I know that the last post was a whirlwind of information and I was introducing guys right and left, but date 17 actually turned out to be someone I haven’t mentioned yet.

As far as the last post, Football Coach still has never contacted me, so I am pretty darn sure he is out for good. Mr. Well Traveled has texted me short “Good Morning” texts every few days and we are still planning on getting together in January, although no date has actually been set. Same with Christmas Party guy, he texted me on Christmas Day to wish me a “Merry Christmas,” but nothing has been specifically set with him either.

There was another guy I had also planned for January, but a few weekends ago, I sent him this message:

I am just throwing this out there….I have a paper due on Monday, which is the reason I wanted to leave this weekend to do that, but I am almost done with my paper and I can finish it tomorrow mid afternoon. What are you up to tomorrow? The reason I ask is because my best friend and I were looking to do something tomorrow and I thought it would be super fun to have some people over to make cookies or play cards or something. So, first question, are you free and willing to drive here tomorrow? 2nd question, do you have another single guy friend you could bring? and 3rd question, do you like to play cards or games?! I know it is so last minute, so if your answer is no to those questions, no big deal at all, we can stick with January like I originally said. If you are interested and your answer is yes to those questions than you can text me.

I gave him my number and he texted the next day, stating that he just got my email, but he already had plans for the day. He plays on a soccer team, I think through his church, and he had soccer practice that day. He said he loved the idea though and that he would ask around and find a friend for the following weekend, if I was free. I had plans Saturday and Sunday, but told him my Friday night was open. I only had a half day of teaching that day, so planning something for the first evening of my Christmas break sounded fun. I had yet to mention anything to my best friend yet though. I was hoping she was free as well.

A few days later, he texted me and told me that his friend, who also happened to be his worship leader at church, was willing to join us on this double date, if I still wanted to try and make it happen. I did and I was excited! My first double date of the 30!

I finally told my best friend about the idea and she was up for it as well, so we all set a time and planned to make cookies and play cards at my house, like my original email stated. I felt safe inviting them over to my house because of some of the emails we had sent back and forth and if anyone is safe, I assumed it would be a worship leader. If you are gonna lie about your profession, I doubted being a worship pastor would be something you would lie about. I also later found out, my date was a Police Office. So we were in good hands.

The last week of school before Christmas break is a long one for teachers, can I get an amen?! So by time Friday rolled around, I was not in the mood to figure out how to make sugar cookie cut outs from scratch. We decided to cheat and bought already made sugar cookie dough from Pillsbury. Pillsbury doesn’t usually let me down, it’s how I make my chocolate chip cookies too and my students always think I am the best baker in the world. A few years ago, after eating one of my chocolate chip cookies one of my students said, “I don’t know why you’re not married yet.” I turned and asked him where that came from (hoping maybe he would say something about my glittering personality, charming looks or fashionable outfits) and he said, “These are the best cookies I have ever eaten, better than my mom’s!” I told him that I don’t go around to single guys, offering them cookies and he said, “well you should.”

There you have it folks – dating advice from an 8th grader.

So as I was saying..I bought the pre-made sugar cookie dough to make cut out Christmas cookies. I even had to borrow the cookie cutters from a friend. And to keep the trend we bought already made vanilla icing and planned on just using food coloring to make the different colors. And yes, I borrowed the food coloring too 🙂 Ain’t nobody got time to bake when going on 30 dates!

After a half day of working, cleaning the house, grocery shopping and napping, I set out a few snacks and we were ready for our double date.

I was very excited to be able to go out on a date and spend the evening with my best friend all in one night. Even though we live together, I had missed her.

They arrived a bit before 8pm and I invited them in and introduced them to my best friend. Worship Leader walked in and commented about how our house looked a lot like “Christmas” inside and Police Officer commented several times that night how he was impressed with my decorating skills. What great guys they were. I was looking forward to spending an evening with them.

We started off the night with sitting in my living room and catching each other up on our life history and growing up years in 25 minutes time. We found out that Worship Leader also lived in Ohio for most of his life and Police Officer was originally from California.

After our confession of the pre-made dough and frosting, we got down to business with making the cookies. It was a bit tricky to roll out the dough, because as you might have guessed, I didn’t have a rolling pin. Police Officer showed off his intelligence by asking to use a drinking glass. As he smothered the glass in flour, Worship Leader showed off his humor as he failed over and over again at each cut out he attempted. As I was sitting at the table trying to figure out how to cut out the cookies with the guys and my best friend was a few feet away mixing the food colored frosting, while making a few comments about our lack of cookie skills, I remember thinking, “I am having fun.” I felt like I was back in high school and college when we actually had guy friends to hang out with.

We eventually figured out the trick to making cut outs from Pillsbury dough, by using lots of added flour and then put them in the oven to bake. From there we split up a bit. Police Officer and I went in the living room and he asked me what number he was in regards to my 30 dates. I hesitantly told him and we talked about that for a bit. He seemed cool with it though, most guys that actually choose to take me out, are cool with it, or else they wouldn’t have gone out with me in the first place.

Eventually we took the cookies out of the oven to cool and my best friend came up with the idea of teaching them how to play the card game, Euchre. Police Officer caught on quickly because he knew how to play Spades. However, despite living in Ohio for some time, Worship Leader seemed to struggle almost just as much as cutting out cookies. What he lacked in baking and card skills, he certainly made up in his quick wit and the ability to make us laugh. He was very funny and almost every single thing he said made me laugh, which is a rare thing.

Next we moved on to frosting the cookies, which was another ordeal as well, but we tried our best and improvised with plastic baggies as the “frosters” (I don’t even know the term for it). By the end of the night, my cheeks were literally hurting from laughing, but I couldn’t stop. It was so much fun to be in the comforts of my best friend and the guys’ personalities shined as they interacted with each other. Maybe all first dates should be double dates. However, I must admit, it was hard to get one on one time to really see if any chemistry existed.

We ended the night with Worship Leader playing a song on my best friend’s guitar (which she doesn’t play, but owns anyway – a story for another time) as we began to clean up the kitchen. After the song was over and the kitchen cleaned, we moved into the living room and ended the night talking until around midnight. Police Officer said that we should do it again sometime and we all agreed. They hugged us and then left. It is actually kind of sad they live about an hour and a half away, because they told us they have a group of friends from their church that they hang out with on a pretty regular basis. After meeting them, I wished I could be a part of that group. They were missing an “Ugly Sweater Christmas Party” that night to hang out with us, which Police Officer explained he didn’t mind because he didn’t own an ugly Christmas sweater. I was very thankful for him. Not only for being willing to be my date 17, but to go with my idea of inviting a friend and making it a double date, and then to miss a party with his friends and drive over an hour to my house.

As great as the night was, in all honesty, I don’t see any romantic connection happening between any of us, but they are great guys to hang out with and it is evident they both love the Lord. It was refreshing to be around them, to laugh more than I have in awhile, and to be completely comfortable with each other, as we all made fun of our lack of baking and frosting skills. I am not sure if there will really be a next time or not, in regards to Police Officer’s comment about “doing this again sometime.” But regardless, date 17 will go down as one of my favorites.

13 dates and counting down. Until tomorrow, when I write the next post.

Whew, date 17 was some work to get scheduled.

It all started a couple of weeks ago, actually the Sunday that I had my date 16, the Sunday after Thanksgiving. That evening, I was responding to a few unanswered emails in my inbox on eharmony but I had been nervous to schedule too many dates in December because of a few things I already had planned and a few assignments I still had to do. So most of my responses included asking the guys if they would be willing to wait until after the holidays in January to go out. However, having a date at least once a weekend was still nice for me because it got me out of the house and a nice break from my studies. There was one guy that caught my attention since he was a teacher too, as well as a football coach. I figured we would have some things in common, so it might be less work to hold conversation. So I told him I was free the upcoming weekend. We decided on Saturday and he asked for my number. I gave it to him and he texted me that night.

But the problem was my mind was on Mr. Knows Just What To Say. I had texted him earlier in the day and did not hear back from him. This was odd because, first of all, usually Mr. KJWTS is the first to text me each day and secondly he always responds to my texts at least within the hour. I knew he had a family function that day, so I thought he was busy with that. But after 5 hours, I couldn’t take it anymore and texted him again, asking him how his day was with his family. This even surprised me. Normally I would not text a guy twice in one day when he doesn’t respond to my first text, but I started to get worried and I couldn’t stop thinking about him, again surprising myself. Hmmm, so this is what it feels like to like someone…his actions (or lack there of, I should say) were controlling my emotions. To be honest, I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

I literally started building up this whole story in my head about how he must have died, what else could explain why he wasn’t texting me back!? Don’t jump to the worst possible situation, geesh. I knew I was being a bit dramatic. Ok, maybe he just forgot his phone, he went to visit family, and forgot his phone at home, yes that had to be it.

Football Coach and I were texting back and forth a few times that evening, when FINALLY at 9:30, two hours after my 2nd text to Mr. KJWTS, he texted me back. It turns out there was a miscommunication between the two of us from the night before which merited his silence. I had been unaware of the problem, but I wanted to solve it because I hated the pit that was forming in my stomach. I devoted my attention to Mr. KJWTS and Football Coach must have noticed my lack of responding and asked if I was busy. I told him I needed a few minutes and then after 10 minutes, when I still hadn’t responded, he said “It looks like you need more than just a few minutes.” Oh man, Football Coach seemed a bit needy. I apologized to him and told him I would talk to him tomorrow.

Mr. KJWTS and I worked out our miscommunication, which made me able to sleep that night. However, as I lay there trying to fall asleep, I remember thinking, I wasn’t sure I liked this whole feeling. My emotions were a roller coaster that day and it was all because of a man not responding to my texts. Was I ready for this? Was I ready to let another human being have so much control over the way that I felt? I wasn’t sure and I fell asleep a bit apprehensive, just when I was started to get comfortable with the idea of liking him.

The next morning, I began the work week with full force. After school that day, I checked my phone and saw that Mr. KJWTS had texted me, so he seemed fine again. Someone who wanted to look at my car (I had put it up for sale that weekend) had called and asked for me to call them back asap. I looked at the clock and realized I had 10 minutes before a meeting and called them back. In the midst of trying to coordinate what time I would be home, so they could come look at my car, I started receiving another call. I switched over and on the other line I heard this very joyful, “Hey!” I then realized it was Football Coach. I had forgotten to program his number in my phone from the day before, which is why I hadn’t recognized the incoming call. I said hey back and then had to explain to him that I was on the other line with potential car buyers and that I had a meeting in less than 5 minutes. He said something along the lines of how I was a very busy girl and I wanted to tell him that was an understatement. I apologized, joked about how he can’t be too needy for my attention and hung up the phone telling him I would text him when I got home. However, when I got home, my car sold. So that was a process in and of itself. I don’t even remember if I texted Football Coach back that night or the next day. I was thinking that I had reached strike three with him. But later on that week he texted me with an intro text of, “Hey Beautiful!” So I was guessing he couldn’t be too mad at me. He said he had forgotten about his nephew’s birthday on Saturday and asked if he could go out on Sunday instead. I told him that was fine and that was that.

