoughts.

And then it happened.

The kiss.

I was expecting it, but then again I wasn’t. I had spent years wondering what my first kiss would be like, but in all honesty, I could never quite picture it happening. So it didn’t matter that I was sort of expecting a kiss on our date 30, it was still an enchanting and special moment for me. To be honest, and this might sound cliché, but I almost felt like it wasn’t me – I felt like the real me was just watching this fairy tale being played out as an amazing man was gently kissing a girl that he had wanted to for so many months. In some ways it was even better than a fairy tale, for this was real life…and it was my life! How crazy is that!!

Now going back to the kiss, I was a bit surprised that I was not nervous. That is one of the reasons I like him so much. He makes me feel so very comfortable.

After he kissed me, he whispered, “Thanks for letting me be the first to do that.” I told him, “I am sorry that I have not had much practice.” He smiled and said, “I would never have known” and then I think he kissed me again, but I can’t be totally sure. Honestly, it is all kind of a blur now. But a wonderful blur at that.

Later on, Mr. KJWTS pointed out that he thought our first kiss happened right around the time of my actual birthday time of 3:42. We can’t be sure, but we knew it happened between 3:30 and 4:15. I thought it was so cute that he remembered the actual time that my mom had mentioned earlier in the day. He said that he had not planned for that; for it was just a moment he could no longer pass. And it was exactly what I wanted.

I wanted my first kiss to be at a time when I was sure that I was ready, when I felt totally comfortable. I wanted my first kiss to be with a man I trusted to hold a little piece of my heart. It wasn’t because I felt it was something I needed to do or because I thought I owed it to him. I didn’t feel forced or rushed. It wasn’t because it was after a certain amount of dates or because it was just the thing to do during a goodbye. It happened because we both care for one another very much and were both willing to wait until the right time. And I can promise you this much, neither one of us regret waiting. For this was a very special moment for us at the most perfect time.

Sometime after 4, I walked myself to my bedroom to begin getting ready for dinner. He told me to dress up and I gladly obliged. I enjoy dressing up and it is even better to do so for a man that has caught my interest. When I walked out of my room in a dress with newly applied make-up and curled hair, I was surprised that he came out in a suit. He said that was my next surprise and I told him he looked great.

He took me to a very nice restaurant that is known for their steaks. He knew that a good steak is one of my favorite foods, however, I had never been to this particular restaurant before. I had always wanted to go, but never did because of the price. The food was delicious, the atmosphere was beautiful and as we sat there I figured we were somewhere close to cloud nine.

While we were driving home, at a stop light, Mr. KJWTS turned to me and pulled me close to him. I am used to him doing this and just like times in the past, I leaned the side of my face towards him. Normally he would kiss my temple or my cheek, however, this time, with a smile and a twinkle in his eye, he said to me, “I don’t get your lips?”

Somewhat blushing I replied, “Oh yeah, I forgot we kiss now.”  I laughed and told him that I still had a lot to learn.

Then at the next stop light, he turned to me and said, “Let’s try this again.” Smooth move Mr. KJWTS – smooth move. He pulled over to get gas and before getting out, turned to me and said, “You don’t know how many times I wanted to kiss you at dinner.” Before I could respond, he smiled again and stepped out of his car.

When we got home, I told him I wanted to tell him something and I walked over to him and he took my hands in his. I told him that even though he already knew that he was my favorite, I wanted him to know that I was choosing him without a doubt. And as a symbolism, I turned around and grabbed a rose boutonniere from my table and asked him, “Would you accept this rose?” He laughed and said yes. I then pinned it on him.

So because of this being my 30th date and because I made you wait so long for this post, I figured I would include a picture of us.

Here he is, my friends. Here is my favorite guy, here is Mr. Knows Just What To Say.

I had such a great birthday. I had such a great final 30th date.

Before I went to bed that night, I pulled out the birthday card that Mr. KJWTS had given me at brunch earlier that morning and re-read it a couple of times. His note written inside said the following:

Thirty is an age that signifies maturity and often the beginning of a new life. Jesus, John the Baptist, Joseph and King David all began their God-appointed callings at age 30. I’m not saying you’re going to change careers, but I do know God has prepared you for this moment in time to do something great, and we are all waiting anxiously to see how God uses you from here!

What a beautiful journey this has been with you. It was nothing less than an honor and blessing to be your 3rd and 30th dates…and 13 other dates in between. I have loved watching you grow and learn through all our time together. And I’m looking forward to our many “un-numbered” dates ahead.

Happy 30th Birthday!

Love, Your Favorite (Mr. Knows Just What To Say)

“Same to you Mr. KJWTS, same to you.” I cannot wait for our many “un-numbered” dates as well.

And there you have it, the closing of a chapter to a beautiful story titled, “30 dates before 30.”  It ended up being an exciting story, even for me. But the journey is not ending, in fact, in many ways it is just the beginning.

