Date 26 was with Mr. Knows Just What To Say, it took place last weekend. However, because of a very busy week, I have not had the chance to write about it.

So it was now our 12th date together, but not only that, it was the 3rd weekend in a row that we saw each other. “Remember when we used to go more than 20 days in between seeing each other?” he asked this time. “Yes,” I said, “I can’t imagine doing that now. I could handle it then because that was before I liked you this much.” He smiled. I remember watching my friends date and wondering why in the heck they wanted to spend every weekend with their boyfriend. I would wonder, “Don’t you need a break after awhile?” or maybe I did actually ask them that out loud. I distinctively remember talking to one of my best guy friends from high school this past summer about how often he talked with his out of town girlfriend, now fiancé. “You talk with her every single day!?” He smiled and nodded. Now I know why he smiled. Mr. KJWTS and I have texted every single day since the very first text was sent, even before our first date. I didn’t know I could find a man that I didn’t get tired of being with after awhile. Sounds horrible to actually type, but it was true. I really thought after about 5 or so dates with Mr. KJWTS, I would be ready to move on. But that never happened. I guess that is what happens when you actually find someone you want to date. Hmmm who knew?!

Back in September when I first met Mr. KJWTS, there was something special about him, something that caught my attention, which is the reason that I agreed to a second date with him in October. However, I would never have guessed that I would have wanted to see him three weekends in a row – now that is a bit crazy. And not only that, but I miss him in between weekends. I look forward to the weekends way more now and get very excited leaving school on Friday evenings. The only bad thing is, it makes the weekend ending that much more dreadful. The weekends go by much quicker and the Sunday night pit in the stomach has just multiplied by two.

The cute thing is, he feels it too. It was Saturday night and Mr. KJWTS said, “I am already dreading tomorrow because I will have to leave and it feels like I just got here.” He had just gotten here. My Friday evening was spent mostly at school as I led a club until 5:00 and then spent another two hours creating some lessons for the following Monday. At 7:00, I was not finished, but left anyway because it was time to get the weekend started and I knew I had to go grocery shopping to get some food in my house. We knew that I would be getting home later than normal that night, so his plan was to come on Saturday. “What is the earliest you would want me to come?” he asked the day before. I answered him with around noon. So I was expecting him for lunch. Friday night, while I was shopping, I picked up some lunch meat and bread for sandwiches and then bought a few ingredients for dinner meals, just in case we stayed in and cooked this weekend. When I was at his house a few dates back, he had some particular cheese slices that I loved. I looked for it in the particular section and could not find it. This was the second grocery store I had looked in throughout the past few weeks. Oh well, I bought another kind instead, drove home, unloaded the groceries and went to bed ready for Saturday to begin,

It was 11:45 am on Saturday and Mr. KJWTS texted and said he was almost at my house. He asked if he should just drive around until noon and I answered him with “of course not!” It was considerate of him to ask though. I had told him noon and he was going to make sure he listened. He always takes the things I say into consideration. Not only does he know what to say most of the time, but he knows how to listen. And this is a relief after spending days with middle schoolers who don’t always have the same skill.

When he arrived, he handed me a grocery bag and said he came bearing gifts. When I looked inside the grocery bag, it was the cheese that I had just been looking for the night before at the grocery store. See what I mean when I say there has to be a little messenger letting him in on my inner workings and thoughts going on in my head. I haven’t thought of any other explanation.

I made some sandwiches for lunch and then we talked about what we were going to do for the day. My days revolve around my meals, so even though we hadn’t even finished lunch yet, I brought up the topic of dinner. We went back and forth on whether to cook dinner at home or go out.  After deciding to go to a movie after cooking dinner at home, I put some meat in the crock pot and realized I forgot an ingredient at the store. When I told him I was going to run to the store, he said he would come with me and we took his car instead. A task of running to the store when I had just been there the night before would have seemed daunting and a waste of time in any other circumstance, but it wasn’t so bad now that Mr. KJWTS was by my side. On the way there, we changed our plans and decided that it made more sense to go out to dinner before the movie, so we wouldn’t be rushed cooking at home. We had been trying to make it to a movie several times before, so we didn’t want anything to stand in our way this time. So I saved the crockpot dinner for Sunday instead.

The night ended up being a fun little date night for us with dinner and a movie. Sometime that evening, he kissed the side of my face and then kissed me again closer to my lips. The closer he would get to my lips, the more I felt I would tense up. Not because I wasn’t ready to kiss him, just because it was a big deal to me. After another kiss, pretty darn close to my lips, he backed away a little bit and looked at me and said, “I want to kiss you so badly, but you are so close to turning 30, I think we should wait.” He went on to say that I had waited 29 years to kiss, so he thought it would be cool for me to say that I waited until the age of 30. I appreciated that his decision was because he was thinking about me, even though I hadn’t set a specific time myself about when it would be the right time for us to kiss. I liked that he decided for us. Afterwards he dropped me back off at my house and after another close to the lips kiss, he headed to the hotel for the night and I went to bed feeling happy and very respected.

I understand that kissing versus not kissing is not what determines respect in a relationship. Well I mean, I guess it can – but not always. I am not saying that if we kissed on our first couple of dates, that would have meant he didn’t respect me. I realize that the length of time you wait to kiss does not equate to the amount of respect one has for the other. However, his decision to think about me before his own desires, is what made me feel so very respected. His self control was admirable. He let me know that he did in fact desire to kiss me and he lets me know often that he thinks I am beautiful. Therefore I don’t have to wonder if our lack of kissing means that he is not attracted to me. He makes it clear that he is. Every single night our texting conversations end with “Good Night Beautiful.” A woman needs to know that the man she is with thinks she is beautiful and she needs to hear that often. So not only does he make me feel beautiful, but he makes me feel respected. Now do you know why I wanted to see him three weekends in a row?

The next morning he came back over for breakfast and then we went to church together. Later that evening, I warmed up the meat in the oven from the crock pot the day before and then prepared the rest of the meal. He would come into the kitchen and stop my flow every once and awhile to wrap his arms around me as I would go from the stove to the fridge to the sink. He would laugh and tell me that he enjoys annoying me like that. I would look at him and smile, thinking that if it would have been any other person, he would have been right, I would have been annoyed. But because it was him, I didn’t feel the least bit annoyed. I don’t think I told him that though, instead I just kept right on cooking.

After dinner we decided he would leave by 8pm, so he could get home at a decent time for a Sunday night. At 7:50, I looked at him and asked him to stay until 8:30. He agreed and we spent the last 40 minutes on the couch watching TV together and setting plans to see each other the next weekend as well. This would be 4 weekends in a row, in case I needed to remind anyone. And then around 8:30, we both groaned and he got up to leave.

Only 4 more dates and counting down. I cannot believe it. This weekend is date 27 and I am hoping for a less hectic week to be able to blog about it before next weekend actually gets here.

You can tell a lot about a person by his/her friends. One of my-coworkers recently had a quote on her classroom door that said, “Show me your friends, I’ll show you your future.” That is especially true in middle school and high school because young adults are influenced greatly by their peers. However, I also realized that it is true in your 30s as well. And maybe even for the rest of your life? You can tell a lot about a person by the people they choose to hang out with.

This weekend I met Mr. Knows Just What To Say‘s friends. So even though we had less than 3 minutes of alone time total this weekend, I am counting this as my 11th date with him, the 25th date overall. I think it really helped me get to know him better.

I had been wanting my best friend to hang out with Mr. KJWTS for some time now. I had recently read a blog post titled, “Waiting for a Christ-Built Man,” which was written by Leslie Ludy, a well known Christian author who often writes about relationships. Here is what she said,

…Recruit some “teammates” who can observe him along with you.  If you are willing to humble yourself and submit to their wisdom, God can work through them to give you caution or assurance as you decide whether to move forward in a relationship.

http://setapartgirl.com/leslie-ludy/blog/02-17-15/waiting-christ-built-man

She mainly talks about using your parents, but really it can be anyone who knows you well and wants the best for you – someone who you respect and know will state the honest truth.

I realize that I should be careful whose opinions I am letting influence me and my decisions, because in the end it is important to just follow the Lord’s leading. Notice I didn’t say it was important to follow my own heart. That could be dangerous. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things.” I know that society tells us to follow our hearts or to go with our gut instincts and therefore I am going against what is the norm. Those clichés are used almost every single episode in The Bachelor and in most movies that come out of Hollywood. And we all know how those relationships turn out – both from The Bachelor and in Hollywood. I have a feeling that following our hearts have led us to a 50 percent divorce rate, both inside and outside of the church. If I followed my heart (my feelings) in high school and the years after, I would have dated guys and possibly married one that would not have resulted in God’s best for me. If you want to follow a heart, follow God’s.

Finding someone to enter into a serious relationship with is a big deal, especially for me with going for so long without one. So in the midst of trying to figure out the Lord’s leading, why not get my best friend’s opinion as well? If someone truly has your best interest at heart, why not ask them what their thoughts are about the relationship? Many times, friends or family may notice some red flags that you are blind to in the beginning “butterfly” stages.

My best friend, of course, had heard all about Mr. KJWTS, but had only spent less than 30 minutes actually interacting with the guy. And hanging out with a person takes it to a new level. In the past whenever I liked a guy, my best friend knew him pretty well, but because of the circumstances and living almost two hours away from Mr. KJWTS, this situation was different than any before. I wanted them to get to know one another, since Mr. KJWTS had become a pretty important part of my life. And if I could introduce my best friend to a couple of Mr. KJWTS‘ single guy friends while I was at it, then why not get this party started?

So about a month ago, I mentioned this idea to Mr. KJWTS and we set a weekend for it. He made sure a couple of his friends were free that weekend and our plans were set in motion.

My best friend and I left our house around noon on Saturday. Shortly after arriving at Mr. KJWTS’ house, he took us to The Billy Graham Library. We all really enjoyed the next couple of hours walking from room to room learning about Billy Graham’s life and legacy and it was the perfect way for the three of us to spend the day together.

On our way home we stopped by the grocery store to pick up ingredients for dinner that night. As we were checking out, my best friend and I picked up a few things from the cart (or buggy as the Southerners would say) and told him that we could go in the next aisle over and pay for a few items ourselves. Without hesitation, Mr. KJWTS said, “No, it’s okay, I got it.” I immediately put the things that I grabbed back in the cart/buggy but my best friend looked at me with the items still in her hands and said, “I don’t know what to do.” I told her that if the man said he had it, he had it. “Put the things down and let him get it,” I whispered. We are just not used to people paying for us. We can credit that to the past decade of singleness.

After arriving back to the house, my best friend and I began preparing the meal and Mr. KJWTS’ friends started arriving shortly after. Altogether he invited four people. Two were a recently married couple and the other two were single guys. We spent the rest of the evening eating tacos, playing a game and getting to know one another. I was impressed with how easily they all held conversations with us. At one point, one of the guys asked me how I met Mr. KJWTS and at that almost exact moment my best friend walked up and changed the topic. I didn’t know if she had done that on purpose or if it was just a coincidence, but I breathed a sigh of relief and left the conversation, silently thanking her. I was unsure if Mr. KJWTS had told his friends how we met and I wasn’t sure if I should be the one to break that news. Later I asked him if his friends knew that eharmony introduced us and he said he thought he told most of them, but maybe not the one that asked me.

His friends began to leave sometime after 11. They initiated hugs goodbye and I watched them walk out the door. I was surprised at how intelligent and genuinely nice they all were. He had great friends.

After they left, Mr. KJWTS took my best friend and I to a nearby hotel, where we had already dropped off my car. He had bought us a room for the night, so we didn’t have to sacrifice staying on an air mattress in his office. My best friend was impressed. He bought all of the groceries and now a hotel room. He is very generous and made us feel very well taken care of all day long.