I don’t think I heard from him the rest of the week. Finally on Saturday, I texted him and asked if he still wanted to go out the next day. I was debating about whether or not to ask him that or to just let it go, since he wasn’t getting back to me. He didn’t respond, so I was thinking my three strikes finally caught up to him. Then on Sunday, he did respond and this was his response:

“I’m definitely still interested, just stuck at my brother’s still from my nephew’s birthday yesterday.”

I didn’t know what that meant, so I asked him what his thoughts were. What did he mean he was still interested?

He said, “Sometime this week or weekend please, babe?”

Hmmm he called me babe… Does that mean, I don’t have three strikes? Wait, why is he calling me babe?

I texted him back saying that I was free either Thursday evening for dinner or Sunday (meaning today). He didn’t respond and I haven’t heard from him since.

So when I hadn’t heard from him by Friday, I figured Football Coach was out for good. Another guy had been texting me a bit and on Friday night he asked what were my weekend plans. I told him and then explained that I was free on Sunday if he wanted to move our January date up. He said he was free as well and we began texting back and forth some plans. He asked if he could call me and I told him that I was beat from a long week and that I’d prefer to just talk about it the next day. He told me to have a good night, but then sent a text about 2 minutes later and asked if we could talk on the phone for 48 seconds. I smiled and thought, okay, buddy, 48 seconds it is. I figured he had something he needed to tell me in that time. So he called me and the first question was, “So where are you originally from?” Oh no, here we go, the introduction questions. I wanted to save that to our date, because as I told him, I was pretty tired and not feeling the greatest, and talking on the phone to someone I have never met was not high on my to do list for the evening. I responded and we somehow started talking about how he travels a lot and has lived all over the United States. He asked me if I traveled a lot and I paused, thinking, if by travel you mean back and forth from SC to Ohio, then yes. If you mean out of the country, then no. I was ready for the conversation to end because I figured he already thought I was boring. And I was having a hard time convincing him otherwise. I had told him that I was tired and it was only 8:30 on a Friday evening and now I told him that I was not some world traveler. What can I say? I am starting to get pretty good at racking up the strikes. I just didn’t have any energy to care very much though. We talked for 6 minutes, I didn’t think there was such a thing as a 48 second phone call anyway, and then Mr. Well Traveled ended it with me saying we can figure out our plans for Sunday tomorrow.

Tomorrow came and I received a text message from him that he was going to need to postpone our date back to January after all because his mom was sick. For some reason, I was not surprised. I told him that was fine, silently wondering if I was ever going to hear from him again. But then when I woke up today, in the midst of blowing my nose from a nasty cold that had started Friday evening (which explains why I was so tired), I saw a text message from him that said he might be able to get together today after all and was wondering if I had made plans yet.

The ironic thing was that I had. Saturday night when I  was actually feeling pretty good, I had emailed another “January guy.” He said he was having a Christmas party at his house and he would love it if I could be his date for the evening. I actually did want to go, a Christmas party would be a nice change from my previous dates and he lived very close to me.

But waking up at 9am, feeling the way I felt was not a good sign.

That is what my bed side table looked like.

I went back to bed and woke up several hours later, still not feeling well at all. So I had to text both of them; Mr. Well Traveled and Mr. Christmas Party and tell them both that I was sick and wouldn’t be able to make it. Funny how things work out. Here guys kept cancelling on me, now I had two dates set up and I had to cancel on both of them. I was just not meant to go out on a date this weekend.

But I have been going through blog posts writing withdrawals and so I had to write one today, even though I have not technically been on a date since date 16.

So still 14 dates and counting down. Until next weekend, unless they get cancelled again 🙂

The reason that date 16 was a bit different from all the rest was because this was my first 1st date with someone I actually knew since starting this 30 date adventure. Can you believe that? I actually went out with someone I knew? Who does that?

I can’t remember when we actually first met, but it might have been about 5 or 6 years ago. One of my friends invited me on her church’s singles’ retreat for the weekend and this is where I met Mr. Valiant. I am nicknaming him that because I admire his boldness of still willing to take me out knowing I was going to write a blog post. Two of my previous dates also knew about my blog, but this seemed a little bit different to me because he was brave enough to approach me about it on his own, there was no “middle man” fixing us up. At the end of our date, I asked him if he wanted to pick his nickname and he laughed and said that was my job and it needed to be a surprise to him. So there you go, Mr. Valiant. I want you to know I admire you and I am praying that your boldness gives you some extra special blessings in the next year of your life.

After meeting Mr. Valiant several years ago, he moved to a different city. He has actually moved a few times since then I believe. As we were catching up, I realized that I had even gone to his going away party with our same mutual friend that had invited me on the retreat. Mr. Valiant and I stayed connected on facebook, although we had only actually hung out in person a handful of times. Last year we messaged back and forth a few times, but that was it. But then he sent me the following message on October 5th, after my 30 dates had commenced and I was a few blog posts in.

“I just read your dating blog (not every word of every date, but quite a bit of it) and you are my new hero 🙂 I’m sad I live so far away now, otherwise I’d definitely want to get on the list. As a single Christian man in my 30s, I love being able to hear your perspective (in a non-creepy way, I promise). I haven’t dated much either, but I have picked it up a little more the past couple years, just out of necessity. One thing I’ve never really done is the whole eharmony, match, or any of that stuff. Here’s a big frustration I’ll share with you: ideally, you’d want to meet and marry someone at church, right? Sadly, I’ve always felt, for whatever reason, this is always super awkward.”

He goes on to explain the struggle that Christian men have in asking a girl out at church and the reality that she just might say no. I understand and have heard that from a few men since, and although I am not a man, I feel his pain. Over the years when people would ask me why I am still single and I answered them with, “Ummm, I guess it’s just because I can’t find anyone.” I never had a really good answer for that question, by the way. They usually then replied with, “Aren’t there any single guys at your church?” It’s just not that easy, people. Whether singles groups exist or not, it is just not that easy. Plus I never wanted church to be a place where I looked for single men. I wanted to go as an act of worship, not to find a Friday night date. However, if a date would arise from church, I wasn’t against it. It was just rare.

Anyway, I loved that Mr. Valiant called me his new hero and I wrote him back and told him that he could still be one of my 30 dates if he was ever in the area. I was under the impression he only lived about an hour or two away. However, he had moved even farther from what I last knew and he wrote back and said he was over 5 hours away now in a neighboring state. He mentioned he may be able to drive through on his way back from visiting family over Thanksgiving, but I had completely forgotten about that until about two weeks ago when he messaged me again about it. He asked if the Sunday after Thanksgiving would work for me. He had the idea of going to church and then out to lunch afterwards. I wrote back and said that his plan sounded good!

I am going to be honest here for a second. I mean, I am always honest, but here is a bit of my heart that I don’t share often. Going to church makes me lonely. It is nobody’s fault, it is just hard for me. And It seems like the older I get, the harder it gets. Since moving here, I have always visited churches by myself. I distinctly remember being in a particular church’s lobby, with people all around me and I felt the loneliest I have ever felt. I remember just thinking that I needed to leave. It is extremely intimidating for a single woman to walk into a church on her own, not knowing anyone. In many churches I end up sitting by myself. There have been several times I get in my car after a church service, finally breathe again, and just begin sobbing as I pull away. I usually can get myself together quickly and I eventually become thankful again for my singleness and the way Jesus has used it in my life, but I am not going to say it has been the most pleasant of experiences.

I remember when I first started communicating with Mr. KJWTS, he asked me this question:

“At what moments/situations do you find yourself REALLY wishing you had a close significant other to share with you or be beside you?”

My answer was “church” and he later agreed. I know you are thinking…just make friends. And my answer to that is, I am not good at making friends  – ha. I am also not looking for sympathy or for people to feel badly about the situation. Over the years, I have had a few really great families talk with me, invite me to sit with them and out to lunch afterwards and things like that. And all of their gestures never go unnoticed or unappreciated. It still doesn’t take away the lonely feeling that creeps up every once and while when I see the couple in front of me holding hands or the guy a row over put his arm around his wife. Focus on Jesus, focus on Jesus, I tell myself. Be stronger, be stronger. You got this girl!

So when Mr. Valiant asked me to go to church with him, the first thing I thought was that I was so glad I wouldn’t have to sit by myself. Sitting by him was a good feeling. It was a good feeling to have; a body sitting next to me, a man that stands and sings along with the choir and someone who opens the Bible up when scripture reading begins. Later, Mr. Valiant admitted that he doesn’t usually sit with women at church because it is kind of an intimate experience for him. I understood what he meant and it made me appreciate our experience together. I don’t think I would ever have thought of going to church to be a date. So I am glad he suggested it.

Later, he also admitted to having a hard time coming up with date ideas to ensure that the girl is having fun on the dates. He said he thought church and lunch was a good idea and he appreciated that I thought it was too. “I could take a girl to church and out to lunch afterwards for every date and be satisfied,” he told me.

It was also fun to be able to dress up a little for a date. As I walked in, a lady complimented me on my tights. I thanked her and looked down at my tights and then remembered that I wore open toe shoes with no nail polish on my toes! I was hoping no one would notice 🙂

When we sat down and I took my coat off, Mr. Valiant told me I looked nice. I thought that was a cute thing for him to say. I said thank you and that was it. But guys should know how much that means to a girl. When a guy offers a simple compliment like that, it gives a girl a bit more confidence in herself, no polish on toes and all. I don’t think guys truly understand the power in their words. Later during the meet and greet part of the service a nice lady told me she loved my tights/leggings too! I said thank you and Mr. Valiant said, “You are getting compliments right and left!” I smiled and thought that I was glad one was actually from him.

After church, it was suggested we go to Lizard’s Thicket for lunch. Can you guess whose decision that was? I will give you one hint, the person wasn’t wearing tights. I say that because since moving down here, I have actually avoided that restaurant. Who wants to eat at a place named after a Lizard?