0 dates and counting up.

It was the beginning of March on a weekday when Mr. Knows Just What To Say texted me out of the blue and asked if I had girls’ club after school on March 27th. I lead a club every other Friday after school for middle school girls. We discuss things such as healthy relationships, self-esteem, modesty and just all around teen girl issues. I responded with the fact that I did and was inquiring why he wanted to know. He asked if I would be able to move it to a different Friday or if a co-worker could cover for me and then proceeded to ask if I could take off work that day too. He said something along the lines of “planning something for my birthday.” As soon as I saw that, a smile crept to my face and I was very impressed that he was already thinking of my birthday, almost a month ahead of time.

After a day to think about it, I asked one of my co-workers to cover girls’ club, but I told him it probably wouldn’t be wise for me to take off work. “Can’t we do whatever you are planning on Saturday instead of Friday?” I asked him. “Not really,” he replied. So after another couple of days went by, he was successful in convincing me to take off work.

The weekend prior to my birthday weekend, on my date 28, I asked Mr. KJWTS, what time he was coming to my house on Friday. He looked at me and then hesitantly said 5:00 and that he wished it was sooner, but something came up. In my head, I was confused about why I was still taking off work and he probably knew that, so he added on, “The real reason I wanted you to take off work is so that you had a chance to sleep in, because it is probably going to be a late night on Friday.” I understood and thought to myself, “This guy really knows me.” No matter what he had planned, if I worked that day and our night went past 9:00 pm, I probably wouldn’t enjoy it as much because I would be so tired. I didn’t ask anymore questions because I didn’t want to ruin his surprise, but I spent the majority of that week wondering what he would have planned on a Friday night where we would be up so late.

When Friday finally got here, it was really wonderful to be able to sleep in and I considered this a great start to my birthday weekend. I walked out of my room and saw a note on the fridge in my best friend’s handwriting.

I was a little scared walking into that closet, imagining Mr. KJWTS himself popping out of there. I told my dog to go ahead of me, so she could check for me and warn me if I needed to go put on some make-up first. As I slowly rounded the corner, I realized that there were 30 balloons in the closet!

That was the surprise from my best friend, but I then realized it was going to a long day, if I was on such edge like this. I also decided that I better just get in the shower and get ready for the day, so I would be ready in case Mr. KJWTS did show up earlier than his pronounced 5:00 time from the previous weekend.

Around noon, Mr. KJWTS texted me and told me that he hoped I had slept in and that he would give me further information in about an hour. I made some lunch for myself and began watching a bit of TV before doing my hair.

Then my parents came over.

My mom walked in with a slight smirk on her face and said, “Okay, so we have to tell you something.”

“Tell me what?” I thought to myself. How did they know about Mr. KJWTS‘ surprise for me?”

My mom began telling me her whole plan (see previous blog post) and all I could think about was the fact that Mr. KJWTS did not really have a surprise for me tonight after all. I let that sink in and while trying to push past the disappointment, I began actually listening to her again. That was when she was saying that Nathan had missed his flight, but surprisingly found another one. He later told me that in order to get another flight, he had to tell the lady at the counter my whole 30 dates story and how he was planning to be my date 29. She thought it was an awesome story and said that she wouldn’t have tried so hard to find another flight if it weren’t for all of the background information he gave her. I thought that was cute. However, now Nathan wouldn’t get here until 7:30 instead of the originally planned 5.

Nathan was flying in from California just for my birthday. I began to get really excited. I felt honored and so very special. I remembered calling him at the beginning of my 30 dates back in August to get a male perspective and he told me it sounded like a great idea and he thought it would really push me past my comfort zone. Then he mentioned that he wanted to be one of my 30 dates. I had laughed at the time, thinking that would not be possible. But now, it was – Nathan would be my date 29!

My parents didn’t want to to tell me, but because of Nathan getting in later than expected, they realized they had no choice. My dad said that it would not be a good idea to make me wait from 5:00 until 7:30, waiting on – who I thought – was Mr. KJWTS. I don’t think I would have been a happy camper, if Mr. KJWTS texted me and changed it to 7:30 after taking the whole day off. My mom explained that Mr. KJWTS would come in the following day and then take me out on date 30 for my actual birthday on Sunday.

I was going to have my 30th date on my actual 30th birthday, things could not have fallen together more perfectly. Then I realized, they didn’t just “fall together,” God planned it exactly like it was happening. God, the Creator of the Universe, actually cared about me and my 30 dates. I believed that with my whole heart.