In the morning, I drove my car back to his house and we piled in his car to go to church. Usually when we are in the car, he will place his hand on my knee or grab my hand, but with my best friend in the backseat he refrained out of respect for her. I admired him for that. I had explained to him before what it felt like to be a single person in the midst of a dating couple that was constantly touching one another. It wasn’t always very fun on my end and many times it would leave my heart aching for the day that it would happen for me. It usually just reminded me that I was alone. He understood, he had many single years under his belt as well, so he knew what that felt like. However, he has dated way more than me, but then again, who hasn’t?!

This was our first time attending church together and it felt so good to be sitting next to a man who I had feelings for. When we stood up for worship, he placed his hand around my lower back and he was close enough that I could hear him singing. It’s always been such an attractive quality to see a Christian man that is not too timid or shy to worship Jesus through singing in a public setting. While we sat during the rest of the service, my coat covered my legs and his knee was touching mine. I placed my hand under my coat on his knee and he grabbed my hand with his. We hadn’t held hands all weekend and at that moment I got butterflies in my stomach. I remember thinking how happy and content I was at that moment, sitting in church, with my hand in his.

After church, Mr. KJWTS introduced me to the wife of one of his other friends. He had talked about this couple quite a bit because the husband had been very influential in Mr. KJWTS’ understanding of exactly who Jesus was over ten years ago. He told me that the wife was one of the sweetest people he has ever met. I told her I had heard a lot about her and she said, “I have heard a lot about you as well and meeting you today has literally made my day!”

We walked out of church with her and met her husband in the lobby. After a few minutes, we said our goodbyes and the wife came over to hug me and said that she would love to get together with me sometime. She was just as sweet and awesome as he described her to be.

Our after church plans consisted of eating brunch at the same couple’s apartment that had come over to his house the evening before. They cooked us an amazing brunch and we had such a good time listening to their love story.

After we left their apartment, Mr. KJWTS took us to the heart of the city where he works.

He showed us around the building, up on the 32nd floor, where he spends his week days. It was really neat seeing the city that high up. We walked around for a bit longer and then headed back to his house for some left-over tacos.

We left his house around 4 and began the two hour trek back home. On the way home, my best friend looked at me and said, “I really like him, I really do.” I don’t think she could have said anything better than that. I couldn’t wipe the smile off of my face because I knew how genuine she was being. It felt so good to hear her say that. I was so grateful for her to spend the weekend with us.

As we drove home, I couldn’t help but wonder when I would get to see him again. We hadn’t talked about it while I was there. Later that night, I sent him an email thanking him again for his generosity and for giving us both a great weekend. I asked him when I was going to see him next and his response was, “Well, I could drive down to you next weekend if you want.”

Yes, Mr. KJWTS, that is what I want 🙂

What?! Three weekends In. A. Row. I am in trouble…

5 dates and counting down. Until this weekend.

A lot can change in one year’s time. Those who have experienced losses and new beginnings probably understand this the best. From Valentine’s Day 2014 to Valentine’s Day 2015, a lot has changed. I witnessed one of my best friends from high school get married to the love of his life (shout out to Craig – to see if he really reads these posts…), I have met the very prayed for sweet baby of another high school best friend (shout out to Katie – because we all know you read these…) and have experienced one of my greatest losses with the death of my grandma – someone who I never got the chance to tell about my 30 dates. She would have gotten such a kick out of it and would have probably loved reading these blog posts more than all my friends combined.

From 2/14/2014 to 2/14/2015, I have said goodbye to a school year loving my job with all my heart and said hello to another, where many days have ended with tears or the strong desire to stab my eyes out (this blog is about honesty, right?). I have finished another year of GRAD school (one more to go) and watched my parents finally settle in the south and renovate their new home.

Oh yeah, and…wait for it…

…I have finally met a man who has captured my interest enough to go on ten dates with….

But you already knew that.

A lot can happen in one year’s time.

Last year I spent Valentine’s Day with my parents (I think the year before that too… and quite possibly the year before that…). We had a snow day from school that day and I spent the day shopping with my mom. After shopping we picked up a box of pizza and started home to meet my dad. I remember feeling content and I even told my mom that I wouldn’t want to be doing anything else that night. Many singles dread the made-up holiday we call Valentine’s Day, because it reminds them of what they don’t have. But I was never like that and I happen to like the “holiday”. Plus I didn’t need February 14th to make me feel lonely, I felt that on most weekends.

So as I sat there eating pizza and watching a movie with my parents, I felt content. I honestly wasn’t even sure how it felt to celebrate Valentine’s Day with a man anyway. My dad had always taken it upon himself to be my Valentine and he has certainly sent his share of flowers to my work over the years. That always made me feel special, even the year of the 1-800-flowers faux pas. Just a small disclaimer to never use that company, I mean never ever. My eyes are beginning to twitch right now just thinking back on that incident. I almost dislike hate them as much as Time Warner Cable.

So this particular Valentine’s Day (2014), my dad stayed clear of 1-800-flowers, actually flowers altogether and both my parents gave me some gifts that evening. It kinda felt like my birthday as I sat in my sitting room, opening up presents from a giant gift bag. I opened up a candle, lipstick and chocolate and then got to the two best gifts at the end. One was a poem written by my mom and the other was a small figurine picked out by my dad.

The poem was titled, “While You Wait” and typed on a picture printout my parents had taken of me months prior. And the figurine was a representation of the man of God my dad had been praying for me.

What sweet and thoughtful gifts. I felt very loved that day. And have cherished both gifts ever since.

Here is the poem my mom wrote for me:

We know you sometimes get tired of hearing that we pray,

For that man of God to come, but he seems to be delayed.

We know that there are reasons why God has held him back,

Most likely he’s in training so that nothing will he lack.

‘Cause he’s a special man whose been chosen from the start,

He will need lots of wisdom in order to do his part.

That is why we often prayed, it seems like very day,

That he would be the man of God, who’ll always know what to say.

One day people will ask him, and question him about,

How did he get to be your husband, and did he ever doubt.

We can now imagine seeing him, standing there so firm,

Confident and strong, as his words will be confirmed.

“No”, he will answer boldly as he looks back on his life.

God had promised him early on, that one day you’d be his wife.

So our darling daughter when things are moving slow,

Use this time to prepare yourself and allow yourself to grow.

We know that you’re a smart lady, and see things as they are,

We know that you’ve been patient, and trusted God so far.

But until that man of God does come, keep looking up and say,

Thank you Heavenly Father, for this gift I’ll have one day.

My mom explained that while she was writing that poem, she knew it was inspired by God because it came so easily to her. So not only did I feel so very loved by my parents that day, but also by my Heavenly Father. He was reminding me that He had it all figured out already.

So Valentine’s Day 2014 was pretty great.

And Valentine’s Day 2015 was too. It happened to be my 10th date with Mr. Knows Just What To Say and I had spent the last two weeks counting down the days.

So, I have to ask before I go any further…Did anyone else notice these lines in the poem?!

That is why we often prayed, it seems like very day,

That he would be the man of God, who’ll always know what to say.

A few months ago I was reading this poem and nearly fell over when I saw that line. I was in a bit of a shock, so much so, that I took the poem off the top of my dresser and laid it hidden in my top drawer. I didn’t even mention it to my mom because I was a little bit freaked out by it. Was this just an ironic coincidence or a divine plan?

Part of the reason I hid it was because when Mr. KJWTS came over for our 4th date, I didn’t want him reading it. I figured it would be nice and safe tucked under a few shirts in my dresser. Deep inside, I told myself that if I ever ended up engaged to Mr. KJWTS, I would pull the poem out and share it with everyone. What a story that would be! But if we ended up not lasting, I wouldn’t mention my findings to anyone.

And now I am sharing it with my whole world in a blog post…interesting how things change.

It is not because I know Mr. KJWTS is the one that my mom talks about in the poem. It is not because I know that Mr. KJWTS is the man that my dad has been praying for. I don’t know any of that yet. I do know that my feelings are getting stronger each time I am with him, but I couldn’t possibly know whether or not I am going to marry this guy. I know some people say that they knew right away… and… good for those people…but that’s not me. While my freak out meter has been hiding lately, it is most definitely still there.

I basically just started dating for goodness sakes, I am not ready to figure out who will be my husband. So, again, I don’t know. And I don’t have to know. Because my God does. And I am perfectly fine taking it date by date right now. Mr. KJWTS and I have not even talked about “our relationship status.” We don’t have a title and I have no idea how he would introduce me to his friends. None of that matters right now. I think we are just waiting to see how this 30 dates adventure ends before we begin to talk about those kinds of things.

What I do know is that I loved spending Valentine’s Day with him, our 10th date.

A few days prior, I reminded him that this was our 10th date and asked him if he ever counted dates this high up before. He said, “No, I don’t think most people count past their 3rd.” I laughed and wondered when I would actually stop counting. Maybe after the 30 dates? But then again, maybe not.

I drove to his house for this date and as soon as I walked in he had a vase of dozen roses, some chocolate and a card sitting out for me.

He even signed the card, “Mr. KJWTS.”

A part of me was surprised because I really wasn’t expecting anything from him on Valentine’s Day. He has told me that he doesn’t really like the idea of giving or getting gifts out of obligation and so I was wondering if he was one of those people who boycotted Valentine’s Day. In theory, I get those people and I understand why they hate the day so much. However, I have come to see the good in it. It gives married couples with kids a reason to get a babysitter and actually go out on a real date. Should they do that on other days besides February 14th? Sure. But life gets busy. Valentine’s Day reminds couples to take some time for themselves every once and awhile. Plus, if you boycott the made-up holiday of Valentine’s Day, do you also boycott Mother’s Day and Father’s Day? Those days bring families together that might not always make time for one another. Should they make time for one another besides the one day in May and one day in June. Sure. But life gets busy. Yes, I know these are made-up holidays, but to me, if you can find a middle ground somewhere, why not let yourself enjoy it?

So I can’t say that I wasn’t happy to be getting flowers from Mr. KJWTS. His card was pretty cute too.

He wrote:

“Thank you for letting me take this journey with you. It is an honor to spend this Valentine’s Day with you. I’m enjoying getting to know you and learn from you. Your heart and character are beautiful things to witness and I love seeing the softer side of you that you don’t let most people see. Thank you for choosing to be with me today.”

The “softer side” he is referring to is probably when I cried in front of him on our last date. So I smiled when I read that. At least he took that as a good thing and it didn’t leave him wanting to run.

We had decided to stay at his place and cook dinner that evening to avoid the crowds and the long waits at restaurants. We have gone out to eat several times already, so why not stay in and let the married couples with children at home with a babysitter, enjoy the long lines of waiting to eat in a restaurant 🙂 We decided on a meal and I went to the grocery store while he went to Lowe’s to get something to fix his television that he had been working on all week.

I prepared the meal, while he was busying himself in the attic with TV antennas and I loved every minute of it. It was fun to cook for a guy.

After we ate, our plan was to go see a movie. We had been wanting to see The Imitation Game for awhile now, but it never seemed to work out. So we had planned our dinner schedule around the movie time. We drove 20 minutes to the movie, lucked out on finding a close parking spot and waited in line for our tickets, only to see that it was sold out. We were smart about the restaurant situation, but didn’t even think of having to get to the movie way ahead of time for tickets. Oh well. We turned back around and went to Kohl’s instead.

He had to buy some socks and on the way out, I noticed a cute pink hoodie on sale for 50% off. So he bought that for me too. I felt like a real “couple” at that point. Making dinner and shopping for socks, will do that to ya every time.

We decided to just go back to his place and watch some movies. I had brought The Notebook for us to watch because he had told me on our 3rd date or so that he has never seen that. So I decided we were going to watch that, I am not sure I gave him a choice. I’m sure he liked it. Who wouldn’t? I told him we had to watch a romantic chick flick on Valentine’s Day anyway. That’s probably why the theater experience didn’t work out for us.