 Doesn’t look very appetizing, does it? He told me that was just his preference because he loved going there when he lived here, but that I could pick another place if I wanted. Since I have never actually eaten there, I couldn’t object just because of the name, now could I? So, I told him that was fine and we got in his car and went to a place named after a Reptile’s Bush. I was praying for food like Bob Evans.

 Well, it didn’t live up to good ole’ Bob’s, but then again, not much can. But it was good. Or at least that is what I am going to say on this blog post, because I know Mr. Valiant will be reading this and I don’t want to hurt his feelings 🙂 I did really appreciate that they let me order breakfast though. The waitress said I had 5 minutes until they stopped serving it.

While eating we became surrounded by two separate large families, both with babies, literally cornering us in the corner. I tried my hardest to focus on my date and our conversation but had a hard time focusing with all of the commotion going around there in the thicket of the Lizard. And I was just waiting for a lizard to start slithering by. Thankfully that didn’t happen, because for the love of Bob, if it did, I would have been gone in a split second, even if I had to jump over a baby.

When I could focus on our conversation, I enjoyed it. We could talk openly and honestly about what it is like to be single in our 30s. Oh wait, I am not 30 yet! Sometimes, I forget that. I still have 14 more dates to go, I can’t be 30 yet. He asked me about my dates and if there were any potential guys that I would be seeing after I turned 30. I said, there could be a possibility and that I have gone out with one guy a few times already. I felt a bit guilty talking about another guy on our date, but he asked, so I answered. I didn’t give many details though, because it’s not like I have 5 blog posts already dedicated to the guy I was referring to or anything. He seemed cool with it and told me about a few recent situations he has had with women. I tried to encourage him as best as I could. Single guys need a little push every once and awhile. It was nice to be on a date with a friend. Very refreshing actually.

We ended our lunch date, he went to the cash register to pay and then took me back to my car near the church. After driving around the parking garage trying to find a way out, I passed him again, smiled and waved goodbye.

Today he messaged me on facebook telling me thank you for my time yesterday and that he hoped I had fun. So yes, Mr. Valiant, I did have fun. It was so great seeing you. Thank you for wanting to “get in on the blog posts” as you called it. I appreciate you very much. 

His message went on to say that his 5 hour trip home lasted way longer because meeting with me gave him the confidence to make a detour and visit a girl in another city. He said they watched the sunset and he stayed for dinner. Way to go Mr. Valiant! I am not sure how he knows this girl or what potential they may have, whether it will be romantic or if they are just friends. But regardless, it meant so much to me that he said I gave him the confidence to visit her. Praying blessings upon blessings for you, Mr. Valiant. And if there is a soon to be Mrs. Valiant in your future, I’d like an invite to the wedding 🙂

14 dates and counting down. Until next weekend.

Mr. Knows Just What To Say and I had our 5th date planned a day after our 4th date. We planned for the day before Thanksgiving and even though he suggested he would come down to my town again, I told him I wanted to drive up to his. I liked the idea of getting away for a day over my Thanksgiving break, since I had nothing else planned. It gave me something to look forward to.

I had told him about these blog posts on our last date and told him the next date we were on I would read him our first date’s post (which was my date 3 out of the 30). So during this date, I did just that.  After I got finished reading, I asked him a question. I was not sure how he would answer it, so I was a bit nervous to ask him.

“Would you consider writing a post for my blog for this date?” I can’t remember how long it took him to answer, but I know he said yes. He asked a few more questions about it, like who his audience would be. I told him to just imagine he was writing to my friends. Later on in the date, I brought it back up again to make sure he was still okay with doing it and that he didn’t regret his decision. He said he would still write it, but was thinking he might need to hear the post from date one again, to make sure he understands what kinds of details I put in these posts. I told him I would read him our date 2 (which was my date 9 out of 30) and he seemed excited about that. So I read him that post. Every time I read him these posts, I think that it gives him a boost in confidence. Sometimes I am reluctant to share with him exactly how I am feeling, because I don’t know exactly how I am feeling. But when I read him the blog posts, I think it is clear that I like this guy. I mean, I wouldn’t be on a 5th date if I didn’t, right? That’s what I keep telling myself.

He had bought a few of my favorite snacks and drinks to have in his house while I was there for the day. That might seem like a simple gesture, but it meant so much to me. This shows that he pays attention to detail and he listens. That is evident. He always knows how to make me feel cherished. And sipping my favorite soda and popping jalapeno flavored chips into my mouth, cherished is exactly how I felt 🙂

During this date I did share with him some of my more reluctant thoughts. I thought he might be getting to the point of wanting to make a commitment or something regarding our relationship. I wanted to make sure that we have strong communication and that there are no guessing games constantly going on. I told him that I can’t totally figure out my feelings all of the time and that makes me feel like I am not giving him what he deserves. He told me he understands, and then he said this: “You don’t need to figure anything out right now. I am fine. All you have to ask yourself is, would you rather have me in your life or NOT have me in your life.” I thought for a second and I knew beyond doubt, I would rather him be in my life right now. So I told him that. He smiled and said he felt the same way about me. “That’s all we need to think about right now,” he said. I relaxed and thought how good he was for me, so very good.

Okay, so here is our date 5 from Mr. KJWTS’ perspective. I hope you enjoy it because I am beyond thankful that he did this for me. I realize he is a special guy. I don’t need to go out on 30 dates or need a lot of dating experiences under my belt to realize that.

I was asked if I wanted to write about our fifth date, and so I accepted the challenge even though I can’t match her wit from previous posts.

It was the day before Thanksgiving and I was waiting with great anticipation (as usual) for her to arrive. I still get nervous before each time we meet. Which to me, is a GREAT thing because it tells me that I really like this girl. And like all the dates before, each time I see her, I’m taken back by how beautiful she is.

I wanted to surprise her so I spiked my hair up (like all the cool kids do these days). She didn’t even notice until I said something an hour or 2 later! But she said she really likes it this way, even though I am a bit self-conscious about it as I’m not certain I can “pull it off”. I told her later at dinner that I would have never walked out of my house with my hair like this if I were not with her. Which is another reason I appreciate her, she gives me confidence in myself.

Upon arriving she starting making these sausage rolls, which she brought the ingredients for. This was the first time she has cooked anything for me, and they were so delicious! While they were cooking, we sat on the couch, catching up on things happening in our lives. She is so overwhelmingly busy with grad school work and just general teaching duties that I, in turn, know how much she must value me in order to sacrifice some of her extremely limited free time.

I had asked her previously if she would help me decorate my Christmas Tree, and I was surprised at her willingness to do so. I loved just the thought of sharing that experience with her. So when I asked if she was ready for that, she said she needed to get something from her car. But before she went out to her car she gave me a card. She asked me to read it while she was outside, saying that it’s sometimes awkward to read a card in front of someone. I kinda agree.

So I opened the card and saw she had written quite a lot, and I know I’m a slow reader, so I wanted to quickly read through it before she returned. By now I know she is very deliberate and guards her heart like no other, so in reading those words from her, I know she was sincere and she is growing more and more comfortable with me. Even though I sped through it, I still didn’t quite finish before she came back in. It wasn’t until that night when I was going to bed that I picked it up and reread everything over and over again. Her words were extremely touching and meant 100 times more after reading them a few times and really letting her thoughts soak in. My heart smiles each time I read that card.

When she returned she had 2 wrapped gifts for me just as the card she wrote outlined. The 1^st gift I got to open right then, she had written “this 1st gift is so you will think of me when you see it throughout your busy December.” But the 2^nd gift would have to wait until Christmas to be opened. She had written “this 2^nd gift is so your tree isn’t so empty on the floor.” I opened the 1^st gift: It was a Christmas ornament of a huge golden ball with the Riverbanks Zoo & Garden logo on it. That is where we went on our first date. That was extremely sweet and thoughtful. I paused there for a second thinking how perfect that was. 

Oddly enough, yesterday I was cleaning out my car and found the Riverbanks Zoo map in the car trash bag. After our first date I just assumed she would never want to see me again, so I had tossed it, but never emptied that bag. So I pulled out the map and showed it to her after receiving her ornament gift, and have now saved it as a treasured keepsake. 

I also showed her the text messages I sent to my friend Andrew the morning of our first date at the zoo. Here is the transcript:

Me: “I obviously don’t normally do this, but I have a 1^st date this afternoon & wanted to know if u would please pray for us?”

Andrew: “Absolutely! I feel honored.”

And after the date I wrote:

Me: “Appreciate it! It went well. She’s a beautiful girl w/ a heart for Christ. Though if I hadn’t read “Sacred Search,” I doubt we would have ever met. That book really helped me change what I’m seeking.”

Andrew: “Awesome man, glad to hear! So will there be a second date?”

Me: “Yeah, I think so, but she has a busy next few weeks so it might be awhile before we can have that second date.” 

We’ve discussed before how Gifts is my lowest love language and how I would love Christmas if it were not for the gifts & shopping. Well, this was the perfect gift, the way all gifts should be. It wasn’t bought because the calendar said so, nor did she feel compelled by tradition, it wasn’t bought because it met a certain mystical dollar amount that made it seem appropriate. She bought it out of the pure intentions she outlined in the card … and that’s why I love it!!!

So with my new ornament in hand, we started decorating the tree. She did a great job helping me by putting up the vast majority of ornaments. I was just happy to be sharing this tradition with someone I cherished.

Next we played a game of Sorry! It is one of my favorite board games, and I know she loves playing games. I dominated in the beginning, but she quickly recovered and ended up beating me in the closest of finishes. That makes her 3-for-3 against me in games. In complete honesty, this is actually really refreshing! One of my favorite things about her is how smart she is. She’s such a rare combination of brains and beauty. I’ve dated too many girls in the past that I’ve tried to throw the game and still won because they just aren’t gifted in that area. But I promised her ONE DAY I will defeat her so she better get ready! It’s coming …

Next she taught me how to play the card game Euchre. And I kept referring to it as “That Yankee Card Game”. I love Spades and while this is similar it is just different enough to screw me up, especially with all the “crazy Yankee rules” like Jack beating Ace. That was thrown in there for no other reason but to make me look silly by forgetting that half the time! Well after she walked me through a couple mock hands with real cards we got our iPads out and played online. We were actually teammates playing against other players online. Sometimes our opponents were actual people playing online and other times we just played the computer. However, because we were sitting shoulder-to-shoulder, she was very deliberate about not cheating, no matter who we were playing against. I really admired that about her. We lost each game we played (mostly because I was screwing up), but we had a great time, and later on, she even told me that was her favorite part of the date.