It was so good to see Nathan when he finally arrived a bit after 7:30. It has been a couple of years since we have gotten to see each other. Nathan was one of my best guy friends in high school and still is to this day. He has been such a constant encouragement in my life and even when we go months without talking, a phone conversation with him is always easy. We seem to always just pick right back up where we left off. That is a sign of a great friendship. When I lost my grandmother back in August, I went through a very sad time in my life. One night, I couldn’t stop crying and I almost felt like I was having a panic attack. It was around midnight, so I thought I would just have to get through it by myself, and I was not doing such a good job. Soon Nathan came to mind and I texted him and asked what he was doing. I don’t know what he was doing, but I do know that whatever it was, he stopped and immediately called me. He listened to me cry, he helped get my breathing back on track and then he proceeded to listen and talk with me late into the night, until I was calm enough to fall asleep. What a treasure Nathan’s friendship is to me.

Even though Nathan and I might have had some kind of feelings for each other back when we were in high school, I just always found it so much better to be friends with guys. Relationships in high school cause drama, heart break and many times lead to temptations that two high schoolers just are not ready for. I avoided the dating scene and preferred to develop deep friendships instead. That way, there was never a break up, never a heart broken and we could remain friends for many years, without any awkward instances of running into one another. I didn’t date, but I was not lonely. I credit that to the awesome guys that God allowed to enter into my life during my high school and college days. I don’t think I experienced true loneliness until I moved away from my home town, away from my high school and college friends and realized how much more difficult it was to make friends when you became an adult.

So, needless to say, Nathan’s friendship is something I don’t take for granted and I opened the door with a huge smile, excited to be able to spend my date 29 with him.

After he changed his clothes from traveling, we headed out to eat, although I didn’t know where we were going. He had it planned. When we pulled up to the restaurant, I immediately knew where we were and I told him that this was one of my favorite restaurants and he said, “Yeah, I know, I got some help.”

When we entered the restaurant, we had to go up a flight of stairs and he told me he would stand behind me in case I fell, I was wearing heels after all. That was cute of him to even think about that. After we were seated, he asked what I was drinking and I told him that I usually am fine with just water. “I can’t drink by myself,” he said. I am not a fan of wine, but I have tasted champagne and I liked that a lot better, so that is what I told him. He said he was going to order a bottle of moscato, since that would be sweet. I said that sounded good, but then inquired about the price. “Don’t worry about that,” he said almost immediately, “It doesn’t matter.”

We spent the rest of the meal catching up. Of course, there was a lot of talk in there about my 30 dates and Mr. KJWTS. Nathan was going to get the chance to meet Mr. KJWTS the following day, so I was looking forward to introducing them both to each other. After dinner, we even shared a dessert, which is a rarity for me because usually I am so full from my meal. But this was the start to my birthday weekend, Nathan told me, so why not squeeze a bit of dessert in there.

One of the things that I love about Nathan is that he makes me laugh. A lot. Actually he makes most people laugh. And he has this knack of making you feel so very comfortable in his presence. So much so, that we usually like to sing at the top of our lungs together in the car. I videotaped of course. Here are some screen shots of this lovely time.

When we got home, we talked for about another hour before heading to bed. During that time, I told him we should have gotten a picture together at the restaurant. It slipped my mind while we were there. “So let’s get one now,” I suggested. “Good idea,” Nathan said, “Because this is probably the best I will look all weekend anyway.”

So here we are around midnight, I was still bright eyed and bushy tailed because of the fact I got to sleep in that day. Okay, not really, I was fading fast by midnight, but at least I had stayed up to see midnight.

What a fun night. And the fun was just beginning, this was just the start to my birthday weekend. I was told that Mr. KJWTS would be arriving the next day around noon.

So here we are… 1 date…1 date! (ahhh, can you believe it?!)… and counting down.

Date 29 has some back story to it and a lot of it had to do with my own mother’s planning. Therefore, I asked her if she would be willing to write an introduction to my date 29 blog post. However, you will soon find out where I got the gene of “writing with probably way too much detail” from. I asked her to write a little “intro” and it turned in to a blog post in and of itself.

So here you are, a word…or words from my dear mom.

It is Sunday, March 29^th when I am writing this, and my heart is still warm from all of the activities that have taken place the past 24 hours as we celebrated my daughter’s 30^th birthday. But before I jump the gun too much I need to go back a little when all the planning for this weekend began. I believe it was somewhere the end of January when I began envisioning what I wanted for her upcoming birthday. She was turning 30 and it was a big milestone; I wanted it to be an extra special celebration. So, mom put on her thinking cap and tried to come up with a good solid plan that would guarantee this.  

First of all, my daughter and I are quite opposites.   I am an extrovert while she is an introvert. While my theme song for life leans toward “Let’s get the party started!”, hers would be a little more subdued like “Girls just want to have fun”. We both like to have a good time, but a good time for the two of us can be quite different. While I think more in terms as the more the merrier, she considers quality over quantity. Therefore, while others like me would go for the big blow-up party for their 30^th birthday, I knew that would not fit for who she is. My husband and I did have the big surprise parties for her in the past while she was growing up, but things are different nowadays. She is more reserved now as an adult and tends to find more joy with the simple things in life, than the extravagant things.   I thought a small intimate party would be perfect, so I began thinking of who I could invite to this simple get-together in honor of her upcoming birthday.  