The day was perfect. Valentine’s Day 2015 was perfect.

Thinking back to last year and that poem again, a lot can change in a year’s time.

So why did I end up sharing that poem in a post anyway? Especially after my strong intent on hiding it after the discovery of that one line?

Because I couldn’t talk about Valentine’s Day without comparing it to last year’s and I couldn’t talk about last year’s, without sharing that sweet poem. Just remember that I am not going to marry this man because of a poem. There is a chance that we might not last past our 15th date. Or we might. We might date for a whole year. Or we might not. My life is not a movie, like The Notebook, so I cannot guarantee a happy ending with Mr. KJWTS. There is a chance we could really hurt each other or maybe things will just end peacefully because we realize we aren’t right for each other. I might even disappoint all the readers that have gone on this journey with me and are rooting for us to work out. I do know that when you date, you are taking chances. And I was at the point in my life that I wanted to take those chances. So that is what I am doing.

But if I look through the optimistic glasses for once, there is also a chance that this adventure could really work for us. Maybe we will get a happily ever after.

And if that happened, I would be the first to submit a movie manuscript to the Hallmark channel. After all, they were the ones that made up Valentine’s Day, right?

6 dates and counting down. Until next weekend.

Last night I went to a Father/Daughter Ball sponsored by Fellowship of Christian Athletes in the town where I teach. My date was my own father and I was the oldest daughter there. The event was for 3rd through 8th grade daughters and their fathers. I was asked to speak at the event and I knew that at a Father/Daughter Ball, I needed my dad to accompany me, both in attending the event and in speaking. I wanted my mom to come too, so I told her she could be the 3rd wheel. I don’t think she minded.

On our way to the event, I was thinking how I wouldn’t get a date in this weekend after Mr. P cancelled last weekend. Then I looked over at my dad and I realized that we were on a date, we were going to a Father/Daughter Ball after all. I decided right then that this was my date 23 and I would write a blog post of this date. Because I needed a post for each date (that was the rule that I came up with at the beginning) and who said my own father couldn’t be apart of my 30 dates. I never had a rule against that, so really I am not breaking any rules. Who am I kidding? I pretty much make up the rules as I go anyway.

We arrived at the event and stayed in the car to pray for the evening. My dad and I had spent a few hours that day going over what we would speak about. But no matter what we said, it wouldn’t matter if God didn’t show up and take over.

We spent the first part of the evening eating hors d’oeuvres, which were very good by the way. It is probably because I have the palate of a 3rd grader – chicken strips, fruit, chips and dip and cupcakes. Then eventually fathers started taking their daughters out on the dance floor. It was inspiring to watch. Watching these dads spin their young beautiful daughters in sparkly dresses around the dance floor literally melted my heart. They were precious, every single one of them. During a slow dance, my dad and I ventured out to the dance floor. Out of all of the men that I shared dances with, my dad had the most. However, it had been awhile and I was a bit rusty as I forgot which hand went where. My dad laughed, but soon I remembered.

After we finished our plates and our dance, we continued to watch the men and their daughters dancing until it was time for us to speak. Even though I had spent hours preparing that day feeling pretty confident, I started second guessing myself.

Am I sharing exactly what these girls need to hear? Will it be too over their head? Can I sustain their attention? Should I just scrap the whole thing and just stand up there and tell them how beautiful God thinks they are?

This usually starts to happen to me when I am actually with the people that I am about to speak to. But I think it is just part of my nerves. Even though I don’t actually feel nervous speaking in front of people anymore, I think my nerves come out through second guessing everything I prepared.

I stopped worrying, gave it to God ONE more time and continued to watch the dancing unfold around me. While I did this, I couldn’t help but think that this was how it should be, men spending an evening with their little girls making them feel beautiful and cherished. Unfortunately, there are a number of girls that wish they had an available father to take them to this ball and my heart broke for several of my students that I teach that didn’t have this luxury. One of my students said, “My dad would never go to something like that with me, I don’t even need to ask him.” She was the same girl that when I called her beautiful last year, she responded with, “that was the first time anyone has ever told me that.” Many other girls don’t even know their dad to be able to ask them. What I wish that those girls knew and maybe I will get to tell them one day is that they really do have a Father. God is their ultimate Father and He loves them more than any earthly man could ever love them.

As my thoughts wandered through these sad realizations, I looked over at my dad as he was smiling watching the girls and their dads dance. I was so blessed to have him in my life. Even if I was about to get up there and speak and say all of the wrong things, I was at least excited to share with everyone how special my dad was to me and what a great job he did in raising a little girl who would have never known she was beautiful if it wasn’t for her daddy telling her.

Around 8:30, I got up to speak and then eventually called my dad up to share some stories as I talked. Here is a shortened version of what I shared, because if I shared the whole thing, this post would be way too long. So it may seem a bit choppy, as I cut a lot out, including my dad’s stories.

---

I have a dog named Luci, she listens pretty well now, well most of the time, but that was not always the case. The first few months of having her, she liked to play this game called “running away.” I hated that game.  Luci used to love to go in my neighbor’s yard. I tried to tell her over and over that her boundaries were to stay in my backyard and only my backyard.

When Luci ran away I would freak out and start chasing her. I didn’t want anything happening to her. Even after 20 minutes, I wouldn’t give up, I would have chased her all night if I had to, probably to the point of tears, but I would have done it, because I loved her. I kept chasing and running around barefoot in circles and I started feeling like it was useless, but I didn’t give up and I didn’t catch her….until… she finally LET me. I don’t know why she let me, I am not sure if she got tired of running herself, because I certainly was out of breath, or if she just finally understood that I was chasing her because I loved her so much and I wanted her to come home with me.

This is how Jesus works. Imagine for a second that you are like my little dog Luci and that God is our owner. God has set up specific boundaries for us because He loves us and He already knows what bad things will happen to us when we go outside of our boundaries. For some reason, we tend to want to run away to see what it is like outside of His boundaries.

It is like going in the neighbor’s yard and soon we are drifting too far away from home, that we could get ourselves in trouble and hurt. See in Luci’s little brain of hers, she wasn’t aware of the consequences of drifting from my yard, but I knew. And that is why I chased after her. I loved her so much, that I didn’t want her to experience any of those bad things.

Now think back to us for a second, we can be like Luci. We might want to leave our boundaries, but the problem is bad things might happen to us and God knows that. That is why He keeps chasing after us no matter how long it takes.

The reason that I never gave up on Luci when she ran away from me was because she was MY dog and I had already spent a lot of money on her, I paid a price for her. The price I paid was just a little bit compared to what God did for us. God had to give up His only Son, Jesus. Jesus had to die on the cross because He knew that we were people who liked to run away. This is called sin and we are not allowed to go to heaven if we have sin in our lives. Well the problem is everyone sins. I sinned when I was just three years old because I didn’t listen to my dad when he told me to say thank you.

My dad had to teach me manners, but my dad couldn’t save me. Only Jesus’ death on the cross could. Jesus died on the cross to remove all of those sins from our lives, so that one day we could go to heaven and have no boundaries. All we needed to do was accept this gift that doesn’t cost us anything. Jesus said in heaven, we could run around wherever we wanted because nothing bad could happen there. And one day, I look forward to experiencing that. But right now, we are still on Earth. And on Earth, bad things can still happen to us, so God wants to protect us as much as He can by setting up boundaries in our lives.

But in the end, just like Luci had to decide if she was going to listen to me, we have to decide if we are going to always just do what we want to do or if we are going to listen to God. Remember God knows everything and wants us to go to Heaven where nothing bad can ever happen to us again. If Luci decides to not listen to me, she might get hurt. If we decide to do whatever we want to do on Earth, we might get hurt too.

So I want to share a few things with you tonight about some boundaries in my own life that I have set because I wanted to do what Jesus asked me to do. The first boundary had to do with boys. My dad taught me at a very early age that the most important thing to look for when I started dating was a guy that loved Jesus with his whole heart. If I could find that, nothing else mattered.

That was easy for me to want when I was 7 or 8 years old, because at that time I thought everyone loved Jesus. When I reached middle school, I soon found out that wasn’t true. I was shocked at some of the things I would hear my classmates talking about and listen to some of the things they would do. I knew in middle school I was different and I decided shortly after that I would live my entire life devoted to God. I would be different than the world around me. And as I got older I saw the spiritual leader that my dad was and I knew I wanted that in a husband one day. I didn’t want to date just anyone, I wanted to date someone who loved Jesus with everything they had and showed that to other people.

When I entered high school, my dad’s worst nightmare came true. My first real crush didn’t love Jesus at all. He knew who Jesus was and he believed. But he didn’t live like he loved Jesus. One night, he asked me the question, “Would you be my girlfriend?” I can honestly tell you that everything inside of me was screaming yes. This is what I had been waiting for. Any 16 year old girl would have said yes. But then I realized, I wasn’t just ANY girl. I had made the decision a few years back to be set apart and stay within the boundaries that God set up for my life. When I told my parents that the boy I liked asked to be my boyfriend, my dad was quiet.

My dad could have stood up and started yelling at me, “Haven’t you paid attention to what I’ve been saying ALL of your life?! Are you really considering dating a boy like that? Don’t you remember you want a man that loves Jesus?!” But he didn’t. He didn’t because he knew that I already knew, he had spent 16 years instilling in me that it was very important to choose a boyfriend that loved Jesus. That night, neither one of us got much sleep. I tossed and turned all night, knowing what I would have to tell my crush. My dad later told me, he was up the entire night praying for me.

Later I had to tell that boy, I was choosing not to date him, not because my parents forbid me to, but because I knew it wasn’t the right choice. I went to bed that night and began crying myself to sleep, but as I did that I felt God saying to me. “You chose me, daughter. I am so proud of you for choosing me.” That night I prayed to God, “God, lock my heart up until you bring the man into my life that is meant for me. A man that loves you with all of his heart.”

So many times girls feel that once they reach a certain age they need to have a boyfriend. They don’t feel pretty unless they have a boyfriend telling them that. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case for me. My first crush called me beautiful and told me I was special and don’t get me wrong that made me feel good, but he wasn’t telling me anything that I hadn’t heard before from my dad. There isn’t a true study out there yet, at least not one I am aware of, but I can pretty much bet that a girl is going to fall in love with the first man that calls her beautiful. So why not let that be her daddy? Girls need to hear their beautiful when they are 5, but also when they are 13, especially when they are 13. And they will need to hear it when they are 16 too and 20 and even 25 and 29. And while I am not married yet, I can also bet that wives need to hear it often, even after several years of marriage…after decades of being married. It’s what we need to hear.

I made a few other decisions in my life regarding boundaries around the time of my first crush. I decided that I wasn’t going to dress to get guys’ attention. I like clothes and I enjoy fashion. I could dress cute and fashionable, but in a way that honored the Lord and protected me from guys that didn’t have my best interest at heart.

1 Corinthians 6:19, “Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself”

That means that my body belongs to God and I am thankful for that, because he created me. He created me to be beautiful, just like he created you beautiful as well.      

If I was going to look for a guy that loved Jesus, I wanted to show others that I loved Him too. In order to do this, I was careful of how I spoke to others. I wanted to be nice and kind. I wanted to make sure that the words that came out of my mouth were honoring to God and not disappointing him. I wanted others to see my love for Jesus by my words and actions on an every day basis.

Another thing that I did was choose my friends wisely. If I started noticing that my friends were making bad decisions that I knew would disappoint God, I started hanging out with them less and less. Be careful of the friends that you choose to associate with, because many times they can get you in trouble.

The next big decision I made was in regards to kissing. I decided that I was not going to kiss a guy unless I knew for sure that they could take care of my heart and my feelings. I heard about a lot of girls that would kiss boys whenever they wanted, even if they weren’t in a committed relationship. And then that boy would break their heart and they would be left in a path of devastation. Or I saw girls that thought if they didn’t have their first kiss by a certain age, then that meant they were uncool. I chose to not believe in those lies. Choosing to not believe those lies has led me to being almost 30 years old and no first kiss yet. And I don’t regret it for one single second. You will never regret saving your kisses for as long as you can.