We then headed off to dinner at Red Robin. It is one of my favorite places to go and a place she hasn’t been to since she was younger. It was a good meal with great conversation, though they did get her order wrong.

Next up (yes, this all happened in a short span of a few hours), we watched my favorite Christmas movie “It’s a Wonderful Life”. I knew it wasn’t even technically Thanksgiving yet, but I never have any guarantee that I would see her again, so I wanted to share this moment with her when I had the chance. She had never actually seen this movie, or at least not all the way through. I bought the colorized version of it, as I somehow knew she would find that more entertaining. I was right! I was hoping she would like it, and I think she did. She even laughed quite a few times, so I knew she was enjoying herself.

Afterwards, I reluctantly let her go as I knew she had a long drive ahead of her. I helped carry some of her things out to her car. After loading everything in the car, she turned to face me with her arms spread out so wide, the biggest invite to hug her to date. For some reason I felt better about her wanting to see me again, so I mentioned something we could do on our next date. Then I added, “… If there is one”. She replied, “There will be!”

-From the perspective of Mr. KJWTS-

And there you have it, date 15!

I have come to realize that we have become even closer after him hearing my thoughts as I read him my posts from dates 1 and 2 and me reading his thoughts from this date 5. Maybe, we are on to something, Do you want a healthy relationship with open communication? Just write about each date from both perspectives and then read each other’s write ups! I am telling ya, it will work. Well, I guess only if the dates go well. For both people. So, wait, never mind, that’s a risky chance. Oh well, carry on.

As Thanksgiving came and went, I reminisced often about my past 15 dates and could not be more thankful of each and every guy that has taken me out and the lessons that I have learned along the way. And as I stated in his card, I am especially thankful for Mr. KJWTS and his patience, encouragement, and kindness that he has shown me over the past two months. I feel very blessed.

I am halfway there!

15 dates and counting down. Until next week.

Sometimes I feel like I am watching my life unfold around me like a movie. I really feel like I am acting out and writing about a character in a story. And then I blink a few times and think, “Nope, this is really my life.” It still seems unreal to me that I have gone out with 11 different guys on 11 first dates in just two month’s time. And now I am writing about a 4th date with the same guy. I am honestly not sure I have ever been on a fourth date before in my life. Not just “get togethers” with friends, but 4 actual dates. with. the. same. person. Umm, freakout meter, calm yourself down now.

It is actually a comforting feeling to know that they are dates. Do you know what I mean? I feel like so many times in society today, guys and girls go out, but half of the time, they don’t know what to call it. A guy may ask the girl to come watch the game with him or girls may get sick of waiting for the guy to ask, so she asks the guy if he wants to grab lunch or something. And then they hang out, maybe they like each other, maybe they are just friends, maybe it’s a date, but no one is really sure. I am not saying that everything has to have a title and that it needs to be expressed that both parties think that it is a date. I am just saying, it is nice, that I don’t feel like I am guessing. I don’t feel like we are playing some game. We call it what it is. A date. And did I say, this was our 4th one?

As you probably already know, this 4th date was with Mr. Knows Just What To Say, same as dates 3, 9 and 11. I keep waiting for him to not live up to his nickname or something else to go wrong or for one of us to get sick of each other or SOMETHING. But it never happens. Don’t get me wrong, we have been communicating for about two months now, especially through texts, and there have been times where miscommunication has occurred. However, I am always amazed at how we end up handling it. I feel like we communicate very well and I know this may sound weird, but our brains think very similarly.

We planned this 4th date, a couple of days after our 3rd, so it had been in the works for a couple of weeks. Mr. KJWTS told me he would drive to my town this time, since dates 2 and 3, I drove to his house. I wasn’t sure what we would do and I doubted he did either. But my mind was too consumed with my professional work and GRAD school, I couldn’t even think about it. We both could have fun with each other just doing homework and watching a movie, so I wasn’t worried.

When he got here, I showed him around my house a bit. He told me it looked like a “model home” by how I decorated and I almost leaked my nickname for him right then and there.

It was a somewhat chilly and cloudy day, but still bearable, so I suggested we go get some boiled peanuts (my most desired treat since moving to the South) and eat them at my favorite park in town. I bundled up with my coat and gloves and he changed from his dress shirt that he had worn to church that morning.

We spent a little over an hour at the park, just swinging and overlooking the pond. During this time, I decided I needed to tell him about the blog. I had been avoiding it because I didn’t want him to spend his weekends reading my blog posts about other dates. And I didn’t want him knowing that I was writing about each date to influence the things he said or did.

“I have a secret I need to tell you?” I said a bit shyly as I turned to look at him as we were swinging back and forth. “You are married?!” he exclaimed. I laughed. “You have a kid?” he said again. I laughed even more and shook my head. “Ok, don’t tell me you are really a man,” he announced glaring back at me with a smile.

“Are you going to let me tell you?!” I asked him, thinking my little confession was miniscule compared to his jokes. I started telling him about how I knew I was going to have to tell him eventually, but the first date was probably too soon and now that it was the fourth date, he probably had the right to know…and…

He just looked at me and I figured I should get to the point.

“So, you know with my whole 30 dates thing…well…I am blogging about each date.”

Now that I think about it, I can’t really remember what his reaction was. Which just means he seemed cool with it. I went on to explain to him how my blog got started and that I wanted him to know now, sooner rather than later. Especially, in case, for some reason it got back to him. We talked about it for a few more minutes and then I asked him to promise me that he wouldn’t search for it. He is very tech savvy, so I had no doubt he could find it, if he wanted to. He told me at this point, he didn’t want to read it. He said one day down the road he would, but not now. I made him promise one more time and he did.

I told him I wouldn’t mind if he read them, I just thought it wouldn’t be the most healthiest thing for him right now. He agreed. However, I did end up reading him my very first post, as well as half of the second post. I wanted him to hear about how I wrote that I thought he was the best communicator and how much I appreciated his response to me about the whole 30 dates thing.

That led us to a conversation about eharmony and I asked him how long he had been on there. I was assuming we had joined around the same time. He said he had been on for awhile and had joined for a year. I was beginning to wonder how eharmony’s algorithm worked, because when I first joined, I had way more communication with guys than I do now. Recently, I have gone weeks without anyone contacting me and I actually do not have any more dates lined up for the rest of the year with other guys from eharmony. Not because I am giving up on the rest of my 30 dates, but because communication with new guys have decreased dramatically. I thought maybe they matched everyone that first joined around the same time and then as weeks went by, people started losing interest in the whole online dating thing or something. However, that was not the case with him, if he had been on there for several months. He said that he thought that when someone first joined, that is when they were matched with the people that were the most compatible. I am still getting matched with people each day, but they probably aren’t the most compatible with me and that is the reason I must not be interesting them enough for them to contact me. No more youth pastors and too many guys with their shirts off 🙂 Which makes me a little scared to think about what guys are receiving on their end.

I thanked him again for being willing to contact me in the first place and going out with me now 4 times. Especially because none of my pictures were in a bikini (I didn’t say that, but I thought it). Then he told me that if it weren’t for my whole 30 dates thing, he might not be sitting here today. Later, I asked him what he meant by that. He told me that when he read that in my profile, it made me stand out. He knew it would take the pressure away from both of us a bit. Plus he said that I was not his usual type of girl that he dated. Here, we go again, back to “types.” He had just gotten finished reading “The Sacred Search,” the book that he gave me on our first date. He explained that the book had changed his thinking a lot about dating. I finished that book a few weeks ago, so I knew what he meant. Here is one point that the author, Gary Thomas, says at the beginning of the book:

Guys are more inclined to experience romantic love with women they are attracted to physically, yet physical appearance is the thing most likely to change in a person’s life. Marriage isn’t about being young together; it’s about growing old together – and bodies change as we get older. If you don’t marry with that in mind, you’re going to make a major mistake – perhaps the biggest mistake of your life.

What draws most of us into marriage is rarely the ingredient that serves long-term happiness in marriage. Understanding this alone will help you make a wiser choice.

He told me that reading quotes like that, changed him. And he threw his type out the window. I am paraphrasing, but that was the general idea.

And by the way, if you are dating, looking to date, about to get married or know someone that is, I would highly recommend this book.

At first, I am not going to lie, that made me a bit self-conscious. For a fleeting second, I wondered if he wasn’t attracted to me at first, since I technically wasn’t his type. But then he explained more, that what he meant was; I was a bit taller, a bit blonder and a bit more “light-eyed” than most girls he had dated in the past. Plus the several comments he made about how he thought I was beautiful, came rushing back. One of his most recent texts that makes him live up to his nickname went like this:

“I don’t think you have ANY clue just how much I and the rest of the world love seeing that wonderfully beautiful and stunning smile of yours! It really does take my breath away sometimes. Seriously.”

So while, I may not have been his “type,” he knows how to make me feel beautiful.

After we left the park, we came back to my house to warm up. We played a board game twice, I won both times (his excuse was that my beauty was distracting him) and he helped grade papers from one of my classes. From there we went to dinner. On the way to dinner, I shared with him how there are many times in my life when I am with people and after a few hours with them, I am ready to NOT be with them anymore (that’s just being honest folks). But, that wasn’t the case with him. It was true, I was thinking it, so I thought I should tell him that. In the past, I would have been very reluctant to share that with a guy, wondering if he might take it that I am head over heels for him already. But Mr. KJWTS seems to understand me so much, that sharing things like that, does not make me nervous. He told me he was having a great time spending the day with me as well.

At dinner, as usual, I only ate half of my meal. When I looked down, it was the same for him. I remembered he only ate half of his meal on our first date too. I made a comment about it and he said, “I have a hard time eating around you.” What I found cute, was the fact that he shared that with me. That is what I like, we are open and honest with each other. I told him that I liked that I felt I could share with him my true feelings. I told him, that in the past, I was known as the “confusing girl” and it was probably because I didn’t share my feelings all the time, so the guy had no idea what I was thinking. But the reason for that was because half of the time, I didn’t know what I was feeling myself. I told him that I felt comfortable sharing my feelings with him, so if there is something he feels like I am keeping from him, it is because I just don’t quite know yet myself. He understood. Like he usually does. I thanked him again for being so patient with me and for letting me experience this process without any pressure.

After dinner, we went back to my house, but he left shortly after. When he got home, he texted me and told me that he would love to see me again, if God should choose to bless him that way. I wrote back right away that he could choose the next day for our 5th date, since he had been going with my schedule for the first 4. Yesterday, he texted me and said, “So you agreed to a 5th date, how is your freakout meter?” And again, I smiled. Because he gets me.

p.s. My freakout meter is doing just fine.