Every time someone came to my mind there was a stumbling block that I knew would prevent them from coming to a party for her. For instance, one of her close friend’s was having surgery a few days before her birthday, so she could not come. Another friend of hers is now living overseas where she is on an adventure of a lifetime with her husband; she certainly could not entertain the idea of dropping by. Then there is her friend in Texas, along with her many close friends in our hometown—all of them with husbands and kiddos and living lives so far away from where we live now. Then I got an “aha” moment. You know those moments when something pops in your head and you wonder, “where did that come from?’ Well, that is exactly what I thought when a close single male friend of hers came to my mind. But there was a huge problem that could also prevent him from coming—he lived more than 2700 miles away.  

Nathan had moved to California over 5 years ago but somehow he and my daughter have always stayed in touch. I thought it was crazy that Nathan came to my mind, but I have thought of crazier things then that; so I decided to move forward with the thought of seeing if Nathan by some chance could come to help us celebrate our daughter’s special birthday.

I picked up my cell phone one night and decided to call him, even though I was not sure if I still had the right number. Then I heard his voicemail:   “Hey this is Nate, leave me a message.” Just hearing his voice made me smile.  There is something about this kid that just makes me laugh. I don’t know why, he just does. I then began to leave a message which probably sounded absolutely ridiculous to him. This is what I said:  “Hey Nate, this is Mrs. C (a name that he has called me since the first time we met) and I had to call you to ask you a HUGE favor. I want to have a small intimate party for my daughter’s 30th birthday and I cannot help but think of the friendship that you and her hold and how much it would mean to her if you were there. So, I know this is a lot to ask of you, but please Nathan pray about it before you respond to my invitation. Okay, nice to hear your voice and let me know what you are thinking after you have prayed.”

Now let me tell you a little about Nathan. He and my daughter met when she was 16 and he was 17 when they both were involved in our church’s youth group. Even though they were a part of this youth group for a while, it was not until both of them attended an out-of-town event where they first noticed one another. My daughter came home from that event with a report that she had just met a very cute guy. Nathan in hand told his mother that he had just encountered a very HOT girl. Thus, the relationship between a very cute guy and very hot girl began.

I have to be honest with you; I really thought these two were going to end up dating at one point. In fact, I wanted to see that happen.   I loved Nathan and loved his parents. Since all of us attended the same church I thought it would be an ideal situation. They began hanging out together more and more and they even went to Nathan’s senior prom as a couple. But their fledging relationship never blossomed beyond friendship. I was saddened about it at the time, but now I understand that my daughter’s heart was not ready for a boyfriend.

Years later, I have to say that I am glad that they never became boyfriend and girlfriend because statistics prove that once you date someone and then you break up, you have a very hard time ending up being friends. Their potential dating could have jeopardized the awesome and amazing friendship that they now hold. God brought them together to be forever friends, and not fleeting foes. It truly is amazing to have watched their friendship grow over the years. 

Here is a picture of them shortly after he moved to California.

Nathan has had a few serious relationships over the years, while as we all know now, my daughter has had none. But that did not keep Nathan from confiding in her about his dating experiences. He seemed comfortable sharing his many thoughts, and sometimes he would turn to her for advice. Because of this kind of friendship that they share, Nathan was one of the first people my daughter went to for an opinion about her “30 dates before 30” idea. She wanted to get a male’s perspective. Nathan encouraged her to go for it, and then he added, “I would love to be one of your dates.” I was not aware of this conversation until Nathan and I recently talked. That is when we decided if he could come, he would have to be date #29!

Then, one afternoon I got a text from Nathan and he said he was coming! His plan was to arrive on Friday morning and leave on Sunday afternoon.   This timetable would allow them to have a date on Friday, and then we could have her party on Saturday. That way, she and Mr. KJWTS could have the final 30th date on her actual birthday.   We also decided to keep Nathan’s potential visit a secret, and let her be surprised by her friend’s generous gesture to fly out for her birthday celebration.  It was very exciting how everything was coming together. But wait…there was someone else I had to check in with. That someone else was none other than Mr. KJWTS!

Since Mr. KJWTS has been moving in on my daughter’s heart I knew that he needed to play a key role in how we observed her birthday. I needed to fill him in on everything, especially since there would be another date involved that would not be with him. It was crucial for me to talk to him.  

Luckily I had been given his phone number in case of emergency. Her phone went dead one time while they were together, so I mentioned it would be good to have his number as a backup. She obliged, so I added Mr. KJWTS to my contacts that day.  

I don’t remember what day it was when I first texted Mr. KJWTS, but I remember feeling a little nervous as I typed out: Hey Mr. KJWTS (I really used his real name), this is my daughter’s (I really used her real name) mom and she gave me your number in case of an emergency. I want to let you know that there is no emergency, but I need to speak to you about her birthday. Can you call me today at your convenience?