It is not a rule that you shouldn’t kiss until you are 30, although I am sure many dads in here wish that it could be. I am not telling you girls that you have to wait until you turn 30 to kiss boys. You won’t find that written in the Bible, unless your dad writes it in there. But God wants you to choose purity and that IS in the Bible. I am telling you that you need to listen to what God wants for you. Don’t feel like you have to be like everyone else – that you need to have a boyfriend and kiss in middle school or high school. Remember that doing it God’s way will save you from a lot of hurt in the end.  

Galatians 6:9 says,

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do no give up.”

Do not give up girls, staying within God’s boundaries for our lives may not always be easy, but it will always be worth it, always, every single time.

---

I know this was a long one, so if you are still reading, thanks for your time. I hope in some small way maybe you found something encouraging. Or maybe just intriguing.

Thanks Dad, for still being the man that holds my heart and for always wanting to go on dates with me.

I’ll pick back up with more dates next weekend with MR. KJWTS.

Until then.

7 dates and counting down.

Mr. Well Traveled and I had a date planned for Sunday. Remember him? I wrote about him in my post titled “A Cancelled Date 17.” Here is a quick summary of our history planning this date. We originally planned to go out in January and then I had a free evening one night, so I asked him if he wanted to move it up to December. He agreed, but then the next day said his mom was sick and he needed to move it back to January. But then he texted me again the next day and said that his mom was okay now and that he could still go out on the date if I still wanted. I had come down with a horrible cold the night before and just ended up staying home. So our date was set back to January. THEN I got sick again, this time with the flu and had to cancel our date planned for the Saturday of MLK weekend and postpone it to this weekend. I thought he would have given up on me by then, but he said he was still interested.

During the last couple months, he would text me every few days. The simple, “hey – how was your day” type of texts. I have a hard time having motivation answering those texts to people that I have not even met yet. I know that it is a conversation starter, but it usually leaves me answering, “good, you?” with a response of “that’s good, mine was good too” And then I’m bored. So a few times, Mr. Well Traveled and I would have those conversations and a few times I might not have responded. I started wishing that I hadn’t given out my number to guys that I haven’t even gone out with yet. Because in the midst of the “how was your day” texts with Mr. Well Traveled, my next weekend date and I were having the same conversations. Let’s call him Mr. P because his first name starts with a P and since I haven’t met him yet, I really do not know much about him at all.

Mr. Well Traveled wanted to step it up and move our texting conversations to phone conversations. I had already told him a few times that I preferred texting because I was not a phone talker. I don’t even talk on the phone with Mr. Knows Just What To Say. And after talking all day in my classroom teaching, I am not jumping for joy to talk some more with a guy that I have not even met yet. He didn’t really get the hint, even though I wasn’t sure how to make it much more clearer and he called a few times. Most of the time I would not answer, one time I did because I just felt badly. During that time we talked about what we would do on our date, even though it was pretty much already planned through text a few days prior. After deciding on going to the movie “Into The Woods” and dinner afterwards, he began asking the normal first date questions. “What do you like to do for fun?” I can’t remember if I answered him or not but then I told him that since we were meeting in a few short days on Sunday, maybe we can just have this conversation in person. He said okay and then joked that he hoped I didn’t get sick. I was hoping the same exact thing.

On Saturday, I was with some friends traveling to a basketball game over two hours away. I was driving but saw that Mr. Well Traveled texted. After about ten minutes, my phone began blowing up with text messages from him and I handed the phone to my best friend in the passenger seat to read them. Here is a condensed version of what she read to me.

“I wanted to talk to you, but you’re not responding.”

“I know you are busy, I don’t think this is going to work out, I am cancelling our date. I just started thinking about how you were going out on dates with other people and I don’t think I need to be apart of that.”

When I saw that, I understood. I have started feeling a bit badly going out on dates with other guys knowing how much I like Mr. KJWTS. I have been trying to figure out exactly how to handle it. I am so close to the end, that I don’t want to give it up now. If I made all of the rest of the dates with Mr. KJWTS, we would literally have to go out on a date every weekend until my birthday and our schedules just don’t align for that to happen. Mr. KJWTS is fine with me finishing my 30 dates with other guys because he told me that he knew what he was getting himself into in the beginning when I told him about my 30 dates. However, now I am feeling badly for the other guys. I don’t want them to feel used just so I can meet a quota. That is why before we agree on a date, I usually ask them if they are okay with going out on a first date, knowing I am going out on dates with other guys as well. I try to explain to them that I am not looking for a husband, just a fun evening together. Some guys are not okay with this and I totally understand. I wonder how I would react if the situation was reversed. However, some guys are all about it. They tell me that it takes the pressure off of them for a first date and that they would rather be out on a date than sitting home for an evening, so why not.

So the fact that Mr. Well Traveled had a change of heart was okay. I couldn’t blame the guy. But my phone kept lighting up. He kept going.

“I joined eharmony to find a wife.”

“I live about an hour away from you and I have a shop here and I am about to close on a new home, so unless you can see yourself moving here and starting a family, I don’t think we would work.”

“You are attending college and you have a life where you are, so I couldn’t ask you to give all of that up.”

“And I really don’t want to see Into The Woods anyway, it is a musical and I just don’t want to see that.”

“I am sorry that I am coming clean this way, but we don’t have the luxury to talk in person about this.”

“We can still be friends if you want, but I don’t want to be selfish.”

Ummm, wow. Thankfully I was not sick this weekend, but I think I might have just experienced word vomit.  He would have been fine stopping after the first two messages. I understood then. So when we got to the game about 30 minutes later I texted him back.

Me: “I understand, we are probably looking for two different things right now. You are looking for a wife and I am looking to go out on a date. Sorry I didn’t respond right away, I was driving.”

Him: “No problem. Take care. No feelings hurt. Take care.”

Me: “Thanks, I wish you the best Mr. Well Traveled.”

Him: “You’re still pretty hot and I wish I was able to meet you, but my life is busy now still.”

Me: “It’s okay.”

Him: “It’s okay.”

And that was the end of that. Oh dear.

And then literally in the midst of that conversation, Mr. P (my next Sunday’s date) texted me and said that he was going to have to cancel our date. I think I might have literally laughed out loud. I wrote him back and said that I hoped I didn’t do anything wrong, but that I understood. He wrote back and said that he actually met another girl that he was going to pursue. I appreciated his honesty and was actually pretty excited for him. I told him that and we wished each other the best. At least that conversation didn’t leave my head spinning.

Maybe I should try my hardest to just go out on the rest of my dates with Mr. KJWTS. Maybe these cancellations were steering me that way.

And speaking of Mr. KJWTS, he was my date 22.

Let’s back up.

Earlier in the week, Mr. KJWTS and I had a texting conversation that left my feelings hurt. I am not going to go into detail but the gist of it was that we were not communicating the best about a particular topic and he didn’t really know just what to say that evening. I blame it on text because I am sure it would have been handled a lot better if it was a phone or a in person conversation. We ended the conversation stating that we would talk about it in person the next time we saw each other. I went to bed that night kinda sad but it didn’t leave me wanting to run. And that was a good thing. We had experienced a small “conflict” and all I could think about was that I wanted to work it out, no matter how much energy it took. I was hoping he felt the same way.

On Thursday evening, I told him that I missed him and that I wished we could see each other tomorrow. I didn’t think it was a possibility, especially on a Friday night, I was just telling him my wishful thinking. However, he surprised me and suggested that he drive down after work so we could go to dinner. After a few more texts of trying to decide if he was really serious, we had a plan. Part of the plan included him getting a hotel room to stay the night, so we could do brunch the following morning as well. Needless to say, I was excited and it made my day at work go a lot better, knowing I could spend the evening with him.

I got home from work that day, earlier than I ever have before and began cleaning my house. I reapplied my make-up, changed my clothes and as I was brushing my teeth, the doorbell rang.

After about an hour of deciding what to do and where to eat for the evening, we headed to dinner. Originally we planned to go see a movie afterwards but we both started calculating the time and realized that sitting in a movie might not be the best way to spend our short night together. So we just went to Starbucks instead. I was waiting for him to bring up “our tabled conversation” from earlier in the week, but he never did and I must admit I was a bit disappointed about that. But it didn’t seem to affect our time together and we had a good evening and Iaughed quite a bit. I always love when he laughs at the things I say. I, of course, didn’t want the night to end, but was extremely thankful that I knew we would have a bit more time in the morning. By this time, it was pretty late, so I am sure he was glad he didn’t have to drive two hours back home. After deciding on a time to go to brunch in the morning, he dropped me back off at my house and then headed to the hotel.

The next morning (well it was late morning -10:30 am- we both like to sleep in) he picked me up. When I opened the door he said, “You look beautiful this morning.” That was a nice way to start my day. We headed to a restaurant he had found to eat. Halfway through our meals, I couldn’t take it any longer. I came to the realization that he probably was not going to bring up the hard topic that needed to get discussed from earlier in the week. So I brought it up. As we discussed it, I found myself getting teary eyed. Once when I was talking, my voice got a little shaky and I think my eyes got watery. He looked at me and reached his hand out over the table. I put my hand in his and he said that he wished he could hug me right now. I told him that I was about to cry right now. He said, “I know, that is why I wish I could hug you.”

We talked for a few more minutes and ended the conversation with how to communicate better in the future. We have a small difference in how we communicate, so we realize that we will have to find a balance. We got up to leave and when he stopped by the register to pay for our meal, I walked outside. I still felt tears stinging my eyes and I was trying to hold myself together.

When he came outside, I think he could tell I was still sad, but he didn’t know what to say and we got in his car. He turned to kiss my cheek and I think I let a few tears drop. On the way home, we spent a few minutes in silence and then I grabbed his hand and said, “I still like you.” I think that was the first time I initiated the hand holding. He responded with, “I still like you too.” After another minute, he lifted up my hand and kissed it. He told me, “Holding hands with you means more to me than it ever did before because I know it is not a common thing for you to do.” I appreciated that comment and told him that I was glad he felt that way. He also glanced at me and said, “When you hurt, I hurt” and lifted my hand again to kiss it. I felt a bit silly for being emotional, but all girls are at some point, right? So even though I was hurting a bit, a part of me felt closer to him through this experience. I turned to him and said, “We will get better at communicating through the hard stuff.” He said, “Yes, we will get better.” I was relieved that he agreed with me because there were times during our conversation that I wondered if he would just end whatever we had going. Relationships have hard points and when both parties are willing to go through those points together and have those more difficult conversations, then the relationship can only grow. Although, I am fully aware that sometimes relationships just end when difficult times arise. Marriage is about promising to work through the hard times no matter what. Marriage is a commitment. But in dating, the other person is free to leave whenever they want. And I was not ready for this to end with Mr. KJWTS, so I am glad he agreed with me. We would get better.

We got back to my house and sat outside on my back porch for awhile. We were waiting until my best friend got home and I was excited to introduce them to each other. They had both heard a lot about the other person, but this would be the first time they met. When she got home, we talked for a bit longer outside and then it was time for him to leave. We hugged goodbye and he pulled away. As he left, I couldn’t help but feel blessed. He had driven to see me after a full day of work on Friday and spent $100 on a hotel room to be able to stay and see me again in the morning. And as hard as our brunch conversation was, it needed to happen. We needed to learn how to work out our misunderstandings.

When he got home he texted me and said, “Thank you so much for this weekend…every bit of it! And I miss you already…every part of you!”

I was already looking forward to the next time I saw him.

8 dates and counting down.