16 dates and counting down. Until next week when we have our 5th date.

My date 13 was with Mr. Patient, he was the one that was originally going to be my date 11, but due to the power outage on November 1st, we cancelled. He seemed totally fine with re-scheduling for November 15th, thus getting his nickname.  What a great guy being willing to wait for almost two months from when we first started communicating and not giving me a hard time about it, not even one little bit.

For our November 1st date, we had planned to meet at a restaurant and then go to a movie afterwards. He said he was willing to drive to me, since he lived just under 2 hours away, but that I should pick out the restaurant since he wasn’t familiar with the area. As I have stated before, I always get intimidated when picking out restaurants, since I never know what the price range should be. I mean, I would be fine with Chipotle or Chick-Fil-A or something like that. However, I know those might not be the best date night places. So, as usual, to help me be a bit more decisive, I chose three “middle of the road” priced restaurants and he chose one from my list. He chose Outback Steakhouse.

A few days prior to our re-scheduled date, we confirmed through text that Saturday was still good for both of us and that we would stick with our original plan – Outback and a movie. I pushed back the time 30 minutes, because I had a paper for GRAD school due that same day and of course I had been putting it off to the last minute. I am not sure what 30 minutes was going to do, but it made me feel better about getting my paper turned in before I left for the date. If I could finish the paper by 4, I made it my goal that I would reward myself by getting my nails painted. I should have made that promise to myself weeks ago, maybe that paper would have gotten done before the day it was actually due. I did end up finishing by 4, and left to get my nails done shortly after. However, the picture below was taken before that, so don’t look too closely at my chipped nails. I added another filter to make them hard to see and because of my stupid blemishes in this winter-like weather. Amazing what a filter does for ya 🙂 Why I hadn’t figured that out sooner, is beyond me.

After I left the nail salon, I still had an hour to spare, but figured it wouldn’t make sense for me to go back home. So I texted him that I could be there before 6:30 if he wanted and began heading towards the restaurant. I knew he would be on his way already, he had texted me at 4:15 stating that he was leaving. So I figured, he might even get there early too. I stopped by a store to kill some time and ended up calling the restaurant for call ahead seating, since knowing Outback, there is usually an hour wait. Almost immediately after putting my name in, he texted and said he was there early, but that he needed to charge his phone in the car, so we could keep it at 6:30. He also told me he put our names in for call ahead seating. Great minds think alike, I guess. Well I am assuming he has a great mind, since he thought of that 🙂

Here was our text conversation after I told him that I had done the exact same thing:

He said, “Come on now, I had it covered!”

“Well you are smarter than I thought you were.”

“So wait, you didn’t think I was smart to begin with? Ouch that hurts!”

“I said smart-er.”

“Still hurts.”

“Then you are more sensitive than I thought too :)”

“Oh that was a great come back. I like that.”

Here we are, me in the parking lots of Kohl’s and him in the parking lot of Outback, 15 minutes before meeting and we are sending texts back and forth. I thought it was cute though.

Prior to those texts, I just wasn’t sure what his personality was like. We had texted for weeks, every few days or so and before that we had emailed for about a month. But it mostly consisted of questions like, “how was your day?” and “what are you up to?” and things like that. I was going into this date, not really sure who to expect. So those few texts, made me a bit more excited to actually spend the evening with him.

I eventually drove to the restaurant and decided to head in when I arrived, while he was still charging his phone in his car. I told the hostess that we had both called ahead, but then I realized that I didn’t know his last name to tell her which name to take off. I would have told her to take my name off, but then I didn’t know which name to tell her that we would be under! So I quickly said I had to go to the bathroom and that I would be back in a bit before she could ask me any more questions. A few minutes later, Mr. Patient walked in and I met him at the door. We got the call ahead seating thing worked out and we waited for about another 25 minutes until we were seated. During our dinner conversation he did an awesome job carrying the conversation, plus he ordered a bloomin’ onion for our appetizer, so he was racking up some points. We both talked a bit about our families. He talked a lot about the things that his father taught him and I thought that was endearing. I could tell he really looked up to his dad and that is a great sign.

He also talked about his friends. It seemed like he had a lot of friends that were female. That doesn’t bother me, since I have several guy friends, but I asked him why he was never interested in dating any of them and he told me they were just not his type. So I asked him, “So, what is your type?” It is always interesting to see how guys answer that, especially because he was sitting across from a girl (that was me, in case that wasn’t clear). I am sure it wasn’t the best question to ask, but I was curious. He said, “Well girls about the same height as me (he was 5’8′) and usually blonde” and then he threw in, “like, you are my type.” Well, thank you Mr. Patient! But I felt badly because I may have forced that compliment. What else was he going to say? I smiled and felt relieved that he didn’t ask me the question back. Plus, I don’t even know if I have a “type.” When you don’t date , you can’t really compare all of the ex-boyfriends, to see if a type emerges.

I know my “type” loves Jesus though. As we were walking into the movie theatres, in a totally different conversation, I did ended up sharing that with him. His response was that he wasn’t perfect. After he said that, there were a few other things I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him that you don’t have to be perfect to love Jesus. If we were perfect, Jesus wouldn’t be needed in our lives at all. Jesus came to save the sinners, those in need of  a Savior. Perfect people don’t need a Savior. So what I really wanted to tell him was that I am glad he isn’t perfect.

But does he strive to know God’s Word a bit better everyday?

Does he give up some of his own desires, because they don’t align with God’s Word?

That, my friends, is what loving Jesus is all about. But I didn’t say any of that, kinda heavy for a first date. I just smiled at him and said, “I am not perfect either” and we walked into the theater.

As we approached the register, I again, offered to pay for the movie, since he paid for dinner. He said that he had it and he opened his wallet right away. These guys are so sweet to not only treat me to dinner, but then pay for a movie as well. Movies are not cheap these days (however, I did get a discount with my student ID from GRAD school – I guess going back to school is worth something). I thanked him then and later again when the night ended.

I really hope that I convey to these guys, how appreciative I am of them paying. I have to admit, it does make a girl feel special. It isn’t about the money (although I will also admit, I couldn’t afford to go out to dinner and a movie every weekend on my budget), but rather it is just a gesture for them to silently say, “I am glad to be on this date with you.” And that is appreciated.

I think I have come to realize I feel the same about guys opening car doors. My dad used to take me out on dates when I was a little girl and he would always open the car door for me and tell me that is what I should expect when I started dating. Well, it has taken awhile, but here I am, dating, and I distinctively remember him saying that. I don’t think I look down on the guys that don’t open car doors, and I know some females would prefer to open their own doors. But to me, it is still a nice gesture on the guys part to take that initiative. I have only actually gotten into the car with about 5 of the guys, Mr. Patient being one of them. Actually, he may have been the only one that didn’t open the car door for me, although I am kinda drawing a blank on a few in that area, now that I try and think back to it.

Towards the beginning of this journey, I never thought to actually get in the car with my date. Not that I didn’t think they were safe, I just felt that if we met somewhere, I would just follow them to the next place. However, for some reason, the past two dates, 12 and 13, have been different. After we first met and then decided to drive to the theatre, both times I initiated the question of, “Should we take separate cars or one?” Both times it was a bit awkward after I asked. I don’t know if they were surprised that I would be willing to get in the car with them after only meeting them that day or what the deal was. Now that I think about it, I am not sure what all of a sudden made me change my way of doing things either. It might have started after dates 7 and 8, since they both picked me up from my house, since I was set up with them by people I actually knew. I guess I have been a bit more brave lately. And yes, I know what you are thinking, I should be careful. I will, I promise.

That makes me think back to date 12, when I got home later than expected. My best friend said to me, we should go over some dating rules for you. “Like, never take anything that they offer you to drink,” she said. I laughed to myself, thinking, “You are telling me this…now… after 12 dates?!” That was all the advice she offered me that night. But I am glad she was able to get the “drink” thing off her chest 🙂

Moving on…however, there isn’t much more to tell. We ended our date with the movie a bit after 11pm and he still had an almost two hour commute back home. So he took me back to Outback’s parking lot, I thanked him, he said it was nice to have met me and that was that.

17 dates and counting down. Until hopefully tomorrow when I post about Sunday’s date.

The guy that I went out with on Saturday began communicating with me on September 17th. It took us about 9 days to get to the email stage and even after that he usually took awhile to respond. When he finally did on October 4, this was his response:

“Please forgive me for the delay. A combination of trying to finish out a real estate deal while dealing with the ins and outs of a broken leg has provided certain challenges for me. I’m here, I’m interested, but just went silent for a bit dealing with pain and resting. Hope you can understand.So do I still have a shot in this game of yours? Or have you hit the 30 mark already?”

It turns out that in his free time he races professionally and he broke his leg in a crash back in September. I asked him how he felt about going out in November and he said that worked well for him, so he could recover a bit from his leg surgery. The more and more dates that I go on, the more and more grateful I become of these guys being willing to be apart of my 30 dates “game,” as Racer Dude worded it up there. I think I am becoming more appreciative, because I am getting less and less responses via eharmony, and some have even blocked me or what eharmony calls as “moved on.” The appreciation also comes because some guys are having to travel several hours to meet me for one date. But to me, it is more than just a game. It is my life and it has been a rewarding experience, with many lessons learned along the way.

Racer Dude and I began texting way back on October 9th and in his first email as well as first text he called me “lil lady.” That was original, however I kinda wondered how many other girls in his inbox had that same nickname. The following day, I asked him if he wanted to plan for a date on November 8th. I was starting to get used to the idea of planning dates one month in advance, that I didn’t think much about it anymore. However, with dates being planned that far ahead of time, I always wonder if the guy is still going to remember me and want to go out when the day actually comes. I texted him earlier in the week to make sure he was still good for Saturday. He said he was. When we were actually out on the date he brought up the fact that he thought it was so funny that I planned our date so ahead of time. He said he has never done that before and is usually way more “spur of the moment.” I thanked him for being patient and for actually blocking off this day in his schedule to go out on a date with me.

Even though we planned that our date was going to take place on November 8, neither one of us had taken the initiative to plan what we would do in that month’s time. So a few days prior to Saturday, he texted me again, his usual, “Hey lil lady.” I said hey back and aked him what his thoughts were about Saturday. He told me he was at my mercy. So I had been thinking of this plan in a neighboring town, that seemed to be in the middle of our two cities. Racer Dude lived the farthest away than any of my other dates, I believe like 3.5 to 4 hours. I typed out my plan and he was all for it. However, the day of the date, I actually looked up how far this “neighboring town” was and it was 2.5 hours from me! I was running some errands that afternoon and I still had a few things to do. Being in a car for 5 hours in one day by myself did not seem very fun at all. So I texted him again and said this:

“How long would it take you to get there? I just looked again for me and realized that it will take me 2.5 hours and I am trying to decide if it’s worth it.”