Mr. KJWTS then proceeded to call me later that afternoon. Now let me explain something here just so you can understand my heart as a mother of a daughter who has not dated much.  This felt really weird to me that I had to check in with a man about plans regarding my daughter. I mean really really weird. Not because I was talking to a guy who was interested in my daughter, but because I had to somehow make sure that he was all right with the plans that I came up with. For after all, I never felt like I had to do this with any guy in the past; for up to this point there was never anyone as close as this fellow has gotten. I knew that her heart was growing fonder of him, so I did not want to do anything that could jeopardize that.  

When Mr. KJWTS called me, he sounded so pleasant and sweet. I thanked him for calling me, and then proceeded to lay out the plans that I had. Instantly, he came on board with everything. He then gave me some information that I did not originally have, which was that my daughter would be getting home quite late from work the Friday that Nathan was to arrive. He said, “Let me handle this, and see if I can talk her into taking the entire day off.” Wow, was I impressed! He not only was all right with the whole idea of Nathan being one of her dates, but he wanted to help see it happen. I thought to myself, “This guy is really something!” I knew I liked Mr. KJWTS before this conversation, but hearing how selfless he was added to the way I felt about him. Now, I not only liked the man, but he just gained a whole new respect from me. We were on our way to make sure that she had the best birthday celebration ever.

Then on Friday morning at 2:38 am, the day all of the festivities were to begin, I was suddenly awoken by the sound of a text coming in. I picked up my phone that was lying on my night stand next to me and tried to read the text through my half awakened eyes. Here is what it said: “Hey Mrs. C. this is Nathan! Bad news. I missed my flight. Will keep you posted!”

Unbeknownst to my daughter her date #29 was now hanging in the air!

He Likes Me. He Likes Me Not.

At the end of Date 27, Mr. Knows Just What To Say and I decided that we wouldn’t see each other that next weekend. Okay, well, he decided that. I didn’t have any plans, but he did. We had already had several dates back to back each weekend, so it was probably time for a “break” anyway. However, for some unknown reason during that next week, something changed in me a bit. I became a bit of the insecure girl in a relationship and I didn’t like it one bit. I didn’t recognize that girl. My freak out meter re-appeared for the first time in 2015 but in a way that I wasn’t familiar with. I started having these feelings of uncertainty of how Mr. KJWTS felt about me. I am not sure where it came from, maybe it had to do with the fact that we had spent almost every weekend together for an entire month and now a weekend would pass without seeing him. Maybe it was because his weeks were busy and he would text later and later then when we first met. And in my head we didn’t seem to be able to sustain a conversation for very long through texting anymore – although I do blame myself for that one because I was pretty much ready for bed by 9:30 every night cough cough, okay, 9.

I wasn’t sure how to handle these feelings of doubt within me. I pride myself on being a good communicator, but I didn’t want to come across as the needy girl and come right out and ask him what he was presently feeling towards me. Were his feelings growing stronger? Or were they weakening? That lack of knowing, was the root of my insecurity. He wasn’t doing anything wrong and I can almost guarantee you that he didn’t feel any change. Even though I knew that, there was still a longing in me to have him say that he liked me still. He hadn’t acted any differently on date 27 and even though we haven’t officially kissed, his physical touch was still often and consistent with grabbing my hand, touching my knee in the car, kissing my forehead and cheeks and things like that. So I wasn’t feeling this way because of the absence of physical touch. But then as I was thinking about it (which is probably the problem right there, I was dwelling too much on it), I thought back to my love language of words of affirmation.

I feel loved by hearing words and I began to try and remember when the last time was that he told me that he liked me.

I know you are thinking I am crazy, because looking back on all my dates with Mr. KJWTS, it seems evident that he likes me. He brought me cheese on date 26 for goodness sakes.

But I had to ask.

Well in a way that a girl would ask, I guess. A round about way.

Mid-week, after a lull in our texting conversation, I asked him if I had done anything to cause any unsettling feelings for him. I thought maybe I hadn’t been supportive enough during his bad days at work or maybe I didn’t text him first enough. Or maybe he was tired of seeing me so many weekends in a row. And now typing those things, I feel foolish, I doubt he thought any of those things. I realize girls think too much and make things up in their head, that the guy has no idea is going on.

His response was “No, you haven’t done anything to change the way I feel about you. I am still excited to get to know you better, spend more time growing together and having new experiences together. Each day I spend with you, makes me want to spend another 10 with you. I really love this process of getting to know you.”

Cute, huh?

Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that then. My freak out meter was just a bit too high causing me to not see reality. So I interpreted it as “Well, I am not sure I like you yet, so I want to get to know you a bit more and see.”

I couldn’t tell him that though, then I would really seem like I had gone off the deep end or something. I think I texted him back and said, “Sorry for making you explain yourself, I am not sure what my deal is.” He told me I probably just missed him and then later told me I should probably just go to bed and stop thinking so much. I agreed, typed out a small goodnight message, and did just that.