January was a rough month when it came to dates. I spent the first weekends of the month finishing a GRAD school paper that I saved until pretty much the last minute and then spent Martin Luther King weekend in bed for nearly four straight days. I had to cancel two dates that weekend and was starting to feel a bit nervous about getting in these last 10 dates. However, after this date 21, I have 9 more dates and I just so happen to have 9 more weekends until my birthday, so I am still okay, as long as all this sickness starts to stay the heck away from me.

I had this date planned with Mr. Knows Just What To Say since our last date. So even though I had cancelled two dates the weekend prior and I was still not feeling my 100% best, there was no way I was going to cancel this date with him. I had been looking forward to it for …oh…about the entire month. He texted me a few days prior to our date and asked me to rate how I was feeling based on a percentage. I answered him with 73% and he asked if I was still willing to drive to see him on Saturday. I replied right away with a simple affirming  – yes. He texted back and said “I love that you have no hesitations about coming to visit me because A) I really miss you and B) that means you are very comfortable being with me if you still want to be around me when you are only feeling 73%.” He was right, I did feel comfortable around him and I missed him too. I told him that the question was whether he wanted to be around ME when I was only feeling 73%. He answered with “I would still want to be with you and take care of you even if you were only at 7.3%.”

He has a way of making me feel taken care of even from almost two hours away. I hate that by the way, how far he lives, I mean. It makes our dates very spread out. But then again, the time periods that we go without seeing each other makes each date with him more exciting. And I usually don’t get excited about too many things…

Leading up to our date on Saturday, he said he had somewhere in mind where he wanted to take me, but I needed to get to his house no later than 2pm because the place closed around 4. I was trying to shoot for 2, but the night before I was exhausted from working a week when I was only 73%. I knew I needed Saturday morning to sleep in (which is my favorite thing to do) and then I had several errands to run since nothing got accomplished after work hours that week. So on Friday night, I texted him and asked him how mad he would be if I didn’t make it to his house by 2 after all. His response was perfect and exactly what I needed to hear after a stressful week – are you surprised? He said “No worries, I want you to get plenty of sleep and if you don’t get here in time, we will just do something else. Seriously, I want you rested, so don’t rush at all.”

By the time I was ready to leave my house, I knew I wouldn’t get to his house until a bit after 4. I felt badly that I was going to be almost 2 hours late and asked him right before I left if he was mad that it was going to be so much later than planned. Again, he wrote back and told me not to rush. His exact response was, “I treasure ANY time I get to spend with you and I know that I am never guaranteed even another minute with you.” I was very relieved at his answer, but his cute little texts were making me wish I had a whole stinkin’ week to spend with the guy!

I got in the car and headed his way, mad at myself for cutting out two hours of spending time with him. But I was excited for my date 21, my 8th date with MR. KJWTS! I even remembered to get a picture this time!

On the drive to his house, feeling maybe about 81% health wise, I started wondering what we were going to do since I ruined whatever his other plan was. Part of me secretly wished he would pick dinner up again (like he did on our date 3) and we could eat “in” and relax on the couch and catch up on our last month apart. But I didn’t want him to think I was boring, so I wasn’t going to suggest it. My best friend always tells me that I am going to need to find another “homebody” like myself for compatibility. I can’t say I disagree.

When I got there, he was just pulling up from running errands himself. He got out of his car and through several coughs on my part (still trying to get over that bronchitis), I apologized for being late and then for coughing. He hugged me and as we went inside, through more coughing, I began mumbling about how I didn’t think I was contagious so he didn’t have anything to worry about. He smiled and kissed my forehead and told me he missed me.

After catching up a bit, I asked what he wanted to do since I ruined his first plan. He told me that he was thinking we could just stay in for the night and he could go pick up some Japanese food like he did last time and we could just relax and watch TV on the couch, since I still wasn’t feeling the greatest. I secretly wanted to ask him if there was a little messenger that told him secrets about what I was thinking. How else could he keep doing things so… right? But instead I just told him that his plan sounded perfect.

After we finished eating, he told me about a “guys weekend” he had a few weekends ago. During that weekend, he told his friends about me and the 30 dates adventure and blogging. He told me that his friends searched my name and found this blog. I had previously asked Mr. KJWTS to not search for my blog, because I didn’t want him to read my posts about other dates and I liked reading my posts about our dates to him. He said he wouldn’t. But after his friends found my blog (I am not sure if or how many posts they read), I figured he might have read some posts too. When I asked him, he said he didn’t. So he asked me if I was going to read him our date 6. I had read him our first 4 dates previously and he wrote half of date 5’s post, so he just hadn’t heard dates 6 and 7 yet. I told him I would and then ended up reading him my “Just a Kiss” blog post and our date 7 blog post as well. It’s always fun reading him the posts because he learns more about what goes on in my head and he usually ends up smiling the whole time.

Later we started to take down his Christmas tree and finished the night watching television. The date was not too exciting and most people would probably find it boring. He actually told me, “good luck with writing this blog post.” I laughed and had been wondering what I would write about, but to me, the date was perfect. Sure, there will be times that I hope our dates are like real date dates and we go out somewhere, but for right now I like that I can be with him and do pretty much “nothing” and still have a good time. That’s a good sign folks.

One point he got up to get me a drink and came back and asked if I needed anything else. I told him that I needed him to stop time because I waited too long to be on this date with him and now it was coming to an end. He said he would if he could, but all he could do is turn his clocks back himself. I was half tempted to make him do it, although we would only be fooling ourselves. So reality set in and I got ready to leave.

Eventually I left his house to make the trek back home. He walked me out and we hugged goodbye. I told him I would see him in a few weeks and he rolled his eyes at the frustration of another three weeks going by until our next date. We are both busy the next two weekends. I laughed because I felt the same way. I got into my car and he leaned in and kissed my forehead and said, “Goodnight Beautiful.”

As I drove home, he texted me and told me that he missed me already. I knew what he meant, because I missed him too. My own feelings have been surprising myself lately. On my drive home I began thinking about what a blessing it was to like a guy and to know without a shadow of a doubt he likes you back. When that happens, it pretty much feels like a miracle taking place, I know because I have spent a decade wondering what it would feel like. As always, I know that feelings are free agents and dating is anything but secure. The journey is still a bit scary but in a fun sort of way.

9 dates and counting down. On to the single digits!

As we begin the new year, it is quite normal to reflect back on the previous year. During my reflections, I am still blown away that my 2014 ended the way it did. 20 dates in 3 months is ridiculous. At least for me. A year ago, I would never have imagined that I would get such a crazy idea, try it out, and have it actually work – so far, at least. Now that 2015 has begun, I am less than three months away from my 30th birthday. I am now finally able to think about turning 30 without breaking out into a cold sweat, so we are making progress.

My last date of 2014 was with Mr. Knows Just What To Say. This was now our 7th date. Now that you know my story of kissing or should I say, lack there of (see the last blog post – Just A Kiss), I figured I would update you on how that information was relayed to Mr. KJWTS. It was our 5th date and I was at his house (see blog post 15th is the 5th). I was starting to get nervous about the end of our date, even though it was hours away. Most guys would expect a kiss by the end of date 5, right?! My date number 12, Racer Dude had already explained that he usually kisses on the 3rd date. And while I realize all guys and all situations are different, I was thinking date 5 might be the date that Mr. KJWTS went in for a kiss. And I just wasn’t ready. But I didn’t want him to think that I didn’t like him. How was I going to handle this?

On our date 5, we were sitting on the couch, when I finally turned to him and asked, “So, can I ask you a question? What if it takes me a long time to kiss you?!” He smiled at me and said, “What does a long time mean? Like 3 hours?, and he gave me a cute look with a sly little grin. “Or do you mean more like, 3 days or 3 months? or 3 years?!” I told him I honestly wasn’t sure, but I highly doubt it would be 3 years – ha. And then he asked a  follow up question that I knew was coming after I brought up the topic of kissing.

“Have you ever kissed a guy before?” he asked. 

I let out the breath that I am sure I was holding and told him I hadn’t. And there it was, the question I always wondered myself, was finally answered. Would I tell a guy that I was dating that I had never kissed? After I told him that, he told me that he kind of figured. He said that after our second date, he was showing one of his best friends and his best friend’s wife a video clip of the both of us on our first date at the zoo that we recorded. Afterwards he said to them, “I don’t think this girl has ever kissed anyone before.” The wife said, “Nahh, she is too pretty to not have kissed.” I smiled when he told me that and told him a little bit of my decision regarding the whole not kissing thing. Then I asked him again, how he felt about waiting a bit. He told me he would wait until I was ready. Of course, that was a great answer and what I needed to hear. We didn’t talk about it again until this date.

But let me back up a bit. We had already talked about having our date be on New Year’s Eve, although we didn’t make any definite plans. But then my co-workers and I planned on meeting up on December 30th for an evening of dinner and bowling. As we were figuring out numbers, they asked me if I was going to bring Mr. KJWTS. I smiled and told them I may be able to work something out. So while we were on date 6, I asked him how he felt about coming back the following week for a date 7 with me and my co-workers! His work schedule was pretty flexible over the holidays, so he said he would plan on taking that day off and joining us. I was excited because most of my co-workers have been keeping up with my dates through my blog posts and I have felt their love and support from the very beginning.

Prior to our date, he had asked me what time I wanted him to come to my house. The plan was to meet my co-workers at Mellow Mushroom (a pizza restaurant) at 4:30, so I told him anytime between 1 and 4. He chose 1:00, I was not surprised. The next morning, he texted me and asked me how mad would I be if he came 30 minutes early. I told him that was fine and thought it was cute that he wanted to begin our date earlier than planned. We also talked about still being together on New Year’s Eve as well, since that was the original plan. He asked if I could handle seeing him on back to back days. I told him I could and that my freakout meter had been unusually quiet lately.

As I was anticipating his arrival, I went to the store for some snacks and sat those out when he arrived. As he walked up to my door, he leaned down to pick up a package that had been delivered on my porch. He walked in and hugged me and then handed me the package and said I had a delivery. I looked confused and grabbed the package, knowing I had not ordered anything recently. As I went to get some scissors to open it, he said, “I think I know what that is.” He had ordered another game for us to play and had it shipped to my house that day. The game is called Rush Hour.

Even though it appears to be a child’s game, it is much harder than it looks. It is a logic game and like a puzzle. It reads “ages 8 to adult,” because each card is a different difficulty level. He told me he just played it at one of his friend’s house, whose daughter got the game for Christmas and that the advanced level was even hard for him. He thought it would be fun for us to figure it out together and I am all about some puzzles. So we began our date, eating some snacks and playing Rush Hour.

After a few rounds of the game, we sat back on the couch and I put my feet in his lap. We were on opposite sides of the couch and as he looked at me, he said, “You look beautiful – like always – but I guess more so after so much time has gone by since the last time I saw you.” I reminded him that it had only been just over a week since we last saw each other but I told him that was sweet of him to say, I mean his name is Mr. Knows Just What To Say for a reason. Which reminded me of my blog posts and I asked him if he wanted to hear our date 4 post. I had already read him the posts from our first 3 dates on previous dates, so this time I read him our date 4 blog post. After I finished, I asked him if it was still okay that I was blogging about our dates or if it was starting to make him uncomfortable as we went out more. He told me he was fine with it. I went on to explain that even though several of my friends were reading about our dates, I didn’t want that to influence him to keep seeing me. I told him, “If you ever feel like this isn’t working out between us, please don’t feel like you can’t tell me because you are afraid of letting people down.” He nodded and then a few seconds later he came closer to me on the couch and whispered, “I am not going anywhere” and kissed my forehead.

A little while later, we left to meet my team members. As we were driving to the restaurant, he asked if my co-workers knew about him. I told him that of course they did and not only that, but they probably knew about each one of our dates as well, since most of them kept up with my blog posts. I looked over at him and smiled and he went to put his hand on my knee. However, my hand was there, so he ended up touching my hand instead. He grabbed my hand and then looked at me and said, “Is this okay?” I told him it was and he smiled and said, “Okay, because it’s kind of like holding hands.” “I know,” I told him and smiled back. I didn’t freak out, that was a good sign.