What I meant by “worth it” was the original plan that I came up with – to go see one of my former students play college basketball. I want to go to one of his games, but thought I would wait until he played a bit closer.

He might have taken the “worth it” meaning worth even meeting him.

Whoops. My bad.

His response:

“Well I was just about to leave, so I could get there early, so tell me now if that is what we are doing or not. Did you want to meet elsewhere? Or scrap the whole idea?”

I texted him back and literally said, “Whoa, are you frustrated with me?” I explained to him that of course I did not want to scrap the whole idea of meeting him. This was before re-reading the text I sent him and realized that it kinda sounded bad on my end. He said he wasn’t frustrated, but I called him to just make sure. He didn’t answer. I thought I was in trouble, I thought that another date was about to be cancelled.

I typed out a suggestion for another town where we could meet that would be about the same distance for him, but only an hour for me. He called back and apologized for missing my call. I apologized for changing our plans hours before our date and told him I hoped he didn’t think I was some ditzy blonde girl that couldn’t keep things straight.

Once we got that settled, he pretty much left everything up to me. Every time I asked him a question, he turned it right back to me and would throw in a few “sweeties” every once and awhile. I could tell he didn’t want to make any decisions. “Sweetie, it doesn’t matter to me,” was his favorite response. So I told him I would meet him at Starbucks at 5:00 and we could decide where to go to dinner from there.

A few minutes later I texted him and said (because of my ditzy blonde comment) that I hoped he wasn’t expecting some hot bombshell blonde walking into Starbucks to meet him. I let him know that I was actually brunette with some blonde highlights and that I wasn’t ditzy.

He asked me if I was going to “catfish” him. That was the second time I heard that phrase, once before from Mr. Facetime. I asked him what that meant and he explained.

Here is what Urban Dictionary tells us:

A catfish is someone who pretends to be someone they’re not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.

Did you hear how Dave got totally catfished last month?! The fox he thought he was talking to turned out to be a weird guy from San Diego!
or
I was really falling for that gorgeous gal on Facebook, but she turned out to be a catfish.

I might have put on a bit extra of my concealer and edited that picture below to hide some of my blemishes, but I was as ready as I was gonna get. I at least felt prettier than a catfish.

Since one of his earlier texts said he was going to get there early, I decided to also get there early, around 4:45. I texted him and told him to let me know when he was there. He didn’t get there till 5:15, but I was alright with that, because I was still feeling pretty badly about changing plans on him last minute and making him drive 2.5 hours to our meeting place. I was waiting in my car, but then around 5:15, began walking into Starbucks. At that very moment, a car passed by me and I hear, “Hey lil lady, I am looking for a parking spot.” At least he recognized me from my pictures. I sat at one of the outside tables and waited. He had warned me that he would still be on one crutch, so a few minutes later, he came walking over to me. He sat down and I asked him if he wanted to get coffee or just go straight to dinner. After a few back and forth questions, we decided on dinner. I finally narrowed it down to two places and I told him he needed to pick from there. He couldn’t or he wouldn’t, I am not sure which. So finally I said we could flip a coin to determine. The coin told us where to go and we were off!

During dinner, he asked me about my 30 dates again. As I was explaining the pressures I put on myself when it came to dating, he said he agreed completely. He said that he used to spend the whole first date, wondering if he should try and kiss the girl at the end of the date. He said that made the date itself not as enjoyable to him because he was worrying the whole time about the kiss. I found that very interesting, I’ve always wondered if guys thought about the kiss or if that was just a spur of the moment thing. I never had to worry about it myself because I already made my mind up that I was not going to kiss on these 30 dates. So far, none of my dates have even led me to believe that they might try and kiss me, well maybe with the exception of date 5, but I backed up before that became an awkward situation. Anyway, he told me that he realized he wasn’t being himself on the date, when all he could think about was the kiss, so he made a rule. He told himself that he wouldn’t even THINK about the kiss until date 3. He said on date one, you are just trying to really get to know the other person. Then if she says yes to date two, it either means she liked you on date one or just wasn’t sure. So date 2 is still not kiss worthy. Then he said, by date 3, she was either crazy or most likely it meant she liked him, so he would consider it then. As I was hearing his plan on kissing, I thought that was adorable. Mostly because deep down I wondered if the guys that I have already been out on dates with had been disappointed that there wasn’t a kiss. I wasn’t sure if guys thought, “Well I paid for her meal, the least she could do is give me a goodnight kiss.”

After dinner, I wasn’t ready for the date to end. So I looked at him and said, “Now what?” Of course, he turned that back on me. So after going back and forth again, I decided on a movie. I narrowed it down to two movies and I told him he MUST pick from there, no coin was going to help him out this time. He picked and we drove to the theatre.

As we walked up to pay for our tickets, I told him I would pay for the movie, since he paid for dinner. He laughed and just shook his head. So as we got further in line and he opened up his wallet, I told him that I was serious and I was just not offering to be nice. He told me I wasn’t going to pay and that was the end of that conversation. Well hello Mr. Decisive, I didn’t know you existed 🙂

I was enjoying the movie, but he was shifting a lot in his seat because of his leg. At one point, I leaned over and asked him how he was feeling and gave him a sympathetic look. He said he was fine, and I commented about how it was a long movie. He said, “I know, you are probably bored, we can go if you want.” I didn’t say it was a long movie because I was bored, I said it more to be sympathetic about him having to constantly shift his weight for his leg. I said that I was fine and that I didn’t want to leave. That is when I realized he was probably self-conscious about the fact that he had picked that movie and he felt responsible because it was his choice. I realized then that guys are probably more insecure about making date plans, than I thought. First dates are hard, because you barely know the person at all. I am sure that the guy wants to make sure the girl is having a great time and they probably put a lot of pressure on themselves in that area. That is probably why Racer Dude wanted me to decide everything. Guys want to know if the girl is having fun, while the girl just wants to know if the guy finds her pretty.

Sidenote: I have a friend who has realized how hard date planning can be. So much so, that he decided to become a bit of a dating consultant. He plans the dates for the guys. He offered to help my dates out, but I just haven’t known a good way to tell my dates to contact him. But if anyone is interested in having someone else plan your date, to take the pressure off a bit, even if you are already in a relationship or married, you should check him out. You can contact him by email at ben@onpurposeadventures.com.

So as we were walking out, he apologized for the movie and said he probably enjoyed it more than I did. I told him that I enjoyed it too, and that he had nothing to apologize for! We got in his car and he drove me back to where we started, Starbucks. I thanked him again for dinner, for the movie, and for being willing to drive so far to meet me. He asked me to text him when I got home, so he knew I got home safe. I told him I would and I walked to my car.

When I got home, I texted him that I had a great time and I thanked him for being a gentleman. He later texted me back and said he had a great time too and ended it with…yep…you guessed it, “Sweet dreams lil lady.”

18 dates and counting down. Until next weekend.

Date number 11 has been planned for over a month. I was matched with this guy back when I first joined eharmony on September 18th and the following day he gave me his number in case I was interested in texting. Since this was at the beginning of my journey, I was apprehensive about giving out my number right away. In fact I never even gave my number to my first couple of dates, we just planned the date through email. So I remember writing him back about how it would probably just be best to keep communicating through email. And we did that for awhile, just short little emails back and forth, each time I wondered how many more it would take for him to ask me out. He never did, until finally on October 7th he finally brought up relationships and asked me what I was looking for exactly. He already knew about my 30 dates because of my profile, but I went into a bit more detail about the pressures I put on myself with first dates in the past.

If you want to hear more about that, here is the link I told you I would post when I was interviewed on the radio show MOD Love about dating:

I come in around minute 26.

http://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/3159967

He emailed back and his response ended with this statement:

“I know how much pressure dating can be, that’s why I think it’s cool to have this conversation first. We aren’t even texting yet, so that lets me know you are taking it slow, but just how slow? I would love to continue to get to know you and hopefully we will. But you have to be willing to take risks in order for there to be progression.”

I was a little confused by that email, so I wrote back asking what he meant about taking risks. He later said I needed to put myself out there at some point. Again, I was confused, so when I wrote back, I explained to him that I had been waiting for him to ask me out. He wrote back the next day and said:

“I haven’t asked you out because you don’t even want to text lol. I would love nothing more than to go out with you! But normally when someone doesn’t want to text, they really have no intention of ever going out in the first place. Some girls are different but I usually have a number before the first date is all Im saying lol. I’m sorry I haven’t actually asked you out but you said you wanted to get to know me here first. I take that as no date for a long time haha. So sorry for the confusion. Like I said I would love for us to meet!”

I had totally forgotten by this point, that he ever asked about texting. I was a bit more relaxed with giving out my number now, I just had forgotten to tell him. So I gave him my number and due to my schedule we planned a date for November 1st. Again, I felt badly, making him wait this long, especially, since we began communication on September 18th! However, he said he had a few things going on and he worked a lot too, so it worked out perfectly for him.

The week leading up to our date was a bit chaotic for me due to some obligations at work and many times I responded to his texts several hours late to explain I was sorry and that I just had a lot on my plate. He said he understood and asked me if I needed to re-schedule our date for Saturday. I knew I had to start a few assignments, but I told myself I could do that Saturday morning/afternoon before our date at 6:00. I told him I would be fine, after all, he had been waiting since September 18th and was being so darn patient. So we kept it as planned.

But then it snowed. On November 1st. In South Carolina. And if you live here, you know snow changes everything.

My power went out around 7am, I got up for two minutes to see an inch of snow on the ground and then got back in bed. Every hour or so after that, I would get out of bed, notice the power was still not on, then get back in bed to stay warm. Finally around noon, Mr. Patient texted me and I told him we had snow and my power was out. He told me it didn’t snow at his house, so he was shocked. He said, “If your power doesn’t come back on soon, you will not be able to get ready for our date tonight.” I am glad he realized that, because those were the exact thoughts going around in my head. Especially because I had not washed my hair the day prior. Who wants to go on a first date, not showering with greasy hair?! I told him I would let him know in a few hours if the power was back on. He said, if it wasn’t, he didn’t mind re-scheduling.

By 2, it wasn’t back on and so I texted him and cancelled our date. I went on and on about how badly I felt, but being the patient guy that he is, he was totally understanding.

Then Mr. KJWTS texted.