The next morning, on the way to work, I began to wonder if maybe I was starting to like him more than he liked me. Back when we first started going out on dates, I couldn’t really explain my feelings to him because I was a still a bit unsure of them. I remembered him saying that it was probably good that he was a bit “ahead,” so he could lead me. But I began to wonder, was he still ahead? I began imagining the possibility of him not really liking me anymore and my heart hurting because I had finally found a guy that I wanted to date. So should I “back away?” Or was this just all in my head and backing away would only cause confusion? I have a feeling that many fights in relationships just might have to do with the woman making things up in her head and assuming that the man should know what is going on.

I immediately knew that I needed to stop talking to myself in my head and begin talking to my Heavenly Father. I prayed that my anxious mind would settle down and that I would stop believing any lies that were being thrown around in my head. I asked Got to lead me, so that I could be in this relationship in the healthiest way possible – knowing when to communicate and when to keep my mouth shut. I then slipped in one of my favorite worship CDs and soon the song It Is Well began to fill my car, filling my heart and soul soon after.

The lyrics begin like this:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,

It is well, it is well with my soul.

I knew that I was making up a sorrowful situation and that I wasn’t even in that situation yet, but as I listened to those lyrics, I knew that it didn’t matter what happened. If Mr. KJWTS eventually told me he wasn’t “feeling” it anymore, I could move on.

It would be well with my soul.

And the reason I believe that, is because I have devoted our relationship to the Lord from the very first date that we went on. If things don’t work out with Mr. KJWTS and me, it will be because God’s plan was for it to not work out. As long as we keep seeking God first, there is nothing I can do, nothing Mr. KJWTS can do, to stop God’s plan for our lives – whether that means we are to be together or we are to be apart.

After that morning in my car, after I played that song about 5 times, I felt peace surround me and have not had those anxious feelings since. It was okay to like a man, it was okay to slowly start opening up my heart to him, but it was not okay to keep imagining the worst and to let the things he said and the things he didn’t say dictate my emotions so much so that I became anxious about it.

With my new emotional balance I spent the weekend relaxing, hanging out with my dad and getting some things done that I had been putting off. It was a good weekend, even with no date.

After another week went by, it was time for the weekend again and it was now Date 28, the 14th date with Mr. KJWTS. On Saturday, I showered soon after getting up, put on some comfortable clothes and just a tiny bit of make-up and was ready to start my day with him. It was a beautiful day outside and so we started our date sitting outside on my swing. From there, we decided to make a trip to the lake. We bought some boiled peanuts beforehand and Mr. KJWTS grabbed some towels from his car. We spent the next hour sitting on the towels, eating boiled peanuts and looking out at the glistening lake in gorgeous 80 degree weather.

It was a good day.

Afterwards the plan was to head back to my house to get ready for dinner. We were meeting one of my best friends and her husband at a restaurant to celebrate my birthday a bit early. I am one of those people that like to celebrate my birthday a whole month long.

After curling my hair, applying my make-up and changing into a black sundress, I walked out of my bedroom and Mr. KJWTS came over to give me a hug and kiss the side of my face, telling me that I looked stunning.

We left shortly after to meet up with my friends, Kristie and Nick, at the restaurant. Kristie is actually one of the first people that I shared my idea of 30 dates before 30 with. If she would have thought my idea was stupid, I might not be sitting here writing about date 28 at this very moment. But just like always, she was one of my biggest encouragers. I left her that day, feeling like I could take on the world and thus my 30 dates began shortly after. I try to visit their family often and so they are always allowing me to eat dinner with them at their house. Each time, Nick does a wonderful job of listening to my stories about Mr. KJWTS, pretending that he cares a little and I appreciate that. I felt super blessed when they said they wanted to take me out to dinner to celebrate my birthday, got a babysitter for their kids, bought both of our dinners and had a gift waiting for me at the table. They are one of the nicest and sweetest couples I have ever met and so Mr. KJWTS was able to interact with them very easily.

After dinner, Nick suggested we go to a nearby frozen yogurt place. He got coffee, the rest of us got some frozen yogurt and we spent over an hour playing four games of Uno.

We left shortly after the fourth game. When we got back to my house, Mr. KJWTS asked about my most recent blog posts. I have been reading them to him each date, but we were two behind. So I read him the posts from date 26 and date 27. After I was finished he smiled and came close to my face for a kiss, missing my lips only by a centimeter. Throughout all the posts, it is evident that I like him, so I began to wonder what he was thinking in return. I told him, “I wish you could write a blog post, so I could hear your thoughts.” He said, “Yeah, I understand what you mean, it is nice hearing what means a lot to you from our dates.” I expected him to expound on that but he didn’t.