Later, we walked into the restaurant and most of my co-workers were already there sitting down at the table. “Hey everyone! This is Mr. KJWTS!” I used his real name of course and then I turned to him and said, “And this is everyone!” It felt good to introduce them to him. But it certainly was different for me and felt a little weird. Later when we were at our seats, I turned to him and went around the table explaining who each person was and what they taught. I figured, I would give him a quiz over that later. After a few formative assessments first, of course.

We ordered a pizza to split and when it arrived, he put a slice on my plate first. After one more piece for me and a few more for him, we all finished. I got up to use the restroom and on my return, ran into a former student from 4 years ago. As I was catching up with her, I told her, “Look over there, I brought a guy tonight!” Her and her friends secretly stole a glance to our table, where I had left Mr. KJWTS by himself. “Oh, I see him!” one of the girls said and I smiled and said, “It feels a bit weird to have brought a guy.” My former student said, “Good job, I am proud of you!” and went to give me a high five. I laughed and went back to our table. Soon after, we left to go bowling.

During the first game, I think I might have bowled the best game in my life! I usually have a hard time getting a score over 100, but my score was way over that. So I was feeling pretty proud. Mr. KJWTS tried his best to beat me, but unfortunately for him, he bowled one of his worst games. I was a bit amused watching him smile and say “Good Job” to me, although I knew deep down, he was wishing that he was winning. It was one thing to beat him at a board game, but another to beat him at a sport. Wait – is bowling a sport?

During the course of the evening, he would put his arm around me often and at one point, he leaned over and whispered, “You are doing pretty well with letting me touch you in front of other people.” I smiled back at him and was actually a bit proud of myself for that too. We ended our second game, and he won by 10 points, but that still wasn’t something to be proud of because neither one of us made It over 100 that time.

Oh well, you win some, you lose some.

The next day was New Years’ Eve and even though a few days prior I didn’t really know what we were going to do, one of my best friends invited us over to spend the evening with her and her family. I decided to just include both days as my date 20 though, because they happened so close together. So I will be brief with the rest of the details, to not drag this post on any longer.

Around 6:00, Mr. KJWTS and I headed over to my friend’s house. I have been over their house hundreds of times, but this time was definitely different because of bringing a date with me. However, as different as it was, I was looking forward to introducing him to them. We ate dinner shortly after arriving and then spent the evening watching a few fireworks and playing a game. We both really enjoyed our time. I am usually the 3rd wheel, or 5th wheel or 7th wheel, so it felt good to have an even amount of wheels for once. We left around 10:30 and went back to my house to finish out 2014.

When we got back, I went to the kitchen to get us some drinks and began silently wondering if he was expecting a New Year’s kiss. My freakout meter may have slowly started to rise. We hadn’t talked about kissing since the day I first brought it up. Was he going to be mad at me or disappointed if the night didn’t end like most couples’ nights? Wait, were we a couple?

While I was in the kitchen, he came up behind me and hugged me and kissed the top of my head. I turned around in his arms and asked him how his patience was holding up in regards to still not kissing. He smiled and asked me, “So what is a kiss to you? Is it just a kiss or does it mean more?” I explained my thoughts to him, a bit better this time, and asked him if he understood where I was coming from or if this was too hard for him to comprehend. I was not apologizing for waiting, but a part of me did feel badly for him, knowing most likely he would have gotten a New Year’s kiss if he was with any other girl. But, he told me that he understood me. Then he kissed my cheek and said, “I would wait forever.” Then after kissing my cheek again, he said, “Well maybe not forever.” I laughed and we headed to the couch to watch the ball drop.

When he left my house, he said, “Well, if you want to see me again, we will have to wait awhile.” He had already told me that he would be out of town the next few weekends. I answered him with “Of course, I want to see you again.” But I think he already knew that. He held my head and said goodbye and said, “I will miss this face the most.”

Almost immediately after he left, I began to miss him, so I wrote him an email of the things that he did while we were together that I loved. One included how easily he interacted with my friends and co-workers and another one being how respected I felt that he wasn’t giving me a hard time about waiting to kiss. I went on to list several more things as well.

When he got home, he wrote back and a part of his email said this:

“I can’t tell you how incredibly touching this was that you wrote this for me. I will certainly treasure this!  Neither of us know if/when this journey will end, but my goal is to leave you better than I found you and to let you feel a minuscule glimpse of Christ’s sacrificial love for you. I didn’t do any of those things you listed to make you love that action or aspect of me. I simply enjoy making you happy and seeing you smile gives me some mystical fuel that gives me energy and desire to make you smile again. That is something that I’ve never experienced before, so to me, that is what is most special about you.”

I am starting to feel a bit weird writing about my dates with Mr. KJWTS because the more that we start to like each other, I am thinking people may not want to read all of this “lovey dovey” stuff. I never would have imagined that 7 (and counting) out of my 30 dates would have been with the same guy, so I am not so sure how to handle this.

But thanks for taking this journey with me thus far.

10 dates and counting down. Until I schedule a date with those “January guys” that I talked about in my date 17 blog posts. But no more dates until I finish a GRAD school paper. Because writing blog posts is unfortunately just way more fun.

Have you kissed him yet?! If you’re a female reader, I am sure that might be one question that is in the forefront of your mind as you read my dates with Mr. Knows Just What To Say. If you’re a male, you might be thinking, “If not, I am surprised Mr. KJWTS is even sticking around.” And yes, quite frankly I am too, but I don’t apologize for it. So there is your answer. No we haven’t kissed, even after our date 7 (which will be the next post) this past week. Sorry if the title of this post misled you 😉

In 2011, Lady Antebellum released a song titled “Just a Kiss.” Lady A is one of my favorite Country bands. I am sure you have heard the song, here are some of the lyrics:

“I’ve never opened up to anyone
So hard to hold back when I’m holding you in my arms
We don’t need to rush this
Let’s just take it slow

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright
No I don’t want to mess this thing up
I don’t want to push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
Be the one I’ve been waiting for my whole life
So baby I’m alright, with just a kiss goodnight”

Obviously it is about not wanting to ruin a good thing by moving too fast, so instead they will end the night with just a kiss goodnight. I like that song, because I think it has a good message. Moving too fast, especially physically in a relationship, can allow the couple to miss out on such sweet times of getting to know one another without the pressures of how far to go physically. End the night with just a kiss.

But deep down, I always had a bit of a problem with that song and that is because to me, a kiss, is more than JUST a kiss.

Let me give you some background. But before I do, I wanted to let you know that I was hesitant in sharing what I am about to write. I am very open and honest about my thoughts in these blog posts, because I want to be real and authentic with those that choose to read my story. Because if it were me, I wouldn’t want to read blog posts full of fluff. We all have better things to do with our lives. So, as I type my honest feelings into these posts, I pray that somehow, my words will touch someone in someway. So even though being authentic is nothing new to these blog posts, I am about to share something much more personal. And it’s in regards to my past decision about kissing.

So here it is: I am about to be 30 in less than three months and I have never been kissed.

Sweet 16 and never been kissed, sounds cute and sweet and innocent. 30 and never been kissed, sort of just sounds down right…weird. So when I was younger, I had no problem sharing that I was waiting for the right time to kiss and that right time just never presented itself. But now, in my “older age,” I have shied away with sharing this information as much. Although my mom still likes to share it pretty often 🙂 It’s because she is proud of me and I love her for that. It’s kind of like how my dad used to love telling people that his daughter had never received a speeding ticket before. I said, “used to” because I ruined that in 2008.

Have I mentioned that I have great parents? Their support and love and guidance make me feel like a very blessed daughter. I couldn’t imagine “doing life” with anybody else.

The reason I was hesitant to share my lack of experience in kissing, is not because I am embarrassed about it and it’s certainly not because I wish it weren’t true. It’s because with it, comes a bit of an explanation. And, I certainly don’t want others to feel like I am judging them when they choose to kiss on the first date or second date or third date for that matter. Everyone is different and God calls His children to have different life stories. Many Christians even have different convictions from one another and as long as it lines up with God’s Word, it doesn’t make one person “more right” than the other.

So this is my story. And remember, I don’t expect everyone to agree or even to understand. However, as I was praying about whether to approach the topic of kissing in a blog post, I thought that if God has allowed this to be apart of my story, maybe it is for a reason greater than myself. Maybe it is meant to be shared.

I am not sure how it all came about, maybe it was the Christy Miller books (fiction books for Christian teens) that I poured over as a teenager, fantasizing what it would be like to have a healthy God- centered relationship like the two main characters, Christy and Todd. In one of the books, towards the end of the series, I remember Christy explaining (I know, I talk about her like she is a real person), that even though her and Todd were engaged, she wanted to be careful about how long they spent kissing because that would lead to other temptations. At one point she described it as like she was saving her kisses up in a piggy bank for her future husband.

I am sure reading those books were influential in my life, but other factors went into my decision. It might have also been because when I was 16, I chose to protect my heart against guys that were not living for the Lord or guys that were just not right for me period. That decision was made after I found myself easily falling for a smooth talker with a great smile, but I knew his values didn’t line up with my own. I knew that in order to protect my heart, I had to make sure I didn’t kiss the boy. We would still hang out, which of course made me like him more, but I was 16, I had a hard time staying away. Thankfully I was able to keep my “no kissing him” rule though. At one point, he shared with one of my best friends that he was going to kiss me on a particular night. She looked at him and just started laughing and she might have even muttered “good luck.” And because I did like him (a lot), maybe I would have kissed him, maybe I wouldn’t have been able to hold up to the temptation. I am honestly not sure. But what happened was God intervened somehow, because that night, he didn’t even try. Maybe it had to do with my friend laughing at him.

Once I made it past that crush in my life, I realized how great it was to walk away from him, knowing I didn’t even give him a kiss. It made it much easier to get over him. Although, I won’t lie, it still took months and a few tears. It was my first real crush, so you couldn’t expect much less.

I hung out with a few other guys after that but I never wanted to kiss them because I didn’t seem to like them as much as my first crush. And if I didn’t kiss my first crush, I didn’t think I needed to be kissing these other guys. This is when I started to realize that kissing was special to me. It wasn’t JUST a kiss or JUST something to do to end the night together. Kissing to me, meant I really liked the guy, like really really liked him. Kissing meant I fully trusted the guy and I could see “our hanging out” leading to a real full fledge relationship.

In college, I met a godly guy that had also never kissed a girl before. I found that out after a few dates in. At first I thought that must mean he is the one for me, what other college guy would have the same stance on kissing as me?! But then my freakout meter probably got the best of me, either that or we just figured out that we weren’t right for each other and that was over. That made me realize, that the guy that I dated or kissed or married one day, didn’t necessarily have to hold the same convictions that I held in regards to kissing in their past relationships. That wasn’t as important as some other areas.

And when I say convictions, it doesn’t mean I am waiting until my wedding day to kiss. It doesn’t even mean that I am waiting until we are engaged. I don’t know how long I will wait. Maybe it will be date 8 with Mr. KJWTS, maybe it will be on my date 30. Maybe I will wait longer… I don’t know. But now that I have waited so long, whether I like it or not, kissing is going to mean that I am giving a little piece of my heart away. So that is big.

I always wondered when I actually started “dating-dating” if I would end up telling the guy that I have never kissed before or just letting it happen, with him not having that knowledge. I thought maybe he should know, so he would understand why it might take me awhile. But then again, I also knew that by telling him, a ton of pressure would come along with that. Did I want him to feel that much pressure?