I was a bit overwhelmed because I had planned to get some assignments finished for school, but without the internet and heat, laying in my bed was about all I was getting accomplished. When I shared this with him, he suggested I bring my work to his house and he told me that he had a gas fireplace and that I would be really warm. He lives over an hour away and he didn’t get snow or lose power. I don’t even know if he was serious at first, but the more we texted, the more the idea was sounding good to me. I could not believe I was considering this. I told him I REALLY needed to get work done and that it was going to be hard to justify the drive. He explained he had work to do as well and that he would leave me alone. He said that just being together in the same place would be nice. I told him that if I came, I was probably going to need to shower at his house and he was fine with that. Before I could talk myself out of it, I changed out of my pajamas, put on make-up, pulled my greasy hair up into a messy bun and I got in the car and started driving towards his house.

Notice I didn’t even get a picture this time.

Yes, I do realize this was more than me just wanting to get warm and about getting some of my work done. It was because I wanted to see him again. But I couldn’t let myself know that. Due to my lack of dating, I have rarely let another person determine my emotions and thus affecting my every day decisions. So when I sense this starting to happen, it starts to freak me out a bit. I begin to think of all of the areas where I could get hurt or where I could hurt him and I begin to pull away before there is even a possibility of getting too involved. Hence, the whole not dating in my 20s thing. Mr. KJWTS has called this my “freakout meter.” Once, before our second date, he told me to let him know if my freakout meter ever got above a 5. So, as I began driving to his house on roads no longer layered with snow, my freakout meter began to rise steadily.

What was I doing? Cancelling on one guy to go out on a 3rd date with another? Was this even a date? Was I going to blog about this? I wonder if greasy hair is a major turn off?

When I got there, I walked up to his door and knocked. He opened it and unlike last time, I stayed out on the front porch, offering him no welcoming hug. He looked at me, I looked at him and with a pouty lip and scrunchy face, I told him my freakout meter was a bit high. He smiled and told me to come in.

I walked in and immediately began telling him that I was not sure that this was such a good idea that I came… and that I had so much work to get done… and that we did homework on our second date, so our third date was supposed to be something way more fun… and that he was going to think I was boring… and that I had greasy hair… and that I really needed to shower…but instead just needed to get my work done, so a shower would have to wait.

After my word vomit, he looked at me and went to touch my hair. I swatted away his hand and told him he would not be touching my hair under these conditions. He asked me if I wanted him to leave me alone, so I could get started on my work. I patted the seat on the couch next to me and told him to just sit for a second while my freakout meter lowered a bit. He did and we talked (although I can’t remember what we talked about). He had the fireplace on and some kind of classical music playing. He told me I was still beautiful even without a shower and I started to feel myself relax. I eventually pulled out my laptop to begin a paper and he went upstairs to his office to do some work.

At one point, he came back down, walked around the living room and I asked him how to turn the music down. He did that for me and then went back upstairs. It occurred to me that I had no idea why he had come down in the first place. He probably didn’t know how to handle me. And rightly so. I barely know how to handle me. After a bit more time had passed, he came back down and started reading on the couch.

I eventually reached my limit of writing my paper, which wasn’t much by the way. I don’t know how I can whip out these blog posts weekly and then feel like my teeth are getting pulled when writing a research paper. I pulled out some papers to grade for my classes and he asked if he could help. We sat on the couch with the answer key in between us and graded the papers in a record time. By this time it was after 7pm and he offered to go pick up something for dinner. I thought that was incredibly sweet of him to offer that, instead of asking to go out, since I still had not showered. I told him that sounded great and that I would shower while he was out. He showed me the guest bathroom and then left.

After showering and putting on sweatpants and a sweatshirt, I knew it was pointless to put on make-up or really do anything with my hair since it was already so late. I decided to put on a light layer of foundation powder, and as I was blow drying my hair, I heard him come back home. I settled for a half wet hair look and went downstairs to join him for dinner. I am not going to lie, having barely any make-up on, I was a bit worried he wasn’t going to find me as pretty anymore. But I went downstairs and tried to act confident and smiled at him. He told me I looked more relaxed and invited me to his couch to eat dinner while he turned on the television.

After we ate, I did another small assignment while he cleaned up and started making some kind of shortcake dessert that he put in the oven. At one point he came over to sit by me on the couch and touched my hair asking if I had naturally wavy hair, since it was beginning to dry on its own. I said it kind of does its own thing when it air dries and I smiled at him, knowing he was probably relieved I didn’t swat his hand away this time. He ran his hand through my hair and said he liked my hair a lot and then got back up to get the dessert as the timer went off in the oven.

After we ate dessert, he asked if I wanted to watch a movie and I knew I should have said no. I knew it was going to be a very late night, if I didn’t leave soon. But I said yes and told my freakout meter to shut the heck up.

After the movie, I glanced at my phone and groaned about how late it was. He told me to remember it was still an hour earlier because of the time change and that I didn’t need to leave yet. I did need to leave though. I thanked him for having such a servant’s heart, for letting me come to his house to do homework yet again and for getting dinner.

On the drive home my phone lit up with a text. As I glanced at it, the last part said, “You grow more beautiful the more I get to know you and the less makeup you wear. Drive Safe!”

And there you go folks, Mr. Knows Just What To Say strikes again.

Now, I know what you are thinking. You are wondering if I am going to give up my 30 dates thing, you are wondering if Mr. KJWTS will just get the rest of them. With that, all I can say is, we already have a 4th date planned, but that is as far as I will go in thinking ahead. I can only tell my freakout meter to shut up for so long. So don’t get ahead of me and think this guy is “the one” or anything. I have told myself from the beginning, I don’t need to figure that out so soon, that is what brings on the pressure. Take one date at a time, and that is what I am doing. I’ve got to do what I can handle. And right now, it is to continue the next 19 dates with other guys as well.

So 19 dates and counting down. Until this weekend.

I have this thing for tall guys. I mean really tall guys, like over 6 foot tall. I am not sure why, but for some reason on the “list” of what I find attractive in a man, I always had the adjective of tall.

One confession that I have to make is that this is not my first time trying out eharmony. Once, maybe about four years ago, right after Christmas, I gave in to the holiday eharmony commercials (and discount) and started a profile. Obviously, I didn’t have success to share with that experience. During that time, I remember distinctly getting matched with guys and the first thing I would look at was their height. If they weren’t over 6 foot tall, I most likely did not respond to them. I know that’s ridiculous, even more so now that I am actually typing it and seeing it written out. I communicated with one guy, I forgot how tall he was now, but I certainly know he was over 6 foot. We sent about 8 or 9 rather lengthy emails back and forth and then he must have lost interest because he stopped emailing me. I was annoyed and decided eharmony was not going to work for me and let my subscription expire and told myself over and over again, I was done with the online dating thing. I tried it once, it didn’t work for me, and that was it.

Interesting how things changed. So this time around, I wasn’t going to look at height. I would glance through their profile, but I would not make any ridiculous judgments about trivial things. I would go out with whoever initiated. Well ALMOST everyone that initiated. We have Mr. FaceTime that didn’t make it to a date, but we at least made it to email stage. Recently, there was a guy that started the initial communication and after skimming through his profile, I noticed something I did not like. His profile said some pretty cool things, like most of the guys that I seem to be getting matched with. However at the end of one of his statements about himself he added this phrase:

“Please have a full body picture. The head shots to hide obesity does no one any favors. It’s like the first lie you tell someone your trying to start an honest relationship with….”

Way to make girls feel great, right there. First of all, I do have a full body shot on my profile, although, not because of the reason Mr. Jerkface stated above. I just liked one of my pictures due to the lighting that happened to have most of my body in it. But that statement offended me and I am slender. If a girl struggling with her weight saw that, I doubt that in any way she is going to think, “Oh, I need to go put a full body shot up there for Mr. Jerkface to look me up and down to see if I am “obese” or not.” Just not a good thing to write in your profile, dude. Either initiate communication with girls you like, or don’t. Don’t ask girls to put a full body picture up! He also happens to have a picture with his shirt off. I am starting to see some similarities when it comes to guys with shirts off. Needless to say, I didn’t even start the first round of communication with him.

I am so thankful that I told myself that this time around would be different. Some guys had pictures that didn’t necessarily show that they were my physical “type” and many weren’t taller than 6 foot, but those aspects no longer mattered to me on my 30 dates. As long as there were no red flags, sorry Mr. FaceTime and Mr. Jerkface, I was going to begin communication with them if they initiated. I am so glad that I did. Because I have met some awesome men, that I might have missed the opportunity of getting to know because of my superficial height fetish.

I was recently interviewed on a radio show broadcasted out of Charleston about love and dating.  For those that are interested, I can post the link of their website, once the show becomes archived, but it is not available yet. One of the questions that the host asked me was “What is the most valuable lesson you have learned from this adventure?” I wish I would have told her what I said above. Thinking you know exactly what “type” of guy you want and zeroing in on trying to find those perfect qualities, could keep you from meeting some really awesome men.

Mr. KJWTS (dates 3 and 9) said the same thing to me on our first date. He said he had something against “blue eyes” because one of his first girlfriends with blue eyes broke his heart a long time ago. He said he avoided women with blue eyes for the longest time, until he recently “wised up” a bit and realized what was important, and it was not the color of  someone’s eyes. He said he thought I had blue eyes before we met, because some of my pictures on eharmony did look that way. He now knows I have green eyes, but he literally said that a few years ago he probably would not have initiated communication with me because of that very reason. Sounds almost as ridiculous as me not beginning communication unless I saw the number 6 somewhere at the beginning of the height. Mr. KJWTS is 5’11”, and I shared with him that if I was matched with him four years ago, we would probably not be on this date now. We both laughed, realized how stupid both of our thoughts had been, and thanked God we both got over our “things.”

Am I talking about date 3/9 too much, when this post is about date 10?! Okay… so on to date 10. Date 10 was 6’5″, and I must admit, I was a little excited to wear heels on this date. I mean, now was my opportunity.

Before our date, he texted me and asked if he could call me to talk about setting up the details regarding where we would meet. This was the first time I had a date ask to call. I didn’t have a reason for him not to, besides the fact that I had planned nine other dates over email or text, but I figured I would let him call. I am not a phone talker at all, which is why I usually let the guy know up front that texting is just easier for me. However, I knew that his intention was to set up the date, not to get to know each other over a one hour phone conversation. So I told him when I would be available to talk and he called. The conversation went better than I thought and even after we had the date planned, I think we might have talked for about another 40 minutes.