A few minutes later, as I was remembering “It Is Well With My Soul,” I asked him, “So does hearing those blog posts make you happy or does it kind of freak you out, knowing that I like you?” He told me that it made him happy and I think I might have asked a follow up question, but I can’t remember what it was. He began saying that in the past, when he dated girls, he would try and map out their future too quickly and then it never ended up working out. He said, “with you, I have just been taking it a date at a time while you were doing the 30 dates and I can’t tell you what our future holds…” and then I cut him off. I told him that is not what I needed. I didn’t need for him to predict the future and I didn’t expect him to say that he wanted to be with me for the rest of his life. I told him, “I just want to know if you like me.” He looked at me and smiled and said, “Oh! I like you.” And then he leaned in for another “non-kiss” pretty close to my mouth. Then he leaned back and said, “A lot.”

“That’s all I need to know,” I said and I smiled back.

I had the question answered that I was wondering about for two weeks now. I basically just had to come out and ask. And women, that is probably what a man wants. Are you wondering something? They aren’t going to be able to read your minds. I know that I have joked about Mr. KJWTS being able to know my thoughts and I have obviously given him this nickname for a reason, because he is good with words. But no human being will ever know what to say at the perfect time. Mr. KJWTS needed me to ask. I needed me to ask. So things are moving forward.

The journey continues…

Oh, and he likes me.

2 dates and counting down.

Mr. Knows Just What To Say (you knew this post would be about him again, didn’t you?) and I both have March birthdays. Mine is at the end of the month – not like I needed to remind anyone, I have been counting down since September – and his was last weekend. I am particularly fond of birthdays, however, Mr. KJWTS said he didn’t really look forward to his. It might have to do with our age difference and the fact that he is now closer to 40 than 30. Regardless of how excited he was, I had to figure out his plans. Did he want to spend his birthday with me? Or did his family get together? Did he want to go out with his friends? I still wasn’t sure I knew him well enough to predict what he wanted.

So on our date 11, I asked him what he normally did for his birthday. He said his niece’s birthday was the same day and so sometimes his family would get together to celebrate. I nodded and our date 11 ended shortly after. Then on our date 12, his birthday was brought back up again, probably by me because I am a planner, although he seems to be one too, since he told me he was already planning something for my birthday weekend. I asked him if he had plans with his family yet and he said he didn’t. I then told him I would drive to him for his birthday, if that was what he wanted. He said that sounded good, although I felt a bit self-conscious and felt like I just invited myself. I just wanted to make sure he wasn’t alone for his birthday.

The plan was set and I spent the next week trying to figure out a birthday present. He has told me multiple times that I don’t need to get him anything, like for Christmas and just in general. Therefore I knew that he wasn’t expecting a birthday gift, but of course, I wanted to get him one anyway. A few days went by and I got an email from a ticket sales website with reminders about new events and venues. The email was an advertisement for a pre-sale for a particular comedy show and it just happened to be one of Mr. KJWTS’ favorite comedians! He had shown me some youtube videos of him on a previous date. I looked closer and got even more excited when I saw that the event was going to be held in Mr. KJWTS’ city! I knew this was my answer for his birthday present, even though I would be spending much more than planned. He was worth it though and I hoped that these tickets would make him feel special. The only down side was that the event was not until August. The optimistic side of me, hoped we would still be together. I took a deep breath, a bit shocked that I actually desired to still be with him in August, and I bought two tickets, one for him and one for me.

A few days before our 13th date, we were texting back and forth after an overwhelming day on my end. He said, “hopefully I can help you recharge/relax this weekend.” I asked him if he still wanted me to come and he responded with, “Uhhh, yeah, ABSOLUTELY! Why would I not?” I told him, “I just needed to hear you say it.” I needed to make sure that even though I felt like I might have invited myself, that he really did want to spend his birthday with me.

Right before this date, I went and got my highlights re-touched. I decided to liven things up a bit and add some pink streaks in my hair. I have done this once before and I loved it. My mom is not particularly fond of the style, but I have already received several compliments. It only lasts a few weeks and it’s nothing too extreme, but Zena (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Zena-Salon/191894064153945), my hair stylist, always knows exactly what I want – classy but with a little edge.

While I was getting my hair done, I inquired about where to buy a small cake or cupcake to take with me. Zena asked if it was someone’s birthday. I said yes and my mouth stayed open to explain whose birthday it was, but I began stumbling over my words. “It is a guy…I have been seeing…well, I mean…dating…I mean, I feel weird calling him my boyfriend, but he kinda is, I think..,.” and then I just told her the whole story. She found it pretty interesting and said she would be interested in reading about it. As I sat under the dryer, I sent her this blog link. Which brings me to say this, thank you to every person that has encouraged me throughout this whole process and taken the time to read these blog posts. Your comments, messages, prayers, and texts mean the world to me. And I feel like this whole experience has been much more enjoyable, taking you all along with me.