And then there was another guy that told me that my inexperience would probably mean that I would not be a good kisser when the time came. He, jokingly, even offered to let me practice with him. I didn’t take him up on the offer, but I walked away having a hard time getting his words out of my head.  So much so, that I remember calling up one of my best guy friends and asking him if I was making a mistake by waiting so long. And his words felt like a blanket of comfort over my soul. He said to me, “Do you understand how rare you are? And how that is such a good thing. You are like a precious jewel that is very hard to find. Don’t for one second regret your purity in this area. Many guys would be blessed to date someone that had the same stance as you.” To this day, I repeat his words in my mind often. I am extremely thankful for that conversation.

In 2011, I remember having another one of my “Am I sure this is a good decision” moments and I emailed my pastor for his thoughts. People began telling me that the reason I wasn’t dating was because guys were too intimidated by me. I don’t know if they said that to make me feel better about my lack of dating experience or if they thought it was true. I just remember thinking, “Then what am I supposed to do? Am I going to live my life alone for the rest of my life?!” I remember one guy, a few years prior, who I liked at the time, telling me he was too scared to even hold my hand. I just searched my inbox again for my pastor’s response to my questions and his words were too good to not share.

Here was his response to me:

“You are running a good race and it is good to be picky, there are very few men who wouldn’t be intimidated by you, but you are looking for that one who is man enough not to be intimidated.  And the lies about your first kiss being awkward are the same lies other girls hear about having to discover sexual compatibility, pre marriage. The source of both of those lies are young men who have neither kissed enough or had sex enough to know what the heck they are talking about. Kisses and sexual relations are not driven by form or experience, they are driven by intimacy and nothing is more intimate than sharing those with only one person. Your first kiss will ignite every cell in your body and it will be something you will tell your sons and daughters about, as opposed to having to hide that information from your sons and daughters because it is not something you are proud of.”

That email response meant so much to me and it gave me the ability to further recognize any lies that popped up in the coming years. Those words are words that I want to pass along to every younger girl that I come into contact with. Am I telling them they have to wait until they turn 30 to kiss? Absolutely not. I just want them to be able to recognize the lies of this world and to not ever give in to a temptation because they feel pressured or forced into it. Our girls need to hear more of that.

And as I said at the beginning, I know some may think I am crazy. I have even felt “made fun of” a bit by some people regarding this decision. So you may even choose to stop reading my posts from here on out, because you feel “this girl” has gone off the deep end. But I don’t regret it. And I may be in the “deep end,” but I am not drowning, like many girls I have come in contact with because their choices have left them wounded and grasping for air. I do not (and I repeat … I DO NOT) think that I am any better than anybody else because of the decisions I  have made. I am a sinner saved by grace. But I have learned to swim in that deep end and I feel stronger because of it. Even though your story may be way different than mine, maybe just maybe parts of my story have left you feeling encouraged.

So there is my background story to my date 20 post (which was date 7 with Mr. KJWTS). When I started writing, I didn’t intend for it to be a separate blog post altogether, but that’s what happened.

Date 20 post will come in a couple of days, I promise.

One of the luxuries of being a teacher is having a two week Christmas break. Since I have begun teaching, at least a portion of my break has always been spent up North where I grew up. Most visits up North would consist of spending some quality time with my grandma. This year would be different after her passing in August. I had no desire to travel up to the cold state of Ohio for Christmas, but knew that staying home for two weeks straight would not give me anything to look forward to. After my grandmother’s passing, my mom and I were talking and we decided it would be fun to take a cruise the week of Christmas. This would give my parents and I something to look forward to and would save me from the sadness of going “home” to Ohio and not being able to see my grandma and paint her nails one more time.

So as Mom does best, she began planning our vacation and entered into a search for cruises online. Dad went along with our plans, as he does best, and our cruise was set. We were excited.

My best friend jokingly said that I should do a date on the cruise and I laughed.

And then later, another friend who would be “home” for Christmas asked if we would get to see each other. I told him we would not be making the annual trip North and that instead we were heading South to the Bahamas on a cruise! He texted back and said “You doing a date on the boat?” My reply was, “Haha, I don’t think so…”

And that was truth. I really didn’t think so. I don’t just get dates because they come out of thin air. I can’t just walk on a cruise ship and ask who wanted to take me out on a date. It takes a bit more than the snap of my fingers or a wrinkle of my nose. I had to join eharmony to get these 30 dates, remember?!

But it happened. My friends must have foreseen the future, because my date 19 was with a guy on the cruise ship. Here is the story and we will call him Jack because his first name really did start with a “J” and because what girl doesn’t wish to walk on a cruise ship and get swept off her feet by a guy like Jack Dawson on Titanic.

As nice as it would be to fall in love with someone that looks like Leonardo Dicaprio, I am very thankful our situation was not the same as the beloved love story of Titanic. No icebergs to be found in the Bahamas and we all safely walked off the ship five days later.

We began our cruise on a Monday and by Tuesday we discovered an area of the ship called “Serenity.” It was an area with no loud music or limbo contests, padded chairs and two hot tubs. You even had to be 21 years or older to enter. That was our kind of vacation. So Tuesday late afternoon, my mom and I were relaxing in the hot tub, when after awhile I left to go shower for dinner. My mom stayed in the hot tub and I think my dad was probably napping on one of the padded chairs. After I left, Jack and a girl entered the hot tub and my mom struck up a conversation with them, learning that they were brother and sister on a cruise without any other family members. They had been on several cruises before and neither one was dating anyone, so why not enjoy a cruise as siblings? They in turn asked her what made her decide to take a cruise over Christmas. My mom went on to explain that this was our first cruise and the reason we decided to come. She told them that she was here with her husband and daughter and then somehow my 30 dates got brought up. I think the transition happened when my mom explained that I went into a deep sadness after my grandma’s funeral and that eventually a month later I got a crazy idea to do 30 dates before I turned 30. These dates gave me something to look forward to and focus on other than my sadness. As she was explaining more about the process and the blog and even Mr. KJWTS to Jack and his sister, Jack mentioned that if I needed a date 19, to let him know. But then he added, “Or is she too out of my league?” My mom laughed and said, “Not out of your league, just way older than you.” Jack was about to turn 24. Eventually the conversation ended and Jack told my mom he would look for us at dinner.

When my mom returned to our room she told me the story about meeting Jack and his sister and I felt honored that he wanted to go out on a date with me, especially with not meeting me first. The first thought I had was, “Now that would be a good blog post!” However, without cell phone usage and over 2,000 people on board, I didn’t think it was very likely we would see him again. And I was right, we didn’t see him at dinner that night.

I pretty much forgot about it until the next night. My mom and I ventured back to the “Serenity” deck to see how crowded the hot tubs were. During our journey, we accidentally walked into a room where live Karaoke was taking place. We walked in, realized our mistake and immediately walked back out. Soon after, Jack came running out and said, “I saw you guys walk in and I need to meet the famous daughter!” I was a bit confused and so was my mom at first, but she soon recognized that this was the same guy from the hot tub and she introduced me and then called my dad over to introduce him as well. He told me that he heard all about my 30 dates goal and then said, “So you are on date 19?” I nodded and smiled, thinking he was cuter than I expected and he continued on. “Well if you need a date 19, let me know,” he said. I told him that I would love for him to be my date 19. He then turned to my dad and said, “Is it okay if I take your daughter out on a date?” My dad laughed and told him that he was the first date to ask him that question. Jack seemed pretty smooth and confident and I was impressed. We set our date for Friday at 12:30. I asked him where we should meet and he suggested that he could pick me up at our room. I gave him our room number and date 19 was set. As he turned to leave my mom told him, “You are a very mature 24 year old.” He laughed, said thank you, and returned to the Karaoke room.

When Friday arrived, it was still warm enough to wear a sleeveless dress. I was excited about that because for some reason it is more fun going out on date in a dress. I pulled on my boots and waited for the knock on our cabin door.

A few minutes after 12:30, Jack came to pick me up and we set off to the restaurant for lunch. As I walked towards the elevators, he suggested we take the stairs. Even though it was about 5 or 6 stories up, I wasn’t going to disagree. We finally reached the dining room of the ship’s restaurant and I was hot from our mini workout. I picked up my menu to fan myself a bit and told Jack that it was hot in here. He agreed with me immediately and said he thought he was just hot because he was nervous. That was cute. I smiled and told him it really was hot in there.

After we ordered, he brought up the topic of my 30 dates. As he asked me a few questions about it, I thanked him for being willing to be my date 19. He told me that he figured he had nothing to lose and that it would provide some fun for the both of us. I agreed and he said, “It is not like I actually thought I had a chance with you anyway.” He went on to explain that he knew I was way out of his league and that I could probably get any guy in my own age range, I didn’t need to go down to his. Jack was quite the smooth talker ladies and gentleman (there has to be a few guys that read this blog, right?!).

During our lunch conversation, he asked me what kinds of qualities I was looking for in a man. My answer was that first and foremost he needed to have a strong faith and that from there the other qualities that I was seeking would probably line up. He asked me if it needed to be a certain faith and I nodded and went on to explain that I was looking for someone who lived for Jesus, who loved Him with his whole heart and that didn’t just live their life for their own pleasure. I went on to explain that I was looking for someone who had similar values and morals as myself. Jack asked me, “What if you found someone that had similar values and morals, lived their life for others, but didn’t necessarily claim that it was all for Jesus, would you date them?” I paused for a second, knowing full well that those who do not share the same faith as myself can look to Christians as judgmental and stuck up. That was the very last thing I wanted Jack to think about me. I smiled at him and shook my head. “No I wouldn’t,” I answered softly yet boldly. He began asking me questions about how I felt about certain controversial topics that Christians are known to stand against. I told him that I am aware that not everyone has the same beliefs that I do. I live my life based on what the Word of God says. I went on to explain that I understood that not everyone did that, so I could not judge others that lived their life different from mine. If they didn’t choose to live by the Bible, I couldn’t expect them to make the same choices and decisions that I did in life. I told him that I thought what I believed was the truth, or else I wouldn’t believe it, but that not everyone believed the Bible to be true and I understood that. I tried to explain to him that is why I needed to date someone compatible to me regarding my faith because if not, I believed we would clash in future decisions regarding our relationship. He nodded and told me that made perfect sense to him. Was I trying to get him to believe what I believed? No. It was not the time for that. I felt the Lord guiding me to show him that not all “Christians” are judgmental and get every chance they can to discuss what they are against. I don’t want to live my life letting everyone know what I am against. I want to show them what I am FOR. And I am FOR Jesus. I was just led to show him Christ’s love, even though Jack didn’t believe in Him. I later found out he was Jewish but not really practicing. He said he saw something beautiful in me and that he could tell from the minute he met me. He went on to explain that it was more than just my outside looks. I silently thanked Jesus right then and there for shining through me. I felt extremely blessed to be surrounded by the light of the Holy Spirit.

We were the last ones in the dining area for lunch and I suggested that we should probably go. As we got up to leave, he suggested we go to the deck below and sit at the bar awhile to continue talking. I agreed, actually happy that he still wanted to spend time with me even after all my “Jesus talk.”

At the bar, he ordered a drink for me stating that he needed to actually buy me something on this date, since the food is all inclusive, but the drinks were not. I gladly accepted and thought that was considerate of him. We talked about his job and that he lives in New York and he told me that I should come visit him sometime. He spent the next 5 minutes explaining where he would take me in the City if I ever ended up visiting him.

Towards the end of our date, he brought up Mr. KJWTS. My mom had mentioned him prior in the hot tub when they first met. He asked me if Mr. KJWTS had the qualities I was looking for. I told him that I thought so, but sometimes it still takes time to see if we are compatible. I told him we were on our 6th date. Jack shook his head and smiled and told me he was jealous but that was good for Mr. KJWTS. My heart melted a little. I enjoyed being around Jack and I told him that. I told him that he was very sweet, mature and confident and that I liked that. He told me that he has never met such a smart, beautiful, down to Earth woman before that made him change the way he thought about things. I told him I wish I could write that quote down for my blog, because that was the kindest thing he could have said to me. “It’s not like I am changing my beliefs,” he said, “You just have made me consider others a bit more.” I understood what he was saying.