The date was last Sunday and we met for lunch at one of my favorite pizza places. I had chosen the restaurant because he said he wasn’t as familiar with the area, since he was driving in from about an hour away. We met for lunch at 2:00. We sat down at our table and one of the first things that he mentioned to me was that he liked my nail polish color. I thought that was cute, not many people, well not many guys anyway, have complimented me on my nail polish. I said thanks but might have looked a bit shocked that he noticed. He went on to explain that so many guys usually just tell girls that they look nice. So he likes to pick one thing out about them and compliment them on that instead of the broad, “You look nice” statement. I appreciated that and thought it was clever but I said, “So you chose my nail polish?” It was a dark green color, in case you were wondering. He said, well I noticed your earrings and your shoes too (I loved that he noticed my shoes). I told him that I specifically wore heels because I knew he was tall. He laughed and said that one girl that he had communicated with on eharmony asked him in an email, “Are you really 6’5″?” He said, “Umm yes, a guy that is 6 foot 5 inches, doesn’t lie about his height, it’s not like I am really only 6’4″ and want to add in an extra inch for shock purposes.” I laughed and realized I thought he was funny. He was funny and real. There was something about him that I could just tell he was being himself.

After our pizza arrived, he placed a slice on my plate first (very gentlemanly) and we began eating. A few bites in, he stopped and looked at me and said, “Well I at least know you are pretty, what else should I know about you?” Way to slip another compliment in there Mr. 6’5″. As much as I loved the nail polish comment, this one made me really smile.

We talked a bit about our jobs and our families and after about an hour, we were ready to leave. He paid for the pizza, boxed up one piece for me and two for him. Neither one of us had planned anything after lunch, but since he had driven about an hour to get there, I knew we couldn’t end the date so quickly. After taking the pizza boxes to my car, I suggested we take a walk around the State House. He thought it was a good idea as well and so we took off, heels and all, and walked a block over. At one point, we sat on a bench and I enjoyed listening to him as he shared with me about how he mentors high school boys at his church.

Soon, I was getting mosquito bites all over my legs and we had to leave. We walked back to my car, he grabbed his pizza slices and we began our goodbyes. As I was telling him thank you for driving to meet me and for paying for the pizza, he put his box down on the trunk of my car. I could tell he was going in for a hug, but right before he did, he said, “I am going to hug you.” I laughed and thanked him for the warning. We hugged and he told me to let him know if I wanted to ever do this again.

The next day, he texted me and asked if I was going to eat the left over pizza for lunch or dinner. Good job Mr. 6’5″. I enjoy personal texts that have a bit of meaning instead of just generic “Hey, how is your day?” texts. The next day, his text said, “How was your day today?” Oh well, that’s okay, it was cute that he was still thinking of me enough to text me and ask.

20 dates and counting down. Until this week sometime, when I post about yesterday’s impromptu date. I had been debating whether to blog about yesterday’s date, you will see why after I post. But I have come to the conclusion, you all have been in this with me from the beginning, might as well share with you every detail, okay, not EVERY detail, but some details at least 🙂

This was not my first second date in my entire life, but it was my first second date since starting the 30 dates back in September. Can anyone guess who?

That’s right. Date Three, Mr. Knows Just What To Say. I think I gave him two different nicknames in that post. He was also known as Mr. Intellect, but after going out on a second date with him, he should probably be known as Mr. Knows Just What To Say from now on, because he certainly knows just. what. to. say.

Originally I had three dates planned for this weekend, but Friday’s date never followed through. On October 2nd, Mr. Doesn’t Follow Through, texted me and after a few starting questions, like “How are you?” and “How has your week been?” we began trying to set a day for our date. He suggested four different days (three of which were weekdays) and all four were days I couldn’t do. So I suggested the 24th, holding my breath and apologizing that we had to wait over 20 days to meet. He literally said, “It’s all good!” and that was it. About a week later, I texted him and told him I was looking forward to meeting him and that I hoped he didn’t forget about me. The next day he texted a short answer consisting of the words, “Ok yea sounds good” which confused me because that didn’t seem like a response to what I said. Okay yea? Sounds good? Meaning…you are going to forget about me? I just left it at that, didn’t know how to respond and wondered if I would ever hear from him again. I didn’t. The 24th came and went and nothing.

However, I can’t say I was too disappointed because I am fine having a Friday night at home, knowing I had two dates the following days. And I was really looking forward to my second date with Mr. KJWTS, since he had still been texting me quite often.

About a week and a half ago, we were having a conversation about what to do on our date. I told him I would drive to his town this time. He was throwing out some ideas and I told him that I really didn’t care what we did. I just wanted to see what it was like being together a second time. He then said he was going to plan a really lame date, kind of like a “make it or break it” kind of date, to see if we enjoyed being around each other. I told him I liked his thinking. I seriously did. I would have been fine staying at his house playing Monopoly (which was one of his suggestions) rather than going on some adventurous date. He told me to bring a book and we could read together on his couch. I am not sure if he was joking or not, but I went with it. I told him that I was going to bring GRAD school homework. He said that was probably the lamest thing he could think of and he loved that idea. He volunteered to help me. So our date was planned.

24 hours before our date he texted me and said, “I am glad that I got YOU looking forward to tomorrow almost as much as me.” I don’t know how he knew that, I don’t think I ever came out and told him that, but he just seems to “get me.” I agreed with him and asked him how he managed to do that?

His response:

“Well I’d like to think it was all my charm, but I don’t think any guy is good enough to crack your code. So my only conclusion is God must have had something to do with it.”

Three truths right there friends. He has charm. I have a tough code to crack (which, I let him know was not fully “cracked” yet) and God certainly seemed to be playing a part.

Anyway, with cute texts like that, how could I not be excited for our second date?!

I know you are probably sick of seeing pictures of just me and you would much rather see a picture of my date, but this is the best I am gonna do. Plus, you get to see the outfit I wear for each date! 🙂

It took me about two hours to get to his house after making a pit stop for some gum. I forgot to re-stock before I left my house. And you cannot go on a date without gum. That’s my rule anyway. And that should be your rule too. At least I remembered to put on deodorant this time, I had forgotten that on date six, but forgot to mention that in that post. I got to his house a bit before 4, parked in his driveway, hoping he would come out to greet me. He didn’t, so I pulled myself out of the car and went and knocked on his door. He opened it and I hugged him. I told myself ahead of time to hug him right away, because on our first date he said he was nervous. I wanted to do anything in my power to make him feel comfortable from the beginning this time.

I entered in his very clean house, took a quick tour and we got down to business with my GRAD school project. Doing homework with someone else is always way more fun. While we were working, I looked up and there was a cat coming down the stairs. I don’t know where the cat was hiding during the house tour, but I looked at him and said, “Of course you have a cat.” He smiled and I asked him what her name was. He said, a bit embarrassed, “well I call her Toot.” “Okay,” I said, I didn’t ask any questions, and we got back to work.

After about an hour of working, I was starting to get really hungry, and so we left for dinner. At dinner I asked him if he was still nervous around me. He said he was a little bit and I thought that was cute, but didn’t tell him that. After a few seconds went by, he said, “But I think that is a good thing. On past dates, I usually did not care as much.” Mr. Knows Just What To Say strikes again. Conversation was easy and he said about three more cute statements, that I will spare you from, before you start to roll your eyes at his charm.

We went back to his house to finish my project. We didn’t get very far because my stomach started rumbling and I started to get hot with embarrassment. I tried to stay focused, but all I could think about was how my stomach was starting to feel upset. I suggested we stop working on my homework and just watch a movie that I had brought with me. The movie was still in my car and I needed an excuse to get some fresh air. He asked if I wanted him to go out to get the movie, because my car was parked in a lot a couple hundred feet away from his townhouse. “No!” I said a little too quickly, “I’ll get it.” I needed to get outside in case, well you know, I felt like I needed to… enter in cat’s name here.

I felt a bit better going back inside his house, so you can guess what transpired in my car. I was thankful for that parking lot being a couple hundred feet away.

We ended the night watching the movie as I laid on his couch listening to my stomach rumble and praying that the cat and his stupid name stayed far far away. I left as soon as the movie was over, not because of my stomach issues, I had started feeling better halfway into the movie, but because it was getting late and I still had a two hour drive ahead of me.

He walked me out to my car and we hugged goodbye. As I was getting into the drivers’ seat, he started saying something, but I couldn’t quite tell what he was saying. I think I was too distracted trying to figure out what I should say to end this date in a way that didn’t give way to discussing a third date. Not to say that I didn’t want a third date, I just need time to process and discussing the next date when you aren’t even finished with one, is hard for me. Apparently he didn’t know what he was saying either, because he looked at me and said, “There was English in there somewhere.” He was probably thinking the exact same thing that I was thinking and had a hard time wording his goodbye. He closed my door and didn’t mention seeing me again. He just “gets me.” Did I say that already?

On the way home he texted me a sweet text, would you expect anything less? I texted him back when I got home and told him I had a great time and I knew it was hard to say goodbye without talking about when we would see each other again, but I appreciated the way we ended it. I fell asleep with a smile.

Today as I was getting ready to leave for date ten, I grabbed my purse and saw a card sitting inside it with my name. I literally looked around my house, wondering how in the world that got in there.

I opened the card and couldn’t believe Mr. KJWTS was sneaky enough to put that in there the night before without me seeing. It was probably when I went out to make my movie errand to the car.

I know that typing out what he wrote in the card is somehow violating his privacy here and if he finds out I am blogging one day, I am not quite sure how he would feel about this. But it made my heart warm and it is just too stinkin’ good not to share.

So here goes, here are his words:

I just wanted to share my prayer for you and your 30 dates. I will always be your biggest fan no matter what happens between us!

Heavenly Father, creator of the entire universe and every microscopic cell in my body, I pray that you bring Elisa godly men of character on her 30 dates. Give her your wisdom and discernment in order to seek truth and sincerity in their words and actions. Grant her confidence in knowing who you have deemed worthy of her love, and offer her your complete peace after she makes each decision. Naturally draw her to those you want her to know better, and away from those you don’t. Please keep her safe, never having to sacrifice her sense of security. And let her feel YOUR love for her, YOUR grace and YOUR mercy through this process as you reassure her of how BEAUTIFUL she is not only to you Lord, but to everyone who is blessed to have ever met her! In Christ’s Name, AMEN!

p.s. I’m sure I absolutely loved spending today with you. Hoping you had a great time as well.

-Mr. Knows Just What To Say

I texted him and asked him what weekends he was free in November.

21 dates and counting down. Until sometime this week when I have time to post about today’s date.