I left the salon feeling much prettier with some fresh highlights, ran a few more errands, changed into some pink pants to match my newly pink hair streaks and then was ready to set off to hang out with…my boyfri…the man that has captured my attention since September. I might not exactly know what title to give him, but I do know that I wouldn’t have wanted to spend my weekend with anyone else.

Here I am on the way, taking a selfie at a stop sign in my neighborhood, because I always forget to take a picture prior to my dates with Mr. KJWTS lately.

When I arrived, he greeted me at the door and I immediately told him happy birthday. I gave him a cupcake and a birthday card and left his present in my car for later. He told me he liked my hair. I don’t know if he noticed a difference or he was just saying that out of obligation because he knew I was getting it done that day. After turning on a light, he noticed the pink and said he didn’t see that at first, but he really liked it. We began discussing our plans for the day and since it was great weather, he decided to show me around the campus of where he attended college.

There was a walking trail right off the campus, so we spent the next couple of hours walking there. At one point, he reached over and touched my hair and said how much he liked the pink streaks. He said, “It makes you a little bit punk.” I laughed. After awhile, both of us were getting pretty warm, I had not worn the appropriate walking shoes or clothing and I was getting hungry. So our walk ended shortly after that and we drove to Qdoba to eat. Halfway through line, I realized that I left my purse in the car and that I was the only one eating, so I felt really badly about assuming he would be paying. I said something to him about it and he said that he didn’t mind paying for me, but I still felt a bit awkward. We went outside to sit and I cut him part of the burrito to eat.

After we ate, we weren’t quite ready to go home and back indoors, so he took me to a small park right off a lake. Sitting there I thought back to his text from earlier in the week about helping me recharge. Sitting on the bench, with my feet over his lap and his arm around me, relaxed is exactly how I felt. He has told me multiple times that he enjoys being around me because it is just “easy.” And I agree with him. My weeks are usually crazy and in the past, I would spend the majority of my weekends by myself, trying to recoup and rejuvenate before it started all over again on Monday. But when being with someone is so easy, it is refreshing. I always leave my time with him feeling re-energized. Being an introvert, someone who gains energy by being alone, I was surprised that this was the case time and time again. There had been instances where I used to think that maybe my personality meant I wouldn’t get married one day – maybe that is why I hadn’t found anyone to date in over a decade. But now I know otherwise. When you find someone who is easy to be around, marriage seems like much more of a reality.

When we got back to his house, I went to my car and brought in his birthday present. He said, “You didn’t need to get me anything,” and I smiled and said, “I know.” I had wrapped the printed tickets in a box and after he opened them, he seemed very surprised and grateful. I told him about the show not being until August and that if we were still together, I would go with him. Then I said, “But if for some reason, we aren’t, I am giving you both the tickets right now and you can take someone else.” He laughed and I secretly hoped again that we would still be together, because if we weren’t, I am not sure he would want to take another girl to a show with tickets that his old girlfriend a girl he used to go on dates with had bought him. And I really didn’t want those tickets to be wasted.

He thanked me for the gift and then leaned over to kiss my cheek. I told him that since it was his birthday, he had to choose where we ate for dinner that night. After thinking a bit, he told me he would rather just avoid the wait and stay in and suggested maybe we go pick something up. I suggested pizza and he thought that was a great idea.

After picking up the pizza, we got back to his house and watched a movie while we ate. At some point, dancing was brought up and he made some sort of remark that made it seem like he didn’t dance often or that he wasn’t sure he remembered how. I had thought the same thing when I was at the Father/Daughter dance a month ago. I smiled and he said, “Come here for a second, let’s see if we know how.” He pulled me to my feet and I instructed him where to put his hands, although I think he already knew. We went back and forth for awhile and I said that we needed music, thinking it might be more romantic with that. He said, “Well I can just sing,” and then out of all of the songs he could have started singing he started with, “Bow Chicka Wow Wow…” I literally threw my head back and laughed and said that was not what I had in mind. So he started singing some other song, which I can’t even remember now. It lasted like 2 seconds and then we laughed and sat back down again. One thing I noticed on this date was that we laughed at each other quite a bit. There were many times I would make a joke or say something sarcastic and he would really laugh hard, which would get me laughing. I can’t even remember what I would say to him, I just remember the joy I felt when he would laugh at me. My dad always told me I was a funny person, but I thought that was just because he was my dad.

The night ended shortly after, especially because the time change was not in our favor this time. We had been together when the time changed in the fall as well and I mentioned that to him. We reminisced about that date and then I also brought up the fact that we have spent several holidays together. We had been together over Thanksgiving break and then Christmas break as well. We were together for New Years, Valentine’s Day and now his birthday. We also have plans to spend my birthday weekend together. However, there is one more weekend in between that, which is a good thing because I need to get in three more dates.

I guess spending the major holidays with each other is what people in relationships do. And maybe one day I might even feel comfortable calling him my boyfriend, even if it takes until August.

3 dates and counting down.