Soon after, he said that he had to go meet up with his sister. He asked if I wanted to meet up with him later that night around 10pm. I told him I would and we parted ways.

I walked back to the room, thanking God for my date 19. My dad and I took a walk and I realized I didn’t have a 19 in my picture. So we went searching and found this.

I knew this was going to be a good blog post and I was already excited to write it. I thought it was great that I found the lifeboat with a number 19 on it, but thought it was even greater that we never had to use those boats. Again, thankful this was not the Titanic. Although I did have a new found craving to watch that movie again.

Later that evening, I changed into jeans, a nice top, and some new fancy earrings that my mom bought for me on the ship. I went to dinner with my parents and then came back to the room to freshen up my make-up and set off to meet Jack back at the bar at 10:00 on the dot. I didn’t see him when I arrived and walked around for a bit. After awhile, I sat down near the bar and waited. 10 minutes later, I did another round (of walking, not shots, mind you) and sat in a different spot closer to the bar. Then finally, after another 10 minutes went by, I decided he wasn’t going to show up. I waited around 5 more minutes to be safe and then went back to my room. I told my parents he didn’t show up and started getting ready for bed. I couldn’t really blame the guy. I just figured he probably met someone way more fun than me, who actually did rounds of shots 😉 My dad told me that I didn’t seem too disappointed and I told him I wasn’t. I got into bed but had a hard time falling asleep. As I tossed and turned, I wasn’t thinking about Jack and how he stood me up. Instead, I was thinking that in the morning I could finally turn on my phone and text Mr. KJWTS because we would be back at port.

The next morning, as we were leaving the ship to return to our car, Jack texted me. I forgot to mention that he had asked for my number on our date, but I didn’t have his. I was thinking I would never hear from him again. His text said:

“I’m sorry about last night. I ended up falling asleep on accident at 8pm and slept the rest of the night. I hope that you weren’t waiting for me too long. It was great meeting you. I’m glad we got to go on that date.”

I texted him back right away and told him that it was not a problem and that I was also glad we met and that I was very thankful he wanted to have lunch with me. I told him to have safe trip back to New York.

Yes, he stood me up. Who knows if he really did fall asleep or not. It doesn’t matter what happened, because he gave me this blog post to write about. So who can be mad about that?!?

11 dates and counting down. Until this weekend when I write about my 7th date with Mr. KJWTS that will be taking place this week.

Date 18 was my 6th date with Mr. Knows Just What To Say. So far dates 3, 9, 11, 14, 15 and 18 have all been with him. I sat here for about 20 minutes before starting this post trying to find a correlation between these numbers, the math teacher in me was certainly making an appearance. However 11 and 14 threw off the divisibility by 3 pattern and the Fibonacci sequence had no place in it at all. Oh well. I gave up and began the post.

Since Mr. KJWTS has been 6 out of my 18 dates, that means he has been a third of them. That is crazy to think about, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. On this date, I asked him how he was still feeling about me continuing these 30 dates (even though if things continue to go well, he is probably going to get quite a bit of my remaining dates). At the beginning of this journey, after meeting him, he said he was fine with the whole 30 dates thing. That was good, because if he wasn’t, I am not sure we would be where we are today. I don’t think I would have given it up for him so early on. However, now that we are spending more time together and feelings are growing a bit stronger, I wanted to make sure I was considering his feelings in this process and depending on his answer, I might have re-evaluated some things. He said he was still fine with it and I found myself breathing a sigh of relief. He told me at the beginning that he wants the best for me, so if I find that in another guy in my 30, he would be sad, but still happy for me. He said that still holds true for him. And for all I know, he could be going out on other dates as well.

On this date, I read him the blog post to our date 3 (my date 11, when it snowed and I postponed my date with Mr. Patient, to go to his house instead), and after he found out that I had cancelled a date that day, he told me he did too. I was actually kinda shocked. He said it was going to be a third date with a girl that he met either right before our first date or right after our first date, I couldn’t remember. But that after I said I would come to his house, he told her something had come up and cancelled and he hasn’t seen her since. That made me smile, but then it also made me realize that he WAS going out on other dates as well. Or at least he had, not sure if he still is, I didn’t ask. It didn’t bother me, because I, of course, have no room to talk. But apart of me did wonder if he was kissing any of them…

We had quite a bit of time in between our 5th and 6th dates and I realized that I missed him quite a bit. From December 5th through the 13th, he volunteered for a local Christmas charity that took up all his free time. Therefore, during that week, our texting was at a minimum. So going over 20 days from last seeing him and texting him less, the absence was making my heart grow fonder. However, I was a bit nervous that the absence was making his heart go wander (that phrase is courtesy of my best friend). A few days before our date, I had to just come out and ask him. Normally, I feel like his words are affirming, so I didn’t have to question him, but with his busy schedule, those were lacking. So I asked him ,”You still feeling ok about everything?” And by everything, I meant him and I, but he knew that already. He responded with “Yes, I’m looking forward to seeing you again.” The next day I even shared with him that before each past date, I would get nervous that when I saw him, I would realize that I didn’t like him as much as I thought, but now I was scared that when he saw ME, he would realize he didn’t like ME as much as he thought he did. His response was, “I’ll take that as a compliment and that you really like me and have grown much more comfortable with me. I’m really looking forward to spending the weekend with the most beautiful girl around!” That was cute, but it didn’t necessarily confirm his feelings. I kinda wanted him to tell me that I didn’t need to be scared about that, but I knew that it had been awhile since he saw me, so I couldn’t really expect more than that, right?

This is when I really realized how risky dating can be. He most certainly did not do anything wrong and his response was just fine. But I realized that with each day that passes by, you can never guarantee that the other person’s feelings will remain the same. Everyone, in the dating stages, has the right to change their mind. That is the beautiful, but also very scary part about dating. I am already “in it” pretty far with Mr. KJWTS (I know 6 dates to some is no big deal, but to me it is), that regardless what happens, if it didn’t end in a walk down the aisle, there will be some hurt feelings in the end. Whether it is me that changes my mind, or it is him that changes his mind or we just both realize that we are not compatible. I started getting nervous about getting my feelings hurt and then equally as nervous that I could be the one to hurt him. Here I go again, letting the uncertainty of the future cause anxiety in me. I needed to re-focus myself. We will be okay. I most certainly was not looking to marriage, even though most people like to jump there pretty quickly because of my age. I can barely see a month down the road, let alone think about marrying this guy. And that was okay.

That is the beauty of serving a Heavenly Father that loves us so much, because no matter what happens, no matter who comes in and out of my life, my identity is found in Jesus Christ alone. So that no matter what happens, I will be fine. Women (and men) that have not found their identity in Jesus, tend to feel empty without a spouse or dating partner. They go from guy to guy (or girl to girl), never fully seeking the love they are looking for. That is why, I feel so blessed to be able to lean on Jesus in times of anxiety and uncertainty. Mr. KJWTS will not always know just what to say. Even if we stay together past my 30 dates, he will hurt my feelings. It’s because he is a person, he is human. I will hurt his feelings, (I am sure I already have) and we will apologize to each other and offer grace and forgiveness to each other. And then we will do it all over again. That will happen in any relationship here on Earth. I am not expecting dating to be all rainbows and sunshine, I’ve certainly already learned that isn’t so. And I know that is the same with marriage as well. And that is the reason I just typed the above paragraphs. At first I was hesitant to share that I still had some apprehensions with everyone that reads this post, but I want to be real and let you see my heart a bit through this whole process.

I am pretty certain that some of the feelings I expressed above are good for me. It means, I actually do have feelings and, like Mr. KJWTS’ response indicated above, I liked him. And I was excited to see him after several weeks of waiting. I thought back to some of the affirmations that he would give me prior to date 5 and wondered if I was doing a good job actually affirming him as well. So this stretch of time, I made sure to tell him that I missed him and that I was excited to see him. And I constantly told him he was still my favorite.

On date 5 I had given him two Christmas presents, one that he opened right away, and one that I told him to wait until Christmas to open. However, there was one more thing that I wanted to give him, I just didn’t have it in time when I went to his house on date 5. It was a coffee mug that said “You’re My Favorite” on it. He drinks coffee each morning and I wanted it to be a reminder for him. I had ordered it and it had come in a few weeks ago. So when he arrived at my house for date 6, one of the first things that I did was hand him that gift. He opened it and said he loved it and then said he had something for me as well and went to his car to get it. I opened the wrapped box and in it was a hand painted plaque that read, “YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD WHEN YOU SMILE.”

It fits perfectly with my décor in my bedroom. Here it is sitting atop my dresser. I love it and even more so because of all the time he put into making it.

Next he said he had a surprise for me and pulled out a new game that he bought for us to play. It is called “What?!? Oh…” and is a game for couples (or groups) to play to test each other’s listening skills. He said he searched games online for two players to play and found this game, so he ordered it. That was very thoughtful of him. I made some snacks for us and we played either 2 or 3 times and I won each time.

However, later we did play the game “Sequence” again (same game we played on date 4) and he finally won. And I didn’t even let him 😉

Prior to this date, I had asked him how he felt about meeting my parents and he was okay with the idea. So that was our plan. However, we went to dinner just the two of us first. I was just getting over some kind of cold from the week before and started not feeling the best after we ate. He said his stomach hurt a bit as well after dinner, but that it might just have been nerves in meeting my parents. I told him he had nothing to worry about and that my parents were nice people 🙂

So with his hand on my knee, he drove to my parents house for an evening of more game playing. When we arrived, my parents told him that he should feel special because he was their first guest in their new home. So we showed him around their newly renovated house and then got down to card playing. We started with Euchre and Mr. KJWTS and I were partners and we lost by one to my parents. He did a great job of holding his own though, both in the game and during conversations. At one point, during the game, I had my legs stretched out under the table and he leaned down and squeezed my feet. I took that as a sign he was feeling comfortable in their house. And it felt comforting to me as well. Next, we ended up playing another game as well and I don’t even remember who won, all I know is I lost. Then after a few more conversations, we left.

As we drove away, Mr. KJWTS let out a little laugh. I asked him what he was laughing for over there and he said, “Your parents are really cool.” I already knew that though, which is why I told him he had nothing to worry about.

When we got back to my house, even though it was pretty late, we decided to watch a Christmas movie to end the date. Sitting next to him, under a blanket, with his arms around me, I felt safe and no anxiety was to be found. When he left, I remember thinking, that I didn’t want him to leave. Although I knew our date 7 would come soon after I returned from a cruise to the Bahamas that my parents and I had planned for the week of Christmas. So that made it easier to say goodbye.

While on the cruise, we couldn’t use our cell phones, so it would be the first time since we first started communicating that we would go days without texting. That is unreal to me. I cannot believe we have texted every single day since September 19th.

On the 2nd day of the cruise, I decided to check my email by paying $0.75 a minute, to make sure everything was okay with my dog. I told the dog sitter to email me updates to ease my anxiety of leaving her alone for a week. I noticed I also had an email from Mr. KJWTS with an ending that said he missed me. I didn’t have time to reply, because it was taking a long time and paying $0.75 a minute was just crazy. So I signed off. At the end of the cruise, when we arrived back to the port, I turned on my phone. I had a text message from him on Christmas, thanking me for the gift I had given him but told him to wait to open. I had given him a really soft blanket because he has told me before that he buys his shirts based on the feel. Also, knowing I wouldn’t be able to answer, he had called the day after Christmas and left a voice mail telling me he was looking forward to seeing me again and that he hoped the cruise was going well. I was glad that the absence was not making his “heart go wander” too much and I texted him a good morning message, telling him we were back in South Carolina. We were both already looking forward to date 7.

12 dates and counting down. Until tomorrow when I write about the date that actually took place on the cruise ship.